FOREWORD: I lived in Japan for a bit and then came back to England. Felt very different.

NEVER LEAVE

Never leave – I warn you now – the comfort
of your own country: leaving will only
encourage you to stay where you are. The sort
of people who leave home return lonely,
out of touch with a year’s worth of music,
weather, and the latest war in Iraq.
Through subtitles, they’ll say they caught the gist,
smiles fading at your posture and its lack
of patriotic suave.

When did you lose it?

You stare at the sight of cheerfulness and
remind them which country they’re living in,
rolling eyes as they over-analyse
the purpose of a handshake – it’s great and
everything, to have them back, but that grin
is starting to get on your nerves and…

Why?

No one said leaving the country would hurt.
At the airport, you were so overcome
with the hills, and the quality of dirt
caking the conveyor belt, and the home
awaiting you in the arrivals lounge,
that thoughts of ‘not fitting in’ never crossed
your mind. You should have known that, when the cat
failed to greet you,

something vital was lost.

You seem intent on acting normal, but
the truth is: you have a long way to go.
The people here don’t understand what you
mean; they think the way you are can be switched
off – that you can be ‘English’ again – but
you can’t, you can’t figure out what you know,
and nothing your friends and family do…
It was just one afternoon that you itched
to leave the country,

just one afternoon.