The Politician’s Song

By: Richard Lynch

(Note: Sung to the tune of “If You Give Me Your Attention”, by Gilbert & Sullivan)

o o o o o

If you give me your attention I will tell you what I am
I’m a brilliant public speaker, also somewhat of a ham
I have thus tried my hands in business, especially with oil
But I can’t have my past mistakes let my reputation spoil
Ask anyone who loves me, I’m a charismatic man
They will tell you that for ev’rything in this country I’ve a plan
I adore being on T.V., I look wonderful on screen
Yet ev’rybody tells me that they see me as just plain mean!
And I can’t think why!

I care for the people of this place, I love the commonwealth
I wish to see them do well in life, with money and good health
I want to be seen as your friend, and I want to shake your hand
For there’s surly nothing nicer than your best friend in command
I am also int’rested in wars, and education too
Then I wonder why my care is not as obvious to you!
And all my plans and strategies are quite perfect, I am sure
But yet ev’rybody says that they are nothing but obscure!
And I can’t think why!

Take peace with other countries, it is as easy as can be:
If they don’t agree with us, we’ll simply blow them up, you see
We’ll first give them a chance, but then we’ll send out loving troops
And I promise you now you’ll never hear me whisper “oops!”
And all our neighbor countries we’ll peacefully make fall
Thus leaving us to watch the world, and me to lead it all
In the end they all will love us and we all will be quite free
But yet everybody says that they just can’t agree with me!
And I can’t think why!

He can’t think why.

o o o o o