That’s Schizophrenia!

By: Richard Lynch

(Note: Sung to the tune of "That's Mathematics" by Tom Lehrer...
But it can, more or less, pass as poetry.)

o o o o o

When you see
Stuff that just can not be
When you know
Powers that you bestow
When you act
Like your head has just cracked
That’s schizophrenia!

When your friends
Look just like giant pens
When they speak
And it comes as a shriek
When they look
Like a coloring book
That’s schizophrenia!

When your shrink turns to pink at the sight of your face
When you’re stern that you learn at your very own pace
If you think you are in space, and believing there are Germans
Which only your mind determines

When you walk
And you can’t help but stalk
When you go
Right against the main flow
When you tie
Yourself up in a lie
Oh try as you may
You just can’t get away
From schizophrenia!

Sigmund Freud is annoyed
You know not that he's dead!
DSM-IV, let's agree
Something's wrong in your head
While you are thrashing in bed
And gazing at that pink elephant
While your duties you try to circumvent

When you’re thrown
At the ring of a phone
You’re up front
And you can’t help but grunt
See a mouse
While you’re at the mad house
Oh try as you may
You just can’t get away
From schizophrenia!

o o o o o