“Look, I need to get it fixed. I’ve had this thing since forever. Whenever, Fuck it, what time? Your niece? Uh... ok. 9? You sure you can’t do it tonight? No, she’s fine. Yeah, everyday. Just gotta get this bitch fixed or I’ll go crazy. Fine, later.” I hung up the line and fell onto the the bed.

Oh shit. So many things are just up in the air right now. I wish I had them under control. The tour has finished up and now I’m taking a well deserved vacation culminating The American Idiot Tour last year.

January never felt so fucking boring. Everything has been so quiet and I was fed up. I’ve been married for 16 years and it feels like a lifetime. I tell ya, marriage is work. But why? Why the fuck does it have to be? I have like the talent only lays with me sometimes. It’s been tedious. But I feel like its been my fault the entire time. The work. Just working to stay afloat. Following petals of the road and building prodigious patience as the asshole known as time passes me by. But I loved my life... despite idiosencrecies. All the bull shit. Feels like Beavis and Butt-head. My childhood flashing in front of my eyes.

But for some reason I can’t function unless I get blue breathing life again. Music was the one thing that kept me from being a cutter. Some mush shit. Random shit has gone down in my life. It was none stop and there was nothing I could control. Thank the fucking lord I write everyday like a fiend. Adrienne keeps me grounded with myself. She calls me on shit and that’s what I loved all along.

Those people, people who aren’t fucking afraid of anything. Fuck, even rapists are honest if you want me to gett on specific on your asses.

OK, maybe I should book it a little earlier than 10am. They closed 38 minutes ago but I know Leo’s personal digits so...

I dailed the number and drummed my fingers on the night stand. Oh good click.

“WHAT?!” oh god sounds like Tre PMSing.