Here I Am
A/N- I know I am not alone with these feelings.

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Here I am, smiling once again...
Lying through my gritted teeth,
Cringing behind my dimples.
I don't want you to know
That I cry inside my eyes,
Scream through my laughter,
Die a little each day we're apart.
Here I am, lost once again.
I drift subconsciously around the world
While I dream of finding you somewhere.
My feet carry me uncontrollably,
Yet I long for them to break free.
I suffer throughout all my days,
Wishing I could find a cure for this disease
Here I am, crying once again.
I lock myself in my suffocating room,
I lock my heart in my tender soul.
When I'm alone at night,
Wiping the tears from my eyes,
I wonder if you hurt as much as I do.
Here I am, lying once again.
I know you don't feel this pain.
I know you don't want to be with me.
I force myself through this denial,
Thinking maybe, just maybe,
You hurt as much as I do.
Here I am, hurting once again.
My salty ears don't quench my thirst.
The blankets that wrap around me
Don't bring me warmth and comfort.
Here I am, waiting once again.
I haven't given up on you, not yet.
I tell myself I could do better,
Force my thoughts to change.
But deep inside I truly know,
That I'll never stop crying for you,
I'll never stop thinking of how we were,
And of what we could have been.
I'll never stop waiting on your love.
Here I am, alone once again.
Wondering what I did to deserve this.
I long for your love, your comfort,
But I would never let you know.
I dream of your hugs, your kisses,
Kisses that I'll never again taste.
I think of your eyes, your face, your smile.
Here I am, smiling once again...