From the Shadows

©2007 Kirsten Nussey

I decided to at least try and do something productive whilst he was gone and so I took my school work from my bag and tried to revise through some of my notes. In all the excitement of the last couple of weeks I’d almost forgotten that my exams were just over a month away. I wondered if anybody had informed the school of my accident, and then realised that it was the end of term. I was desperate to go to university – I couldn’t do that if I didn’t pass these exams.

I also realised that before I went back to school I’d need my laptop, which I’d forgotten in my hasty packing. I found it very much too tedious to sit and write my notes by hand, when it was so much quicker for me to type them – and my notes on the computer took up less physical space. I hated clutter.

It was around half eight when Killian arrived back in the house looking quite dishevelled but bearing food. I headed into the kitchen where he was emptying several Tesco carrier bags of shopping into the fridge, freezer and cupboards. I made a move to help but he just shot me a look that said not to, no doubt because of my wrist.

I noticed that he’d bought pizza, chips, meat, soup, biscuits, sandwiches and cereals amongst fizzy drinks and ice-cream. I could feel my mouth watering at the thought of the food.

“What took you so long?” I asked him, he paused and looked me in the eyes before letting his gaze meet the floor.

“I needed to feed.” It took me a few seconds to realise what that entailed before I found myself being sick in the kitchen sink. As I stood back up, I realised that Killian had blood on his shirt which made me sick again – try as I might I couldn’t get the thought of his fangs piercing somebody’s neck out of my mind. God I was in a house alone with a murderer.

“Do you want to leave?” He asked me and I stared at him blankly, trying to keep my gaze away from the blood on his shirt. “So that you’re not in a house alone with a murderer?”

“No I was just…” I thought briefly about the accuracy of his words to what I’d been thinking. “Wait...” I told him, a thought suddenly striking me…

“I didn’t mean to...” He apologised. “I guess I thought you knew that I could.”

“I thought it was all made up; though at one time I thought your whole kind were make belief too….”

“I won’t do it if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“It does… it’s just a lot to handle right now.”

“That’s fine. I won’t do it.” I took his word for it knowing that there was no way to be sure of the matter and then he left the kitchen to get cleaned up, forbidding me to touch anything but my cookie and a drink until he got back. He insisted on cooking me a meal, which turned out to be chicken curry with rice. It was delicious, as I told him through a mouthful of food.

“Can you not eat it?” I asked him.

“I can but it tends to upset my digestive system.” He explained and I tried once again not to think about his own eating habits as I ate my food, worried that it would put me off my food.

After I’d finished eating Killian washed up and then we headed back into his bedroom where I cuddled up in his arms and tried not to fall asleep.

For the next hour we talked about his vampirism and I learned a lot in such a short space of time. From my point of view at least, he was basically human apart from the fact that he needed to feed every other night if he didn’t wish to get weak and sick and the lack of needing to breathe.

“Do you have to kill them?” I asked referring to his ‘food’.

“I don’t always. If I don’t then I’d need to feed from more than one person and there’s a risk of being caught.”

“Will you feed from me?” I asked him, shuddering at the thought of his fangs piercing my own flesh.

“Not if you didn’t want me to.”

“Why would anyone want to be fed from?”

“It’s hard to explain, after the initial bite most people find it to be a pleasant experience because of the effect of our saliva. I couldn’t put it any better than that without showing you.”

“Do you remember them?”

“I used to. I’ve learnt not to – it’s easier otherwise every victim haunts you for a long time. I still remember some.”

“Do you feel bad about what you do?”

“Would you believe me?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes I do, it’s no different from your need to eat. But all the same its hard even for me to think of humans as food. Am I a monster?”

“Not to me. Just because I don’t like the thought of blood doesn’t make you a monster – it just proves that I have a weak stomach.”

“How old are you?” I asked him, a sudden interest reaching me.

“Four hundred and twenty three.”

“Wow.” Was the only answer that I could muster. “I feel really underage now.” I blurted out blushing, but I knew that it was true. He had so many years on mine, he’d probably seen so much and done so much… so much more knowledgeable than I was…as we lay there, another question sprung to mind but I couldn’t bring myself to ask it, Killian must have noticed my sudden quiet and discomfort for he asked me what I wanted to know. When I wouldn’t tell him he went against his word, knowing that for it to bother me it had to be important to me.

“Yes.” He answered my unspoken question.

“Many?”

“Before I became a vampire just one woman, and afterwards four – all vampires except for you.” The number of people that he’d loved upset me at first, until I learned to appreciate that it wasn’t really that many given his four hundred years and thus I tried to be open-minded about it.

“And how many of them have you…”

“All of them except for you.” He once again answered my unspoken question; though I think that time he anticipated it rather than invaded my privacy. “Does it bother you?” He asked, looking quite hurt and apprehensive as he awaited my answer.

“I’m not sure. I guess that I’m worried that I won’t be good enough for you, that you’ll leave me.” I started as his hand reached for my face, and realised that he was wiping away tears that I hadn’t even felt.

“You’re the best I can have, and I wouldn’t want anything more. I want you, Krystal.” He paused. “I want you.” I smiled.

“What about you?” He asked, and I was about to ask what he meant until I realised that he was reciprocating my questions.

“Two relationships that I thought were serious at the time, not including us.” I answered, shuddering at the thought.

“What happened? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. My first was abusive, my second cheated on me with my best friend and it was my fault…” I started to cry, he pulled me closer in his arms.

“It wasn’t your fault. Why would you think that?”

“I wouldn’t give it to them.”

“Give them what?” He asked before realisation hit him, hard. “You’re a virgin?” I nodded my head which now hung in shame.

A/N: Not a fantastic chapter, especially after such a long wait but i'll hope that you forgive me and review anyway :D ... Please :D