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Half a calculator
Claire gulped, that sure didn’t sound very friendly. All of her friends gathered around her as soon as the crowd had dispersed, “What did he say?” Misty asked.
“He said that I had one hour.”
“U-until y-your d-detention?” Kari said.
Brittany nodded, “Probably. I mean if he had done something to her then I’m very sure that we would have heard it. I mean when you really think about it, Claire has informed us about a lot of things like, why him for instance. What was that reason again Claire?” She asked with a devilish grin on her face.
A fleeting look crossed Claire’s face and soon turned a deep-red shade, “Why don’t we go back to the room so we can talk about this.” Claire said as she started to walk out of the Dining Hall at a fast pace. Once they all arrived at the dorm she plopped down on the bed and gave a loud sigh. “This just might work out to my advantage girls.” Claire said with another sigh.
The other three just made gagging noises, “Dude if I’ve told you once then I’ve told you twenty other times; don’t talk about that in front of me. It’s nasty enough that you go all frilly on us whenever one of us talks about him!” Brittany commented loudly.
“I do NOT talk about him that much you know!” Do I?
“Yes you do. May I remind you of the day before the day of Monday of last week?”
She thought for a minute and turned red, “That proves nothing!”
Kari spoke up again, “I-I-it’s almost t-time.” She pointed up on the clock on the wall that said 6:30pm.
“Eh she still has half of an hour to go. Enough time for us to make a plan.” Misty said with an evil grin on.
“Like what?” Brittany asked, “I mean it’s not like he doesn’t know every single trick in the book.” She added and the other two nodded in agreement.
Misty shook her finger at her friends, “Ah, ah, ah, that’s where your wrong. I was going to save this for Professor Martin’s class but I think that this is a better cause.” She said with a very evil look on.
There it is. The most hated look in all of Citron Academy, Misty’s patented look of deep planning and thinking. All the teachers, especially Professor Karachi! This is going to be one good plan. Claire thought in amusement, “So spill. What’s the plan?”
She reached into her backpack and pulled out a calculator, “This.”
The other girls deadpanned, “What?” They all asked at the same time.
“You all fail to grasp the concept of ‘Thinking outside the box.’ This one little calculator can do a whole lot of damage… that is if you have the right tools.” She then held out a small pickaxe like object and poked a hole in the screen of the calculator. “Half a calculator.” Was all she said.
Yeah…some days I really think that she’s from a different planet. Defiantly. “Uh… what do you mean ‘Half a calculator’?”
Misty gave a loud sigh, “OK, bring the calculator and at odd moments start to take it apart. All right? Then when he looks at you shove it in the desk and continue to listen to his lecture, which shouldn’t be so hard.” Here she gave Claire a wink, “And when he confronts you on it say that you needed half of a calculator for one of your classes and just do what you did this morning. Get it?” Now it was Claire’s tire to grin evilly.
“Crystal.” It was soon time for Claire to depart from the room, of course with her calculator hidden deep in her pockets. As she rounded the corner to Professor Jay’s classroom a sudden change of heart came over Claire, Maybe I shouldn’t do this… I mean I have been pretty terrible to him and that just diminishes my chances of ever getting to really get close to him.
Claire stopped her thoughts as the door to the classroom swung open, “Glad to see that you could make it Miss Valone. I was beginning to worry that you had lost your way… or even better decided that would just forget about coming here and wasting my time.” Professor Jay sneered.
OK screw the last thought. He’s going to meet my new science project. “As I’ve already said in your class I know how much you love having me in your class.” Best to get him worked up now all the better when he sees the calculator.
“Very amusing but I’ll have you know that your cheek will not be tolerated.” He gave her a slight smirk, “No matter what I will not fall for your little pranks. I know them all.”
Or do you? She gave a little chuckle, “Oh I’m sure you do professor.” I’m sure you do.
He eyed her suspiciously but ushered her into the classroom none the less. “Sit in the front Miss Valone, not the back that you are so fond of these days as I seem to think that you are.” He commented as he directed her towards the desk that sat square in the center of the room and, as he said, in the front row. “Now, tell me Miss Valone. Why are you here?”
Typical, a rhetorical question. Claire thought and sufficed with a shrug of her shoulders.
He smirked and turned his back to her, “Just as I thought, as dim-witted as you are ugly.” He commented in a murmur that he knew she would hear. CLICK, CLICK, BING, FIZZLE He rounded on her at such a fast pace that it even Claire had to suppress a small gasp. “What pray tell, Miss Valone, was that?”
Evil Inner smile Caught hook, line, and sinker! “What was what Professor?” She asked coyly.
“Never you mind Miss Valone. Now,” He gave her a piece of paper and a pen, “You will write as many times as I see fit, ‘I will not try and change my school status by just annoying Professor Jay.’ And do not think that I will go easy on you, the Headmaster has given all teachers the right to keep students in detention as long as they want.” A small look of shock passed Claire’s face, “Oh yes. And if you do not do what I think is good enough then you will be staying quite a while here.” He was face to face with her now, “So don’t try anything.” He stressed the last word to a fine point, “Begin.” He told her simply. “And no cheek Miss Valone or we will be spending much more time together.” He added with a sneer.
Hmm well I guess that that wouldn’t be so bad now would it, “Wouldn’t dream of it sir.”
“Good. But I still see no words printed on that piece of paper Miss Valone. I would get started unless you want to stay here all night.” She just smirked and started to write, “Didn’t think so. Now don’t bother me while I’m grading papers.”
It was dead silent in the room for ten minutes besides the sounds of the pens. Then Claire started it again, the light clinking of the little pickaxe against the calculator. It started softly but soon grew into a louder and louder noise, Professor Jay’s head shot up from his desk and Claire dropped her pencil as if on queue, “Oh sorry Professor.” She picked up the pencil, “Heheh.” She said with a fake smile on. She began writing again, then interrupted the lines by writing ‘I found a rift in the space time continuum, where’s yours?’ Claire chuckled to herself but soon shut up at the glare that Professor Jay sent her way.
He grumbled at the distraction but soon went to work. Claire dropped her pencil when he looked up at her little ruse a few more times before he got up and loomed over her while she was writing. A small smile graced his lips, “Only twenty lines, one would be thinking that you would want to stay here,” he looked down at her, “now hand it over.”
Uh-Oh, better play dumb, “Hand what over Sir?”
“Whatever you have been fiddling with. Now as I’ve said, hand it over. Or am I speaking to fast?”
“Nope not at all sir, but I forgot about my homework for my science class. We needed half of a calculator and I didn’t want to bother you with the details.” She smiled a fake sheepish grin.
Humph, “I highly doubt that that is a true story. Who is your Professor I will need to speak to him about this… inadequate study.”
“Oh but Sir it’s far from inadequate! And besides I’m using it for the upcoming Science Fair that we all need to participate in it’s called, “The mystery that lays behind the calculator” what do you think?” Phew! That was close. I thank drama for this!
“What I think?” She nodded, “I think that it’s a waste of time and a despicable way of trying to annoy me. Now let me see it.” Claire handed the calculator over, “If you ever bring this… this… thing into my classroom again I will have you suspended.” He said every word carefully so that there would be no misunderstandings and promptly disposed of the now useless calculator in the trash.
“HEY!” Claire cried out incredulously, “That was my Science Fair project!” She shouted getting up from her seat.
He gave her such a glare that she couldn’t help but flinch, “No.” He said voice full of venom, “It was a stupid way of trying to get me into a fit of rage. Why you would want to do that is far beyond my comprehension but congratulations are in order I am in a fit of rage! Now sit your ass back down shut up and get to work!” He was spitting angry now.
Claire, albeit a little reluctantly, sat down, when Headmaster Patterson walked into the room, “Are there any problems in here? I heard from a little birdie that there was loud and spiteful shouting going on in here.”
“No Headmaster. I was just showing Miss Valone here how she should do her character in her Drama skit.” He nearly spat out the word drama but caught himself just in time.
“Ah, yes I do find that a first hand demonstration is the best way to go.” The Headmaster said thoughtfully. “But Professor I do not want to see that one of my students is harmed during this demonstration.”
Professor Jay nodded, “Of course Headmaster. I wouldn’t dream of it.”
The Headmaster looked up at the clock that was behind Professor Jay’s desk, “My, my, my! Look at the time! Already past curfew I believe that I should escort Miss Valone here back to her dorm.” Patterson commented.
Groaning Jay nodded, “Alright, fine, you can go.” Before he could continue his rant Claire was already out the door waiting for HeadmasterPatterson to continue the march towards her dorm.
The walk was rather silent and as Claire noticed it was a rather uncomfortable silence. “Miss Valone I trust that you will get back to your dorm alright from here?”
“Huh? Oh! Ah, yes Sir. I will be perfectly fine. Thank you, and good night Headmaster.” She turned to the right and walked the corridor to her room where her three friends would either be waiting impatiently or had given up on waiting and just went to bed. Either one would have been good but the second choice would have been the best, unfortunately fate was not on her side that night and as soon as the door opened she was pounced upon by Kari, and Misty. Brittany was hovering in the background patently waiting for her to enter the room.
“Hey why don’t we let her get into the room before we tackle her.” Brittany commented dryly at her friends over exaggerations. Once Claire had sat down then Brittany had asked what had happened.
“Eh, well I did what Misty said and used the ‘half a calculator’ thing and he well... threw it away. Thankfully the Headmaster came in and saved me before he became violent.” She put her hand behind her head, “I guess it could have been worse ne?” They all nodded their heads in agreement.
“M-m-maybe w-we should g-g-g-get into bed… it’s rather late.” Kari said giving a long yawn crawling into bed.
“Yeah Kari’s right. It’s gonna be a long day tomorrow.” Brittany added thoughtfully.
“Eh, what day is it tomorrow?” Claire asked.
“Uh… Wednesday.”
“No what day is it. Day one or two?”
“Oh… day two then.” Misty responded.
Claire plopped down onto her bed, “Bleah, math is next then eh?”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“Heh, sucks for you then doesn’t it? I already had math. Same with you too Kari.” She nodded, “When do you have it Claire?”
“Second block after French.”
Brittany looked appalled, “French? Why would you need to know such a useless subject anyway?”
“Hmm maybe I want to actually get a job when I’m older.” Claire shot back.
“She does have a point.” Misty added nodding.
“Bah humbug!” Brittany said pulling the bed sheets up to her chin.
Professor Webber inclined her head slightly, “Good morning Miss Valone. Good to see that you are on time. Keep this up and you may actually have a chance at passing this term.” The people that heard her gave a little laugh.
Claire gave a sheepish grin while scratching her back of her neck, “Eh heheh I live to please.”
“I’m sure that you do. Now class let’s get settled in. Quiet please.” Reluctantly the class quieted down a little then all together soon enough.
“Hey isn’t that James down the hall there? He’s really late ain’t he?” A student pointed out.
Professor Webber stood up from his desk and walked over to the door. As soon as he stood up the class broke out into about twenty different conversations, “…Really? … When…?”
“…On a desk! Why… WHAT! Oh my…”
“Uh huh… yup… nope not yet… she didn’t!”
“YOU SICK PERVERTS!” Misty yelled out.
Professor Webber spun around; “Did someone call my name?” Misty’s face turned bright red and tears were streaming down her face from all of her stifled laughter, “Miss Chang are you alright?” The Professor asked concerned, Misty just nodded her head. Claire was laughing just as hard on her right.
I think that James should come to class late everyday if it gets me a laugh like that! Claire thought to herself.
“Now,” Professor Webber started but the class was still chatting amongst themselves, “Calmez-vous, calmez-vous… PEUT IL!” Professor Webber shouted out and everyone turned their heads and stared strangely at him. “Now that we are all settled down we can continue the lesson,” He eyed the class suspiciously, “Without any interruptions. Now back to French… verbs are some of the most challenging things to learn who can tell me what verbs there are…” No one raised their hand, “Oh come now you must know some… not even a guess… James what’s the French word for joyous?”
James was off in his own little world and didn’t hear the teacher call on him until someone launched a hair elastic at him, “What the hell?!” He noticed that the class was snickering at him and he turned a red-ish tint, “Oh…”
“Language, Mr. Maria, language.” Professor Webber tutted, “Now the question was; what does ‘Joyful’ mean in French?”
“Um… ‘Joyuse’?” He asked with a shrug of his shoulders.
Professor Webber stared strangely at him, “Correct Mr. Maria.” He looked at the clock that hung at the back of the classroom, and gave a ‘thank goodness’ sigh and directed himself to the class, “Alright before the bell rings I have to assign some homework or else other teachers will think that I’m taking it easy on you all. Now in you workbooks I want you to do page 28 on verbs for next day and make a study guide for them one side English and the other French, have a good day.” He waited for the bell to ring. “How come when I want it to ring it doesn’t and when I don’t want it to it-” RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING The class scampered off to their classes leaving Professor Webber looking very perturbed, “I seriously hate that thing.” He mumbled under his breath as he sat in his desk and graded some of the lower year papers.
Claire walked alone to her next class, Misty had gone back to the room to get the Math book that she had forgotten, and Brittany and Kari had their Math class yesterday to she was all alone in a class filled with twenty-eight other students and, of course, Professor Martin. This class is going to suck. I couldn’t possible get any worse. Claire thought to herself as she strode into the classroom without any type of escort at her side whatsoever.
“Ah, Valone. Where is your posse today?” A voice asked from behind her.
Oh please God don’t let it be her. Please don’t let it be her… But God wasn’t feeling that kind towards Claire today and when she turned around she saw the face of Amy. Screw. Claire thought ruefully, “Oh what kind fate has brought you here Smith? Has Satan given you a day off, or did you just come here to try and drag me down with you to Hell?” Claire asked her voice full of sarcastic loathing.
“Oh har de har, har Valone. Your humor ceases to amaze me.” Amy commented in the same voice, “But sadly all good things must come to an end, I had to leave my perfectly good class with Professor Hank with my perfectly good ‘A’ just to come to this place.” She gestured to the class, “Full of violent little girls and unappealing students.”
Something in Claire went off like a light bulb, “Oh yes Smith this class is far more distasteful then your old class… I mean who would want to leave your class with your 90-point grade average especially when you can’t even do the simplest of equations. People were beginning to think that you liked those detentions that Professor Hank gave you. I mean who knows what you two talked about.” Claire paused here, “Or did for that matter.” She added after a long moment of silence. The class gasped at the comment and started talking almost immediately after it had been said.
Amy looked appalled, “That’s rich coming from you Valone. You’re the one that has the crush on your Professor!” She shouted getting everyone’s attention.
Claire looked surprised for a moment before hiding it, How does she know?!
“What’s this about you sleeping with a Professor, Amy?” Misty asked walking into the class.
“Humph, pathetic excuses for women. Tomboys. And besides why would I sleep with Professors when I can sleep with Eric anytime I want?” She smirked and walked to the other side of the classroom.
“Eric… Eric… Eric…OH! You mean Brit’s boyfriend?” Brady asked.
“Of course. He said that I’m much better then Brittany. Too violent he said.”
Claire’s fists were clutched at each of her sides, “Claire don’t do anything stupid.” Misty put her hand on her shoulder in a calming motion. Claire got out her Math book and with all of her strength threw it at Amy hitting her square in the head.
She whirled around so fast you could almost see where she was only seconds before, “You b-” She froze mid sentence to see that Professor Martin had entered the room none the wiser to what had transpired only minutes ago.
“Alright sit down. Were going to have a little quiz before we get to the lesson.” He said writing five questions on the board.
ACK! Algebra… I didn’t study… maybe Misty knows the answer… Claire looked at her paper, ‘x 2.5’ Is that the answer or the question? I am so going to fail.
“Oi, Claire don’t even try it.” Misty whispered folding her hands over the answers that she had already done.
Awe now I’m more screwed then before! Argh I seriously hate this class!
“Times up! Hand your papers to your left and everyone on the end hand them into me.” Professor Martin told the class.
Claire looked down at her paper, Blank… I left it blank! Idiot, what an idiot I am! She quickly filled in the first question that she copied from Misty. Well that’s going to have to do. Inner sigh
Professor Martin started to go over each of the questions and stopped at the one that Claire had copied, “This reminds me of a story. One of my old students, she’s in her last year I believe, her brother was working on a construction site and fell down an elevator shaft of about three floors.” The class gasped, “Ah, don’t worry he came out alive, not even a broken spleen. Anyway she and I decided to figure out how long it took him to fall. It was about 2.5 seconds and that may not be very long to you but it’s a really long time for him to be thinking ‘Oh Shit’ before he hit the ground.” The class was roaring out in laughter, everyone except Amy.
“That’s horrible! Why would you do something like that!” She shouted incredulously.
Professor Martin shrugged, “It was a very interesting class.” He thought for a moment, “There was this other time with-”
“No, no just get on with the lesson.” She whined.
“Miss Smith, you are in no position to tell me what I can and cannot do.” He glanced at the clock, “But as I can see we must get on with the lesson. We are going to be learning about Trigonometry.” The classgroaned, “Hey, hey, don’t moan.”
“Were not moaning were groaning!” Someone near the back shouted out. “There’s a difference you know.”
“Mr. Powel you have already lost two of your ten free percent I suggest that you shut up and pay attention.” Gary nodded, while Amy just sniggered thinking that she had gotten off easy, “That goes for you two Miss Smith.” She glared with murderous attempt at her new Professor; “Today’s notes are pretty short but copy them down anyway.” He wrote a couple of pointers on the board and a few examples. “Today we are going to learn what Tan is. No it’s not the thing you do in the sun thank you very much Mr. Harper.” Kyle’s hand that shot up was put down rather crest-fallen.
“Please excuse the interruption but could all year sevens in homeroom 7-A, 7-B, 7-C, and 7-D come down to the computer room to sign up for CAPP. Other homerooms will be called down to sign up throughout the day, thank you for your cooperation.” The PA turned off and Professor Martin went back to teaching.
“That should do it for the notes now about last days homework… Yes Kyle?”
He started to talk, “Well you see Professor…”
“Did you do your homework Mr. Harper?” He asked annoyed at the thought at another one of his stupid tales, again. A man can only take so many idiotic tales in one day.
“That was what I was getting to so you see what happened was yesterday. I was helping my dad chop wood for the fire, because our heating isn't working right now because it’s too expensive, and I somehow managed to chop off his hand. So I had to drive my tractor to the hospital, which took a really long time given the fact that the tractors maximum speed is 25 MPH. And so I waited there all night for them to sew his hand back on. Then we had to have the trip back, which we couldn't do in the dark, so we went when the sun came, up, so I didn't have anytime to do my homework.”
Professor Martin resisted the urge to roll his eyes; “Do you have a note?” He asked sarcastically.
Kyle looked mildly irritated, “His hand doesn’t work yet though!”
Professor Martin didn’t resist the urge this time and rolled his eyes skyward, “And how pray tell did you do your heroic tale when you are at a boarding school?”
“Uh… you see…” Professor Martin raised his had to silence him.
“You have done more then enough Mr. Harper. But I do like that story of yours, a tractor how original I see that you actually do use that brain of yours.” He smiled a little as the bell rang and left Kyle to his flabbergasted state. “WAIT!” He yelled to the class suddenly remembering something, “Has anyone seen my calculator? I lost it sometime last class. Has anyone seen it?” There was a lot of shaking of heads. “Alright well if you see it give it back to me. Now get to your next class.” He shooed the stragglers out of the room.
“Oh I wonder is Brittany is going to come to Gym today.” Misty asked grabbing her stuff from her locker.
“Maybe if were lucky she can wrestle with Professor Karachi again. Man that was good!”
“Yeah it was… wait didn’t he loose?” Claire nodded, “Thought as much,” She shook her head, “Well that’s Brittany for you.”
“And here she is again.” Brittany commented placing a hand on the two girl’s shoulders, “Talking about me eh?”
“Never.” They both answered simultaneously. Brittany rolled her eyes; Hmm seems like a lot of people are doing that today. Claire thought.
“C’mon I gotta go and beat Professor Karachi again. Pfft ‘Super Elite Ninja Skills’ my ass.” She mumbled. Claire and Misty didn’t have a response to that they were laughing too hard.
“PRACTICE SIX LAP TODAY LADIES! Now get running!”
“Aren’t we suppose to do that outside?”
“… I meant running in here as a warm up.” Everyone glared at him, the six laps were always the worst.
“So in other words you have nothing else planned so you want to watch about twenty-seven girls run around a track in tank-tops?” Brittany asked still not bothering to change into her gym-strip. “Because that sounds a little fishy to me.”
“Miss Dissan, do not patronize me in my classroom.” Professor Karachi told her simply.
“We are not in a classroom Professor.”
He ground his teeth, “Miss Dissan must I remind you who is superior here-”
“And must I remind you of your ‘Elite Ninja Skills’?”
I love this class. Basically a whole eighty minutes of Brittany telling Professor Karachi off, pure bliss…nah more like hilarity.
“OUT! Get out of here!”
“No problem ‘Ninja Skill Master’.” She said sarcastically over her shoulder as she got her bag and left the gym.
“D-don’t ask.”
Brittany spoke up; “Hey you were pretty good. Very different from yourself, ‘lot less stuttering.” Kari threw her pillow at her. “Oi! It was a complement!”
“How do you know this? Did you skip another class?”
Brittany shrugged, “So?”
“It’s going to go on your permanent record though!” Misty spoke up.
“And I can’t change it why?”
Misty rolled her eyes, “Uh because it’s illegal.”
“… Your point being?”
“You’ll go t-to jail!” Kari yelled out concerned for her friend.
Once again Brittany shrugged, “Not anywhere I haven’t been. So I still don’t see your point.”
The three girls stared at her open-mouthed and wide-eyed, “You WHAT!”
“When did you go to jail?”
“A-and wh-when did y-you get out?” Kari asked.
“Well it was really stupid to be honest. Some idiot at a gas station said that I had stolen a pack of gum and called the cops on me when I told him to get off his high horse and stop pestering me just because I look suspicious. In the background my friends were looting the place blind while I was getting harassed, nice fiends eh? Anyway the cops come and I’m charged for the missing stuff, but because I didn’t have the money they took me in. Anymore questions?” They shook their heads.
Misty’s head perked up, “Hey Claire you know when Professor Martin said that he lost a calculator today?”
“Yeah why?”
“Well you know that little prank you pulled on Professor Jay?”
Apparently Claire was thinking the same thing, “You don’t think that the one that I found was his do you?”
“Nah couldn’t be…” They laughed then looked at each other.
“Oops.” They said at the same time.
“Well what he doesn’t know can’t hurt me right?”
She nodded, “Right.”
“Shut up and get to sleep.” Brittany bellowed from the safety of her covers. Following instructions Claire and Misty did as they were told but were really dreading the next class with Professor Martin, and especially dreading how he would react if he found out it was them who ruined his calculator.
The above is all based on true events, well most of it anyway, and is completely associated with the stupidity of my school. Bye for now! remember to Review