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Chapter 12: In which the hole widens and people begin to fall in

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Taylor woke up pretty early Thursday morning. In contrast to Wednesday, he actually did sleep well. Very well, in fact. He hadn’t spoken to Jake, Joel, Alex, Cherise, or anyone since he’d left the bathroom at lunch yesterday. He felt so bad for Alex…but tomorrow was the party(and the pirate dress up for Gaydou), and he was going with Joel. Without a costume.

He stretched and got up from the bed. “What should I wear today?” he asked himself out loud. When he didn’t receive an answer, he threw on some jeans and a shirt, then without even bothering to wash his face or brush his teeth, he picked up his bag and made his way down stairs to where his mother was making breakfast.

“Good morning mother!” He greeted her happily and threw his arms around her.

She didn’t reply right away. “G-good morning Taylor. You seem happy.” She managed a smile.

“Yep.” He replied. Then seated himself on the stool in front of the kitchen table.

She smiled at him uneasily then watched Ulga, or whatever that maid’s name was, set a plate of eggs and lots of sausage in front of her son. Her son, who had so many secrets that were so well hidden from her.

Krista came down yawning. “ ‘Morning.” She greeted, and then sat down to eat next to Taylor.

Matilda carefully sat in front of her son. “Taylor, I need to ask you something.”

Taylor looked up from a forkful of sausage. “Yeah?”

Matilda sighed. “Honey, can you explain this to me?” she placed the pictures Sarah had given her neatly in front of her son.

Taylor dropped his fork once is eyes fell on the pictures and his brain comprehended what they meant. He instantly bolted up and made his way out of the kitchen.

Matilda got up, shocked, and made to follow him but Krista held her back. “Wait, mom.” She said gently, staring sadly at the pictures. “I can explain better than he can.”

-,-

Okay, now who the hell took those damn pictures? Taylor thought as he walked briskly to Ferndou, alone. It didn’t matter now who took the pictures, though. It mattered that his mom knew that all that band practice wasn’t even close to band practice. His mom now knew that he had a boyfriend and even worse…that he cross-dressed.

That wasn’t good news at all. Both his parents were raised to look down on any form of abnormality (whether it be homosexuality, cross dressing, being “emo” or any variety of the like). Taylor predicted that his mother and father’s reaction to this double abnormality shock would cause them to most certainly disown him or some other form of severe punishment.

That’s why I can’t go back. He thought. But what can I do? Where can I go? The first image that popped into his head was Joel’s. Taylor supposed Joel wouldn’t mind if he spent the night. Well, he did live in a mansion of some sort. Taylor smiled as he neared Ferndou’s gates.

For some reason he really didn’t care that Joel loved him anymore (even if Joel loved an illusion). He was sort of…glad. Joel was a great guy, even if he found out Taylor was a guy he wouldn’t really care. Right? Joel’s in love with the person not the gender. He’s in love with me. Although it sounded good, it wasn’t really realistic, and Taylor dreaded the thought of Joel finding out.

Things are fine the way they are.

-,-

Alex wasn’t at school the whole day. Through the corner of Taylor’s eye he could see Nick sitting in the corner, alone and sulking. Taylor felt no sympathy, and neither did any of the fruits in “Gaydou” science wing. Everyone was avoiding all contact with Nick since they found out what had happened.

“Serves him right.” Allie was saying.

“Yeah, I agree. That was rather irrational of him.” Kyle replied.

“Irrational?” Taylor turned to him. “You call that irrational?”

“I’m sorry Taylor, I meant it was absurdly/irrationally stupid and recklessly idiotic of him.” Kyle corrected.

Taylor smiled. “Good.”

The rest of lunch was pointless and Taylor would have preferred to take a nap, but sadly…he had no pillow. Sixth period was equally pointless although he actually did take a nap during a lecture. It was lovely. It wasn’t until after school that anything actually happened.

Taylor was just about to call Joel when Nick unexpectedly sat next to him on the bench outside the science wing. Taylor turned to him “May I help you, Nicolas?” he asked.

Nick sighed. “Yeah, actually. I just wanted to like, you know, talk. If that’s okay.” He said quietly, not meeting Taylor’s eyes.

“About Alex?” Taylor asked. “The guy who, I can’t assure you enough, I’m not interested in.”

“I know that now.” Nick muttered. “Listen, can we play a little basketball while we talk. It’s easier plus I told my cousin to meet me there since he’s picking me up.”

Taylor shrugged. He had nothing better to do. Besides, he was pretty sure Joel was in class anyways. “Sure.”

Nick smiled. “Thanks.”

They walked over to the basketball court where Nick had his stuff and a basketball ready. He picked up the basketball and threw off his shirt. Taylor shrugged then did the same but placed his shirt gently on his murse. He felt kind of masculine with his shirt off, ready to play some ball. He laughed inwardly at the thought.

“Okay.” Nick passed Taylor the ball and they began a simple game of 1 on 1. “How mad is Alex exactly?”

Taylor shrugged and attempted a shot which turned into an air-ball. “He’s more hurt than angry really. I think.”

Nick frowned as he retrieved the ball and began to dribble towards the basket while Taylor tried to block him. “I feel like such a jerk. I’m not even into chicks…”

“Then why’d you do it?” Taylor asked, stealing the ball and dribbling away from Nick.

Nick followed him, trying to steal the ball back. “I dunno. I got jealous of you and Alex so I decided I had to do something scandalous or whatever. I wasn’t really thinking. She told me she liked me and then suddenly we started kissing.”

Taylor let out an annoyed sigh. “You’re an idiot you know that?”

Nick nodded then stole the ball and made a quick lay-up.

“So what are you gonna do about it?” Taylor asked, catching the rebound.

“What can I do about it other than apologize?” Nick asked.

“Make it up to him.” Taylor replied. He dribbled past Nick and made a shot that actually made it in the basket. He grinned at his athletic accomplishment. Welcome back masculinity.

“How?” Nick asked, annoyed. “What the hell can I do to prove that what I did was all mistake and he’s the only person I ever think about and sometimes I get jealous?”

Taylor shrugged as he tried to steal the ball from Nick again, only causing it to fly out of bounds. “Woops, I’ll get it.” He volunteered, running after the ball which began to roll away. He noticed someone pick it up, someone that caused him to stop dead in his tracks. “Shit.”

“Taylor?” Joel blinked.

“J-Joel…” Taylor murmured but immediately regretted it. I’m not wearing a shirt! Shit…he knows! I know for sure no one can be this dense. Not even Joel…

“Wh…” Joel’s eyes were wide. “Is it really you?”

Taylor swallowed heavily. “Joel I…” he tried to think of excuses, reasons, anything to justify what he’d done—what he’d been doing since he met Joel.

Joel bit his lip visibly. He dropped the ball. “It is you. You’re a…” he looked up and down Taylor.

“Hey, Joel!” Nick came up beside Taylor smiling. “What’s going on?” he frowned suddenly noticing the obvious tension between the two.

“I…I have to go.” Joel said quickly, turning his back on the two.

Nick looked at Taylor in confusion, searching for answers. “Taylor?”

Taylor looked at Nick. “I…I gotta go piss.” He said, and before Nick could say anything, he ran towards the bathroom neglecting his shirt and murse which were still sitting near the basketball court.

He rushed into the bathroom and found an empty stall which he immediately locked himself inside. This is the worst day of my life for sure… He thought. Not only did his dumb boyfriend just find out he was really a boy, but his best guy friend was upset, his best female friend was a lesbian, and he couldn’t go home after what had happened this morning. So there was no one to talk to about what he should do in this situation. Not Alex, not Cherise, not Krista and obviously not Joel.

He sighed, burying his face in his hands as he stood with his back against the stall door. What am I gonna do now? He thought.

“Taylor?” he heard Nick’s voice and the sound of the door closing.

A groan escaped his throat before he could stop it. “Not now Nicolas.” He muttered.

“Oh, come on man. Tell me what’s going will ya?” Nick said, with pristine tenacity.

“No. Go away.” Taylor muttered.

“Hey, man, you listened to me talk! Why can’t you do the talking now? What’s going on?” Nick asked. “How do you know Joel?”

“Joel.” Taylor whispered. “How do you know Joel?” he countered.

“Joel’s my cousin.” Nick replied. “You?”

“Joel would be my boyfriend had he not just found out that I am not a girl.” Taylor replied.

“Shit…” Nick whispered. “That’s…that’s pretty bad.”

“Yeah. It is.” Taylor replied. His heart beat was slowly returning to normal pace. “And I thought I was in trouble his morning…” he murmured. Everything was so messed up…

“Okay, well why don’t you come out of that stall so we can discuss this. I have all the time in the world since you chased my ride away.” Nick said.

Taylor sighed then opened the stall door. “I don’t know what to do.” He sat down on the linoleum, Indian style.

Nick followed suit and sat in front of him. “Well, I know Joel pretty well. He’s not a jerk.”

“Okay, thanks. That helps how?” Taylor asked, frowning. He knew pretty well Joel was a nice guy. A nice guy who loved him two days ago.

“Well, how long have you been together?” Nick asked.

Taylor shrugged. “A month-ish.”

“Well, then he likes you.” Nick said. “Or…”

“He told me he loved me.” Taylor said.

Nick stared at him with wide eyes. “No way.”

“Uh…way.” Taylor replied.

“Joel has never ever told a girlfriend that. Ever.” Nick said.

Taylor felt a sort of sinking in his stomach. He’s never told anyone that except me? And now… “You’re going to make me cry Nicolas.” He whispered, looking down at the linoleum.

Nick frowned, looking at Taylor. “If he told you that he loves you…that’s a pretty big step for him. He’s probably gonna take a while to get over this.”

Taylor looked up at him. “Can you call Jake for me?”

Nick nodded then pulled out his phone. It took 3 rings for Jake to answer. “Hey Jake-y.” Nick greeted.

“Nicky!” Jake replied. “What’s up?”

Nick looked at Taylor.

“Tell him Joel found out.” Taylor said. “He’s going to get obnoxious at me, you talk to him.”

Nick exhaled. “Joel found out Taylor’s a guy, and Taylor doesn’t want to talk to you because you’ll get obnoxious at him.”

Taylor glared at him.

Nick smiled.

“Are you shitting me?” Taylor could hear Jake yell into the receiver. “Give him the phone!”

Nick gave Taylor the phone.

“Taylor, what the hell happened?” Jake asked.

Taylor rolled his eyes then told him in detail what had happened.

“Shit. Well, let me call him—” Jake began.

“No! Don’t.” Taylor replied. “But if he calls you, call me on my cell after.”

“Okay. Well, until anything new happens, take a nap okay? You sound stressed.”

“Take a nap? Where?” Taylor grumbled, remembering once more that he had nowhere to go.

“On your bed dummy.” Jake replied.

“Well, I don’t have one, dummy. I’m not going back home.” Taylor retorted.

“Why?”

“My mom just found out that I’m a gay cross-dresser who has…had a boyfriend.” Taylor muttered.

Nick stared at him in shock. “No.”

“Yeah.” Taylor said.

“God.” Jake sighed. “Today’s the day huh?”

“Yeah.” Taylor rubbed his eyes. “Listen, just call me, okay?”

“Okay.” Jake replied.

Taylor hung up and gave the phone back to Nick. Nick stood up. “Well, let’s go.”

Taylor raised an eyebrow at him. “Huh…? Go where?”

“First, to Blockbuster, Second, to my house.” Nick replied. “I hope you can walk a mile.”

Taylor smiled. “Okay. Thanks Nick.”

-‘-

Author’s Notes: Yeah, I give you guys permission to stab me with a fork. Or a spoon. Taylor seems kinda bipolar in this chappy. Sorry guys. I rushed a bit.

Well there you go! Joel found out. Now I’m going on hiatus for about 23 years.

J/K! It’ll take me a bit to find the pages that I originally wrote to be the next chapter. I changed it up a lot though…so bear with me. I also have a tight schedule. Mon, Tue, Wed I have class from 6:00-9:30 pm in addition to school and band practice. So I have a limited amount of time to write and do homework. I can’t balance much and I think I’m gonna fall on my face soon.

Metaphors make me smile.

Luv ya guys,

Rina