Observations on Being Politically Correct

Kat Thornton

The world today is filled with sensitive people. Because of this, we must all be very careful of what we say because no one should have hurt feelings. No one is allowed to be unequal in any way due to a physical, emotional or mental disability and addressing such people as unequal always makes the addresser kindness-challenged. This, of course, is the way things should be because everyone has the right to be equal to everyone else in terms of the three conditions: physical, emotional and mental.

One of the groups most discriminated against is the horizontally challenged. These people suffer from the inability to cease eating and so become wider than they are tall. Such people must endure being called things like “Obese” and the most horrible, “Fat”. Other such names come to mind but few are as insensitive as the term “Fat”. These poor people eat in order to make themselves feel better or because they simply cannot control their cravings but this, of course, is not their fault and therefore, they should be treated equally.

It is also perfectly fine for people to immigrate to Canada, not speak either French or English and expect everyone to speak their native tongue. Of course, it is optional for said people to ever actually learn either of Canada’s official languages, and may, if they so please, go on through their lives getting angry with people for not speaking their language.

Finally, the group of people, which is most widely discriminated against, is the group of people from the female gender. Post office workers should no longer be called “mail carriers”; rather they should be called “letter carriers”. This change, of course, should be made in order to solidify the equality between the genders and there should not be any sort of distinction between the two.

These politically correct gestures will ensure the security of the feelings of the horizontally challenged, traditional immigrants and empowered women. Being aware of each other’s sensitivities will assist in securing equality and rightful treatment of others. I would end this essay by saying “Merry Christmas”, but the faiths of others may differ from mine and someone may get offended by such a saying and so I must end it with the universally accepted “Happy Holidays.”

I used prose as Jonathan Swift did in his essay. As well, I added some wit into the essay by commenting on the “mail carriers” and saying “Merry Christmas”.