A home.

Not something I have anymore

A place of warmth and love and welcome.

Distanced from me –

Where is it?

On the horizon

Stretching

I can’t find it

I had it once

Comfort

But after leaving

Even before leaving

There is, was, a sense of separateness and displacement

No long a home, a family

Just a rest stop for breaks

A rest stop of arguments and misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

My father doesn’t always see my hurt,

Often mistaking it for anger, a bad attitude, PMS, and reprimands me,

Of course

I can’t, won’t talk back –

It’s too risky.

I let him think what he will, let him feel in charge.

But I can’t keep acting for him.

Hiding feelings is no longer an option –

He needs to keep his promises

Respect me, listen to me.

I cannot always be submissive.

Nor ignored nor replaced.