It was 7am on a Tuesday when I woke up. As I sat up on my bed, the first thing I did was turn my head towards the not-too-big, not-too-small window in my apartment. As usual, it was a pretty gray day. The sun never seems to come out here, and that day was no different. I suppose the tall buildings don’t help the general color scheme. Brushing some hair out of my eyes, I finally decided to get out of bed. It didn’t take too long today…well, not as long as usual. Usually, I couldn’t see the point…but today, I did. I guess that’s the first thing that made this day unusual.

In spite of that slight irregularity, I went through my usual morning routine of showering and dressing and, if I felt the need, eating something. And that day, for the first time in a long while, I ate a genuine breakfast. I don’t know what got into me. But, again, I shook it off, thinking that perhaps I subconsciously wanted a break from the routine. That had to be it, I thought. So, once I was done, I grabbed my bag, and headed out of my apartment, towards my high school.

Going to high school wasn’t such an irregular event for me…I’d long integrated it in my daily routine, so going was something automatic. I walked out to the closest subway station, waited for the usual train, and got on. Usually, I just go about my business, as do the people around me. Yet, that day, something fell out of my bag…something important. I wouldn’t realize it until later though, when I got to my first class. As I pulled out my sketchbook, I noticed it was missing. In my life, I cared for nothing anymore…not even myself. But this one thing…this one pendant…I valued above all else. I took such care of it, and it wasn’t there. I searched for it in all of my bag’s pockets, but I couldn’t find it. For the first time in a long time, I was close to tears.

“Is this yours? It fell out of your bag this morning on the subway.”

I looked up.

It was one of my classmates. He took the same English class as me, and was in my homeroom. But, like with everyone else, I usually never paid attention to him. And, up until this moment, I had no idea that he took the same subway as me to get to school. Still, here he was, holding out my most prized possession.

I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

He smiled at me. “He gave it to you, just before he…right? I figured it was important to you…” Even after he sat down, I stared at the spot where he stood.

How could he know? Who was he? Why…

What an unusual day it was.

Later, that afternoon, after class finished, as I walked towards the gate of the school, there he was, standing. The day had already been a different one. It wouldn’t hurt to do something even more different.

“Hey…want to go visit his grave with me? Since it seems like you knew him…I mean, I don’t know if you have plans or anything…”

He started at me for a moment, perhaps a bit surprised that I even talked. Then, he smiled again and nodded. He had a nice smile…

After taking a few different subways, we arrived at one of the several graveyards of the city. Walking up and down the tombstones, finally, we stopped in front of one of them, the one that wasn’t too big, yet wasn’t too small…it was simple, yet, even for a tombstone, was one of the prettier gray things this gray city had to offer.

It’d been nearly two years since I visited. I avoided going, since I didn’t see the point. It’s not like he would see me…and wherever he was had to be a better place then where I am. I wanted to go with him. I didn’t want to stay behind. But he left me behind anyway. He just didn’t realize that if he wasn’t there, then there was no point in me being here.

“If you’re still here, it’s because there’s more to your life then what you’re making of it now, don’t you think?”

I jumped, surprised. I’d forgotten he was there. And all I wanted to do was to scream and kick and fight and cry. I didn’t though. I should have. But I didn’t. Instead…I took out that pendant, that silver cross pendant with some of the most beautiful rubies on earth…and after looking at it for a moment, I took off the chain around my neck, put the pendant on it, and tied it around the tombstone.

And slowly, the tight grip that I had kept on that memory for two long years…finally began to loosen.

Maybe he did want me to live out my life. Maybe he did want more for me. Maybe life still had more to offer. I didn’t know. All I knew was that I wouldn’t be able to find out if I didn’t at least try.

I wiped off that single tear that had begun to roll down my cheek. No more tears. Not for him, at least.

It was 7am on a Friday when I woke up. As I sat up on my bed, the first thing I did was turn my head towards the not-too-big, not-too-small window in my apartment.

And…the sun was out and shining.