Smashed
by Wish Wielder

Cast of Characters
Logan, a guy who house-sits as a side job, human, high school junior
David, twin brother to Kaylee, faerie, always argues with sister, high school junior
Kaylee, twin sister to David, faerie, always argues with brother, high school junior
Mr. Higgins, owner of house, human, late fifties

Setting
Mr. Higgins’s home in upper-class America, present day

Scene 1
(Scene opens on LOGAN, DAVID, and KAYLEE walking up to a ritzy house at night. DAVID and KAYLEE look uncomfortable and angry, while LOGAN looks uneasy.)

LOGAN

So…why are you two fighting again?

DAVID

Oh, the same reason as always.

KAYLEE

My dear brother is being unreasonable, and I -

(DAVID jumps ahead of them all and waves hands apart, like he’s painting a scene.)

DAVID

Let me tell it, sis! I’m good at this. (DAVID smirks at KAYLEE.) Front page news: “Faerie Twins at it Again!” Long ago, Matthew O’Malley was banished from the realm of Faerie in the great land of Ireland for committing a crime against the faerie king! Not only that, but he was forced to become human - I know, what a shame! He moves his family, who remained faes, by the way -

KAYLEE

We know this, David! (KAYLEE rolls her eyes.)

DAVID
Shush, you! My story! Where was I? Oh, yeah! Ok, so the O’Malley family moves to the States, and little Miss Kaylee pines over her beloved Ireland! David moves on, Kaylee thinks he’s an insensitive prat, and fights abound!

LOGAN

(LOGAN sighs.) So you fought over what you always fight about. Kaylee loves being of Faerie blood, you hate it, and she thinks you’re a moron for feeling that way. What started it, though?

KAYLEE

The essay I submitted to that contest.

LOGAN

The one about Faerie?

KAYLEE

The same.

DAVID

It’s a load of horse dung and you know it. Nobody in their right mind would believe in faeries anymore. The judges are bonkers, I tell ya’ - bonkers! (DAVID waves arms above head to accentuate his point.)

LOGAN (curiously)

How is it possible that you’re a faerie and you don’t even believe in them?

DAVID (smugly)

I’m special.

KAYLEE

Daft is more like it.

DAVID

Look, I don’t have to take this kind of treatment from you! I’ll tell mom!

KAYLEE

Go ahead. She likes me more, anyway. I’m the smart one.

DAVID

Egotistical witch is more like it…

(LOGAN groans as they stop outside the house. Before ringing the doorbell, LOGAN turns and gives a pleading look to DAVID and KAYLEE.)

LOGAN

At least try to get along while we’re here, ok? I like this job, and I don’t want you two giving me a bad rep. The house owners talk, and if you mess up just once while watching over someone’s home, you’re ruined with everyone.

DAVID

(DAVID glares at LOGAN.) Job? Logan, you’re Concession Stand Boy at the cineplex. This has nothing to do with -

KAYLEE (snappy)

Maybe he likes house-sitting more. Did you think about that?

DAVID (angry)

No one asked you, you -

LOGAN (rushed)

Ringing bell!

(LOGAN rings doorbell. Door opens to reveal MR. HIGGINS.)

MR. HIGGINS

Ah, Logan! Good to see you, m’boy! And are these your friends?

KAYLEE (politely)

(KAYLEE bows.) It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Higgins. Logan always has such wonderful things to say about you.

MR. HIGGINS

My, what a charming girl!

LOGAN

This is Kaylee O’Malley, Mr. Higgins, and that’s her brother David.

DAVID

‘Sup?

KAYLEE

Must you talk like that?

DAVID

Must you cut in to other people’s conversations, you two-bit pixie -

LOGAN (loudly, nervously)

When will you and Mrs. Higgins be getting back on Sunday again?

MR. HIGGINS (uncomfortable)

Uh, around seven. (MR. HIGGINS pulls at the collar of his shirt.) Why don’t you come in? (MR. HIGGINS steps aside to let LOGAN, DAVID, and KAYLEE inside.) You don’t know how glad we are you were available, Logan. When my boss called and said we had to show up to the function this weekend, I thought I was doomed! You’re a life saver, m’boy.

LOGAN

(LOGAN laughs.) I’m just glad you let Kaylee and David come. This was the only night we had to work on our bio project. (LOGAN gives DAVID a pointed look.)

DAVID

I already said I was sorry, Logan.

LOGAN

(LOGAN waves DAVID off.) Relax, David. It all worked out.

KAYLEE

It wouldn’t have to work out if my dear brother had -

LOGAN (snappy)

We got it, Kaylee!

MR. HIGGINS (uneasy)

Are you sure you three will be all right?

KAYLEE (all smiles)

Aye, we’ll be fine!

DAVID

Yeah, don’t worry ‘bout us, Mr. H! Everything’s under control!

MR. HIGGINS

If you’re positive… Well, I’m going to get my wife, and we’ll be off. Lovely meeting you two. See you Sunday, Logan.

(MR. HIGGINS leaves LOGAN, DAVID, and KAYLEE in a hall.)

LOGAN (threatening)

(LOGAN glares at KAYLEE and DAVID.) Things better be ok, or I swear I’ll have your faerie butts on the first plane back to Ireland.

DAVID

(DAVID snorts, clearly unimpressed by LOGAN’s threat.) Some threat. That’d only upset me.

(LOGAN glares and walks off. DAVID looks curiously to KAYLEE, as if to ask what he did. KAYLEE rolls her eyes at DAVID before following LOGAN, leaving DAVID alone in the hall.)

Scene 2
(Scene opens inside another room in MR. HIGGINS’s home. The room is decked out like a hunter’s trophy room, with different weapons and pelts hung upon the walls. LOGAN, DAVID, and KAYLEE are sitting around a table with books and papers piled around them. All look tired, but the immediate tension from earlier is still present.)

KAYLEE

(KAYLEE looks around at the walls of the room.) Do we really have to study in here?

LOGAN (absently)

(LOGAN flips through a book, not really paying attention.) Library’s being renovated. Don’t trust him anywhere else. (LOGAN gestures to DAVID as he says this.)

DAVID (slyly)

Why, sis? Breaks your sensitive faerie heart to be around so many pelts?

KAYLEE (aggravated, somewhat haughty)

(KAYLEE huffs.) ‘Course not! Faeries are hunters as well - you know this. However, we hunt for necessity, not sport. You’d never find a room like this in Faerie.

DAVID

(DAVID snorts.) ‘Course you would! The king hunts for sport all the time! You’re just disillusioned by -

KAYLEE (angry, hurt)

And what would you know, David? You never come home with me to see Gran in the summer! You haven’t been to Faerie in years! You’ve run from your heritage as fast as you could, and you’ve never looked back! You -

(LOGAN slams his book on the table, causing DAVID and KAYLEE to jump.)

LOGAN (angry, annoyed)

Ok! Enough! I know you had a big fight before coming here, but we need to get this done! Can you save your stupid argument for later? I thought faeries were supposed to be beyond all this fighting stuff!

KAYLEE

I thought you knew better than that, Logan. Some of your favorite faerie tales come from our more notorious rows. (KAYLEE counts off on her fingers as she makes list.) Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Bean Stock…

DAVID

Yeah, we’re all just a bunch of petty buggers. Some more than others. (DAVID glares at KAYLEE, who glares back.)

LOGAN

(LOGAN rolls his eyes and groans.) I don’t care! I just need you to get along tonight, ok? We need to get this project done, and like I told you earlier: I don’t need you giving me a bad reputation. I need this money for college, because, even though you two are immortal and don’t even really need to attend school, my education is important. (LOGAN stands and gives DAVID and KAYLEE a pointed look.) I’m going to get a drink. Don’t kill each other, and don’t touch anything.

(LOGAN leaves room.)

KAYLEE

Now look at what you’ve done! If you weren’t so stubborn, Logan wouldn’t be mad at us, and -

DAVID

Me?! Must I remind you who started this whole mess, dearest sister of mine?

KAYLEE

(KAYLEE glares at DAVID, looking like she could kill him at any moment.) As a matter of fact, yes, you do! You started it, just like you start every other row! If not for your blatant disrespect to our family, I wouldn’t have to get angry with you, and we wouldn’t fight!

DAVID

If not for your desperate need to cling to Ireland and Faerie, I wouldn’t have to get angry with you! Dad was exiled from Faerie four years ago, Kaylee! Wanting to return to those unreasonable -

KAYLEE

Unreasonable?! Dad committed a crime against the king, David! I would hardly count their judgment as unreasonable!

DAVID

I would!

KAYLEE

You hate the king - of course you would!

DAVID

Well I wouldn’t hate him if he didn’t give me a reason to!

KAYLEE

A reason? (KAYLEE’s voice raises considerably.) A reason?! You have no reason to hate them, David! They’re your people - your family!

DAVID

And they cast us out like we were nothing to them, so why should they be something to us?

KAYLEE

Forget it! Just forget it! (KAYLEE stands quickly and glares at DAVID.) I’m done trying to get through to you, you idiot! Forsake your heritage! See if I care!

(KAYLEE turns and leaves, and she bumps into a podium in her haste to leave. The podium wobbles, and a vase that was on top of it falls to the floor, shattering. KAYLEE and DAVID freeze, staring at the broken vase in horror. Door to room opens and LOGAN enters, carrying three bottles of drink. KAYLEE and DAVID point to each other.)

DAVID

She did it!

KAYLEE (at the same time as DAVID)

He did it!

LOGAN

(LOGAN looks between DAVID and KAYLEE, confused by the exchange.) Did what? (LOGAN spots broken vase on floor.) My God! What happened?!

KAYLEE

David broke the vase!

DAVID

You were the one who hit it, idiot!

KAYLEE

Only because you made me so angry!

DAVID

There, see? She admits it! She broke it!

LOGAN

(LOGAN rubs temples like he has a headache.) Ok, we’re all going to calm down. Kaylee, you’re going to tell me what happened. Then David’s going to tell me what happened. Then I’ll figure out what’s the most likely story, and then we’ll work this out. Can we do that? (LOGAN looks between DAVID and KAYLEE and waits for a response before tossing them each a bottle and sitting down.) Now, Kaylee, explain.

KAYLEE

We were fighting. I accidentally bumped the stand, and the vase fell. (KAYLEE points to DAVID.) But if he hadn’t been instigating -

LOGAN

Did I ask for an excuse? Your turn, David. What happened?

(KAYLEE pouts, and DAVID smirks.)

DAVID

Gladly. Kaylee was upset that you left, so she started yelling at her poor, defense-

LOGAN

And I don’t want a story! Can you please just give me the facts?

DAVID

We fought, she went to leave, bumped into the stand, and broke the vase.

LOGAN

(LOGAN sighs.) So basically, your fighting has once again landed us in trouble.

(LOGAN plops down next to the podium and stares at the vase pieces. KAYLEE and DAVID share a nervous glance before sitting across from him. LOGAN begins to listlessly push the pieces about.)

DAVID

Logan?

KAYLEE

We’re sorry, Logan. We didn’t mean -

LOGAN

You never mean to. (LOGAN sighs.) I only had one request. All I did was ask you to get along for one night. I asked you to not endanger my job with your stupid bickering. You couldn’t even do that.

KAYLEE

Logan, we’re -

LOGAN

No. I’m so sick of this. I’m sick of getting in trouble because of you two. I’m sick of listening to you! Why is it so hard to get along? You’re family, aren’t you? That should at least count for something!

DAVID

You wouldn’t understand, Logan. You’re an only child. You don’t know how infuriating siblings can be!

LOGAN

(LOGAN glares at DAVID.) I have fifty-two cousins.

KAYLEE

Cousins aren’t siblings. Cousins don’t live with you. Cousins are seen once every month, and -

LOGAN (deadpan)

Four are seniors at our school, two are juniors, seven are in our class, and thirteen are freshman. The other twenty-six all live within a forty-mile radius. My family still believes in Sunday dinners. I think I get it.

DAVID

(DAVID winces.) Ok, maybe you can understand. Still, there is a difference. I have to be around her all the time.

KAYLEE

And I have to deal with his hate of our heritage -

LOGAN

(LOGAN screams.) Enough! Ok?! Enough! God, how do you do it?! Can you not even talk without arguing?!

(DAVID and KAYLEE back away slightly, looking nervous. LOGAN takes a few deep breaths before he continues.)

LOGAN

We need to fix the vase. Can we focus on that? Please?

(DAVID and KAYLEE nod; both seem scared.)

LOGAN

All right, good. Any ideas?

DAVID (whiney)

Hey, why do we have to figure it out?

LOGAN

You broke it.

DAVID (exasperated)

I thought we went over this! She broke it!

LOGAN

You made her, David.

DAVID

Aw, c’mon! It’s not like I said, “Hey, Kaylee, let’s tick Loki off even more and break something!” Gee, that’s a swell idea!

LOGAN (angry)

You probably did!

DAVID

I’m not that stupid, Logan!

LOGAN

You’re certainly acting it!

DAVID

What’s that supposed to mean?!

LOGAN

It means you’re -

(KAYLEE, who had been silent through DAVID and LOGAN’s fight, cuts LOGAN off.)

KAYLEE (loud)

I think I have a solution!

(DAVID and LOGAN freeze and look at KAYLEE.)

KAYLEE

I don’t know how much my brother will like or appreciate this idea, but I’m sure -

DAVID (panicked)

No!

KAYLEE (annoyed)

I didn’t even say what it was yet!

DAVID

You don’t have to. You want to do a glamour.

KAYLEE

Aye, and it’s a brilliant idea!

DAVID

It’s daft!

KAYLEE

It would solve all of our problems!

DAVID

I said no!

KAYLEE

David, please! I can’t do it on my own, and it will fix this!

DAVID (harsh)

NO.

(LOGAN looks between DAVID and KAYLEE, obviously confused. DAVID and KAYLEE glare at each other.)

LOGAN (uneasily)

What’s…what’s a glamour?

(DAVID looks away, muttering, while KAYLEE beams.)

KAYLEE (proud)

A faerie glamour.

LOGAN (still uneasy)

And what’s that?

DAVID

Magic.

LOGAN (curious)

Magic?

KAYLEE

Aye, magic! If David will help me, we can do a glamour on the vase. We’ll have to glue the vase back together, to make it easier and everything, but as soon as that’s done it’s as simple as snapping our fingers and presto! Instant vase!

LOGAN

(LOGAN grins.) Presto?

KAYLEE (sheepish)

You get the idea.

DAVID

We can’t. I won’t.

LOGAN

(LOGAN screams.) David, c’mon! If it fixes the vase, won’t it be worth it? Accept being a faerie for fifteen minutes and fix the dang vase!

(DAVID glares at LOGAN.)

DAVID

I don’t think it’ll work.

LOGAN

But we’re still gonna try. Kaylee, help me find some glue.

KAYLEE (happy)

Aye!

(LOGAN and KAYLEE leave room. DAVID mumbles to himself angrily. LOGAN and KAYLEE return a moment later with some glue. KAYLEE gathers pieces of vase and puts them on the table. LOGAN and DAVID sit down at the table, and the three begin sorting the pieces.)

DAVID (derisively)

This is stupid.

KAYLEE

It is not!

DAVID

It won’t work.

KAYLEE

Stop being so negative!

DAVID

I’m not being negative! I just find this pointless. Glamours aren’t even real, anyway.

KAYLEE

But they appear real to humans.

LOGAN

Wait, what? You said…

DAVID

It’s sort of a physical illusion. So like I said, it won’t really fix anything. The vase will still be broken, and -

KAYLEE

And we could be standing here starkers, but unless we want him to see the truth he’d never know! David, please! You know how blind humans are. They can’t see what’s really -

LOGAN (offended)

Hey!

KAYLEE

I’m sorry, Logan, but you know it’s true! Human’s can’t see the things of old or what springs from them. Mr. Higgins will never notice.

LOGAN

But you just said -

KAYLEE

What I meant was he won’t see the vase broken. To him it will look like a perfectly normal vase.

DAVID

Except it won’t be.

(LOGAN sighs and slaps his forehead. KAYLEE continues to work on the vase as if nothing’s amiss, and DAVID’s watching LOGAN. LOGAN stands.)

DAVID

Logan?

LOGAN

There’re some antique stores in town. I might be able to find a similar vase. I’ll go out and look, and then I’ll be back. Don’t kill each other, and don’t break anything else! I mean it this time!

(LOGAN leaves the room. KAYLEE continues to work on the vase. DAVID grabs her hands, making her stop.)

DAVID

Kaylee, are you deaf as well as stupid? He said he’s going to buy another vase! You don’t have to do this!

KAYLEE

(KAYLEE looks up at DAVID and glares.) Yes, I do. It’s my fault, David, and I have to fix it! I have to…I can’t just leave it… (KAYLEE looks down; she looks as if she’s about to cry.)

DAVID

Oh, no…Kaylee, it’s ok! Everything’s right now!

KAYLEE

No, it isn’t, you idiot! Nothing’s ok! The vase is still broken, Logan’s mad at us, you hate me -

DAVID (surprised)

Eh? Whoever said I hated you?

KAYLEE

You did, every day! And Logan said it, and…just help me fix the vase! At least something can be right here.

(DAVID looks down, looking ashamed. He helps KAYLEE put the vase together, and soon it looks almost better.)

DAVID

Kaylee, you do know this probably won’t work, right?

KAYLEE

Shut up and concentrate.

(DAVID and KAYLEE hold their hands over the vase and close their eyes. Both look like they’re concentrating hard on fixing the vase. Nothing happens, and KAYLEE looks annoyed. Their eyes remain closed.)

KAYLEE

You’re not trying!

DAVID

Yes, I am!

KAYLEE

Then you’re not trying hard enough!

DAVID (exasperated)

(DAVID drops his hands and opens his eyes.) This is pointless, Kaylee! Logan’s buying another vase - we don’t need to this!

KAYLEE

Again: stop being so negative! This can work if you try, but oh, no, you’d never be able to do that! Mr. Anti-Faerie could never accept the part of him that wasn’t human, so -

DAVID

(DAVID rolls his eyes.) And I think I just found our problem.

KAYLEE

And what would that be?

DAVID

Logan’s right. We’re always fighting. Did you ever stop to think maybe that’s messing up the glamour?

KAYLEE (smug)

So it is your fault!

DAVID (exasperated)

No! It’s both of us! Because we’re fighting, the glamour won’t work. Our magic’s strongest when we’re working together, right? Well, we’re out of sync. Like Logan said, if we could get along for two minutes this would be fixed.

KAYLEE (bitterly)

Oh, that’s rich! Like I can just forgive you for four years of hostility and disrespect!

DAVID

Who said anything about forgiving? Wait…you really hold that stuff against me?

KAYLEE

Of course I do!

DAVID

But…you shouldn’t! We fight, yeah, but that’s all it is! You can’t really hate me!

KAYLEE

I don’t hate you, you idiot. I just can’t stand you.

DAVID (unconvinced)

Uh-huh.

KAYLEE

I don’t! It’s just that…well…I don’t understand. Why do you hate being a faerie?

DAVID

(DAVID sighs.) I don’t hate it. It’s just…I have a loyalty to dad, Kaylee. It’s easier for me to hate them, or at least make myself think I do, than admit I miss it. It makes it easier staying here with mom and dad.

KAYLEE

David…

DAVID

I’m sorry I’ve made you think I hate you. I’m sorry I’ve made you think I hate Faerie. I just don’t think they should’ve done that to dad. Making him human? That’s low, even for the king.

(KAYLEE lunges herself at DAVID, hugging him.)

KAYLEE

I’m so sorry, David! You should’ve told me sooner! You’re not the only one who’s mad at them, you know.

DAVID

You are not mad at them. You love them.

KAYLEE

(KAYLEE laughs bitterly.) Yeah, I love being stuck here. I’m upset at them for what they did to dad, too, David. I just know that it was only a few of them who did it, so I’m not mad at all of them.

DAVID

Y’know, Logan’s gonna freak out when he comes back and finds us getting along.

KAYLEE

(KAYLEE laughs.) Yeah, he will. Want to try that glamour again?

DAVID

(DAVID grins.) What the heck, why not?

(DAVID and KAYLEE once again put their hands over the vase and close their eyes. A small light comes from the vase. DAVID and KAYLEE open their eyes and see that the vase looks fixed.)

KAYLEE

We did it!

DAVID

I told you it was because we were out of sync!

KAYLEE

(KAYLEE rolls her eyes.) My brother the genius.

(LOGAN enters the room. A large bag is in his arms.)

LOGAN

Found one! (LOGAN stops and looks at DAVID and KAYLEE.) Ok…what happened? (LOGAN spots the vase.) WHAT HAPPENED?!

KAYLEE

I told you it would fix the vase!

DAVID (mocking)

My sister the genius.

LOGAN (suspiciously)

Really…what happened? You two are acting funny.

KAYLEE

We’re fine, we’re fine. (KAYLEE picks up the vase and puts it back on the stand.) Everything’s fine!

LOGAN

Ok, if you’re sure…

DAVID AND KAYLEE

We are!

LOGAN

This is too weird…

(DAVID and KAYLEE grin at him.)

LOGAN

Ok, now that the vase is ok, we have to work on this project. You two sure you’re ok?

DAVID AND KAYLEE (exasperated)

We’re fine!

LOGAN

Ok, ok!

(Scene ends on LOGAN, DAVID, and KAYLEE talking and laughing while working on their school project.)

END

A.N.: This was a one-act play assignment for Creative Writing. Very fun. I had to change all the names (originally: Logan was Loki, David was Daire, and Kaylee was Céilidh), but I'm fairly happy with it. I'm a bit iffy on the ending, but I guess it'll work. I dunno. I appreciate any feedback y'all would be willing to give! -smiles-