One Corpse and Four Lives

You’ve been gone now for so long, it seems.
It feels like decades have been lived, just for me.
And I am trapped in your shadow, your loss,
I can see now that I am not my own boss.

Your grin is reflected through the eyes of a child,
And it’s been weeks since I remember having smiled.
I live not for me, but for the friends that have hope,
But with each day I see the appeal of a tightly-bound rope.

I am laying in a thicket of my failures and tears,
These harsh wounds have amounted, over the many years.
And I breathe in the scent of your favorite perfume,
You are happy and free, I am forced to assume.

And as I struggle while bearing the burden of four lives,
I can feel the grief and the stress like hollowing knives.
I do long to forget, but I know that this will not come,
So I do struggle forth, already lifeless, to some.