This is the last installment, a series of diary entries about emotions. In the POV of a guy named Lucien. Enjoy!

The Perfect Geek

March 13, 12:45 PM

I don’t like ham. Really, it’s quite revolting. All pink and fatty. Disgusting.

But ham isn’t really my concern. It’s the girl I’m staring at over this ham sandwich. Nasty, fatty ham- Anyway, Lauren’s her name, she’s gorgeous. Short brown hair, cute little nose, and bright green eyes, she’s just perfect.

But my friends don’t think so. See, she’s what you might call a “geek..” She hangs out with all those snot-nosed nerds, with their lame glasses and space-consuming inhalers, who all know what a CPU is and which drive is called what when the rest of us only care that it does what we need it to and then we’re done.

I really want to ask this girl out, even if all we do is sit and talk about science or something. Even binomials and quadratics would be acceptable conversation as long as I could just spend time with her!

As a popular, smart, funny, handsome, well rounded, muscular, caring, friendly kind of guy, I have lots of friends. Most of them are mindless jerks, but I do have the occasional nice friend who isn’t on the football, soccer, volleyball, tennis, swimming, lacrosse, hockey, wrestling, track, or bowling team. I mean, it’s a very rare event (and an amazing one, at that), but it does happen.

And it just so happened that I was sitting with a group of drama club members today, eating one of their “healthy” provided lunches; a ham sandwich. The dramatics and I get along pretty well, I’m tolerant of everyone in the school as long as they’re not a male who gets too much time with Lauren, but the real reason I was sitting here was because she was in the drama club. Presently, she was sitting amidst a ring of people with thin, black laptops, clattering away at the keyboard. She usually did that through the first half of lunch, then left them and their sad inhalers to come sit with the drama club.

And, by sitting with the drama club during all of lunch, I’d be sure not to miss her.

The plan was foolproof, ingenious. And yet, I felt like something could only go wrong.

As my feelings couldn’t possibly be incorrect because the world hates me, something did, in fact, go wrong. Lauren stood up to leave and come over here and my mind leaped up, danced a jig, and partied until it dropped. Of course, it dropped because she leaned over and hugged one of the guys sitting next to her; a tall, skinny loser dressed all in black, with glasses and long, greasy hair tied at the base of his skinny neck with an enormous Adam’s apple. That rubbed me the wrong way, but I reasoned with myself that hey, maybe their just friends.

AND THEN HE KISSED HER. ON THE MOUTH.

THAT STUPID, INHALER-SNORTING, LANKY, SMELLY GEEK KISSED HER.

It took great amounts of self control to keep myself stationed in my seat. I pity the ham sandwich that was on the receiving end of my rage.

I didn’t think I could face her if she walked over. Why, why, why? Why, even through weeks of close observation, had I not noticed that she had a boyfriend? Maybe if I’d noticed sooner, I wouldn’t be so angry.

WHY HADN’T SHE TOLD ME?

Well, why would she tell me? As far as she knows, we’re not friends. She has no obligations to tell me anything. Somehow, this thought wasn’t consoling.

March 13, 3:12 PM

Lunch was a disaster. I could barely look at her, much less have a conversation with her. I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I’ve never been nervous around a girl before! I mean, why should I be? I’m beautiful! B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. Say it again, Lucien! You can do it!

March 13, 3:15 PM

Well, that worked on boosting my self esteem. I’ll go write for a bit (a future author resides here) and tomorrow, I’ll be all ready to see her again!

March 14, 12:32 PM

Provided lunch was obliterated as of today. The dramatics said they’d spent all their funds on a gourmet sushi splurge and we’d have to bring our own lunch from now on. It was a slightly depressing matter, but I do like sushi and so I’m glad they splurged.

Lauren likes sushi, too. I saw her eating it once. A good thing to remember.

March 14, 12:48 PM

HERE SHE COMES. She’s just finished exchanging saliva with the inhaler-toter (well, ok, so they’re too geeky to actually exchange saliva, but they kissed again) and is walking over here now. She is wearing, quite possibly, the cutest dork outfit I’ve ever seen. It’s black jeans and a bright green wife-beater. They make her look like a candy apple...well, a burnt one. A cute, burnt candy apple.

She walked over and I froze. Totally and completely. I’ve never frozen before and I didn’t like it! She gave me a small, polite smile before taking the only empty spot in the circle, next to me, and grabbing some sushi. I really wanted to talk to her. Badly. I could feel it aching in my chest. I’d never felt that way before. Maybe it’s love.

One thing’s for sure, though. She definitely doesn’t feel the same about me. She kept glancing over at Lanky and he kept glancing over at her and they glanced and glanced and finally they made eye contact and he blew her a revolting kiss that nearly made me gag.

Finally, finally, finally, I worked up the minimal courage to speak to her.

“Hi Lauren.”

Oh yeah, Lucien. Real frickin’ suave.

She looked startled and blinked a bit before responding with, “Hi Lucien.” Oh, her voice is so perfect, so beautiful, so– “Lucien, are you alright?”

OH NO, I WAS DAYDREAMING.

“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks.” She nodded and struck up a conversation with Lisa, one of the founding members.

Then, I got a brilliant idea.

“Hey, Lauren,” I said when she and Lisa had stopped talking.

“Yes?”

“That guy over there keeps staring at you.” I pointed nonchalantly to Lanky and she followed my finger.

“Oh, Jeff? Uh, well, yeah.” She laughed nervously and waved at Lanky Jeff, then looked back at me. I thought some more.

“So you know him then?”

“Well, yeah, we’ve been friends for awhile.”

She glanced at him again and he blew her another kiss. I had to chant mentally to keep myself from leaping up and killing him.

“He seems a bit blunt.”

“He’s my boyfriend.” I could tell by her tone that she was starting to get annoyed with me, so I tried not to press. But my big, stupid, jealous mouth had other plans.

“Does he have an inhaler?”

She looked like she wanted to smile, but her eyes narrowed and blazed instead.

“What is it with you people and making fun of him? He’s sweet and funny and he likes me!”

“I dunno, he just seems kinda stupid!” I retorted. She got huffy and opened her mouth to speak, when what she said hit me.

“He’s sweet and funny and he likes me!” But do you like him?

“You don’t like him, do you?” I couldn’t stifle the fierce triumph that I felt at beating Lanky Jeff.

She spluttered for a minute. “I– Of course I do!”

HA! IN YOUR FACE, MR. I-CAN-GET-YOUR-GIRL-EVEN-WITH-MY-INHALER.

YOU CAN’T GET HER ANYMORE!

“So what you’re saying is, you’re dating a geek like him with greasy hair and an Adam’s apple the size of Europe even though you don’t like him and there are other people out there like me?” She looked surprised at my outburst and it was then that I realized what I said. Oh no. Now she knew. Now my fate was in her beautiful hands.

“Well...the answer was yes,” she said quietly.

I felt my heart flatten and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I know I took longer than I wished to come up with a remotely intelligent comeback.

“Oh. Well, whatever floats your boat.”

“I didn’t know there were others out there,” she said, sounding breathless. I looked up at her in disbelief, but she was looking at Lanky Jeff.

“Well, I mean, I’m sure there are other geeks with smaller Adam’s apples.” I was trying to sound aloof. My skill with words was finally kicking in.

“Oh.” She looked at her knees. “I thought you had someone in mind.”

I lost myself then and said the first thing that came to my head.

“I did.”

“Oh. Who?”

“Me.” My mouth was in control now. My brain had decided it was going to focus on keeping me from blushing.

“You? Lucien Baron?”

“Me, Lucien Baron,” I breathed. I’d never been so nervous.

“Well, Lucien Baron, I’d love to date you,” she whispered.

I looked up, hardly daring to believe that I wasn’t in a state of delirium. But no, she was smiling and blushing at her knees like there was no tomorrow. I thought that, if I hadn’t been holding my backpack, I would have floated away.

“Uh, Lauren?”

“What?” she squeaked. She’s so cute!

“Can–Can I kiss you?” I asked, holding my breath. She widened her eyes at me and started to shake her head. I crumbled again, but she held up a finger.

“I’ll be right back.”

She got up, leaving me confused, and walked over to Lanky Jeff. When she came back, both of us were smiling and Jeff didn’t look too happy.

Then she let me kiss her.

Did you enjoy? Please, send me some love!