Didn’t

You didn’t seem like that

in a way, I didn’t either
I knew I didn’t but still I lied
and tried and cried—though they
claim I didn’t—not that they would ever really know, not if they didn’t want to.

I knew he was the type I wanted
to be there, always there listening
and burning and needing everything
everyone said you didn’t or he didn’t, or I didn’t…I didn’t take the time
to remember.

That’s not how I live but I try; haven’t
succeeded yet—didn’t want to up until then,
to be quite honest with him and you and I, I didn’t really want to, because
that was his job, to be the live-er,
and you the do-er and I the one who didn’t.

Life is an odd concept and not one that I’d
openly share with others but he asked like he wanted to know and though
I didn’t want to I did
because while I don’t like to admit I didn’t
I did, and I knew it and if they knew they would
also, but no one took the time…and I know they didn’t.

I didn’t sing, didn’t dance, didn’t walk, didn’t run, didn’t play, didn’t rhyme—

didn’t didn’t a lot of other things too
but those aren’t the important ones
not by a long shot, even though they’ll
all try to tell me I did, when I know

I didn’t.

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Really old…don’t know when or why I wrote this…just adding it to the poetry dump.