"Tomaszewski Zielinski Villanueva is a tall thin man who happens to be no ordinary human but is in fact the great pirate captain who only became a pirate because he was bored and needed something to do. So one day he dropped his rake on the ground because in the land he lived in this was illegal and he wanted to see what would happen if he disobeyed this most highly important law that was viewed as absolutely sacred to the people who ran the insane land in which he lived.

"When he first dropped the rake nothing appeared to be changed, but after a few seconds of stunned delay, the officials came racing toward this infidel and demanded an explanation as to what possessed him to throw the poor innocent rake into this most degrading state of prostration on the horizontal level of the world. Toma, as we shall call this newly named foe of gardening tools, placed his fists on the bumps that served as his hips and answered the officers with a most arrogant tilt to his nose.

""I have carried out this movement that suddenly sprang into my intelligent mind for reasons I care not to explain."

"This dumbfounded the the men in green and caused them to splutter very unprofessionally. Toma experienced one of those moments when one is standing unsuspectingly with their hands on their hips in a very unfunny situation when one considers what his fate will be after doing something he knew from birth was wrong where a tickling feeling rushes from the pit of their stomach to the tip of their tongue then takes a flight as a hearty laugh. Toma gave in to this uninvited guest without hesitation and that was just the beginning of his unlucky tale that leads from raking the leaves from the lawn to being arrested to kneeling in front of the judge to laying like his rake on a cold hard bench to escaping through a whole blown in the thick jail cell wall by a man as strange as Toma only without the brilliant mind the now crowned captain had residing in his finely built skull.

"The images now zip passed and screech to a halt on the day in which we mentioned the full name and rank of this tall thin man. What was late in arriving and caused the whole teleportion into the past was the few facts that will now make their appearance with no drum roll as punishment for forcing us to see the sickening sight of a rake laying helpless on it's back in the browning sheets of grass.

"Toma lifted the spy glass grasped in his six fingered hand back into the position it would have been had it been where it should have been in the beginning, which was directly in front of his snake in the grass green eye. He grunted at the view he could see now that it was where it should be in front of him which will take us a moment longer to see since we are not looking through the devise he is. Beside the captain stands a man who should be a mystery to us but since we had a skip through the past we recognize this as the man who blew the whole in the prison wall and therefor freed the captain.

""Sir Blake!" This sent by prompt air mail from Captain Toma to the short unshaven man buckling his shoe beside the afore stated tall thin man.

""Yes Cap'n!" Sir Blake, who is in fact an honestly dishonest knight, straightened quick enough to be at his appointment on time but to quick to miss the edge of the railing which cause him to miss the date and was rewarded with twin bumps on his head, one from the rail and one from the one he was supposed to meat but was late in arriving.

"Captain Toma sent a glare to make sure the spy glass safely reached it's destination on top of the head of the evil little man beside him and when it was satisfied that it had the glare came back and settled on the captains brow for a rest. "Sir Blake, do you see that speck out there in the vast blue sea?"

"Sir Blake, still acquainting himself with his new born twins, squinted his eyes to see what the odd fingered captain was indicating with his invisible line of sight. Because it was invisible Sir Blake had to admit with some hesitation that he was not wearing his glasses that would have shown the direction the tall thin man was gazing in.

"For this Captain Toma was sure to add a late bloomer to Sir Blakes new family before giving the little man the glass with which to look through. When the glass was in front of the new eye the captain directed the far end where it should be looking and Sir Blake exclaimed happily that he now saw the speck of which we are trying to discovered the identity of.

""That speck, Sir Blake, I do believe, is the very one we have been searching for these many months."

""Why Cap'n, I do concur that be the very one." Sir Blake agreed most joyously as he lowered the glass from his eye, though to our excitement has kept facing the identity-less speck for now if we are careful we may look over the little mans shoulder, close one eye, and see that the speck floating in the water is in fact much close then we where led to believe it was and is not 'a speck' but is what they called it... The Speck.

""Spread the word!" Came tap dancing off the captains tongue and sent Sir Blake in that very act of movement over to the rail behind them to proclaim loudly that their search was over for in the water ahead of them is The Speck that will change their lives!

"The crew which consisted of a short fat man and a tall fat man, waved their hats in circles and shouted in squares well continuing to mop the floor in perfect triangles which proved they had been paying attention to their lessons in multi tasking.

"Sir Blake returned to his captains side and watched as the ship came closer to The Speck floating peacefully in the roller coaster waves trying and failing to drown it. The ship seemed to slow down to almost a stand still as the crew joined the captain and little man standing by the rail to watch The Speck move with flawless beauty. After a few minutes Captain Toma turned with a swish of his long purple coat and ordered with a bark resembling a dogs that the others turn as well for everyone knew that a watched pot never boils and a watched Speck never comes closer.

"The men turned abruptly, for they did not want the bump on the head that would reward them if they did not turn, and the fishes who looked up at the ship coming toward them at break neck speed would have laughed at the four backs facing them if they had not been concentrating on staying out of the way of the invading objecting known to anyone smarter then a fish as a boat. Which hints at the true intelligents of at least a few of the inhabitance of this vessel for they, we will not cause them to feel dejected from the world of smartness by naming them, believed they where on a grand ship.

"Unfortunately because the four backs did not have eyes the boat missed The Speck, only because The Speck moved out of the way before being steam rolled, and the seven eyes that faced in the direction The Speck should not have been realized with gasps that they where now facing what they shouldn't have been and had to take a few minutes to check and make sure they had not mistakenly turned around to face The Speck but that The Speck had indeed done the turning around.

"Upon this revelation of a discovery Captain Toma rushed to the other end of the boat, followed by the little man and skimpy crew, and ordered it to turn back at once or he would not give it the repaint he had considered giving it if it was good. The boat quickly reversed its direction and after a moment it halted on command and the captain, the knight, the one eyed cleaner, and the mustached janitor looked down at The Speck which returned the gaze but with a sideways twist that made it appear like it was accusing the faces pointed in it's direction of loosing their brains somewhere along the journey for they had almost squished it's tiny shape into a non assistant shape with their boat.

""Oh Speck, lovely beautiful life changing Speck, wilt thou join us in our humble abode hear above the waves that have tired thee for so long with their constant persistence in turning assassination thoughts into actions?"

"The Speck considered this eloquent invitation and finally agreed to be gently scooped up by the lowered net woven specially for this dramatic occasion.

"Once The Speck was on board and sitting expectantly in the palm of our tall thin character Sir Blake and the two crew members saluted the moment and gravely presented their almost re-completed flag to the captain. This graceful man used his most painfully slow movements to bring his hand above the flag and put The Speck into it's true resting place in the center of the cross bones.

"There was a breath holding moment as The Speck melted into place and then hates greeted the birds in the sky as the full flag was mounted on it's rope and brought to it's proud state highest places to wave joyfully in the sunlight. The sight was so beautiful Sir Blake began to cry and Captain Toma had one of his rare moments of softness in the heart as he patted his little man on the back, the beauty flapping above him almost bringing tears to his own eyes.

""Alright then Sir Blake, that is enough! We cannot have the world thinking we are cushions!"

""I am sorry cap'n, it is just such a beautiful sight to see out beloved pirates flag back in one piece and flying so brilliantly above our heads!"

""Yes..." Captain Toma breathed in and out, then knocked each of the men on the head and snapped the air with his sharp command to straighten up and be worthy of the pirates mark that had been restored to them after months of searching for the last speck that would bring it all together and make it whole.

"Now that they where back into the true state that everyone could recognize at once and would not have to be explained every time they boarded a ship to pillage, the pirates boat turned in the direction of the lost island of treasure, which had been their goal when the bigger better bolder more fantastically snooty arch rival ship of pirates had shredded their flag and spread it across the sea to delay them in hopes of reaching the treasure first.

"Anyone who was at our characters level of know it all would know that this was a foolish plot since they where far better then their rivals and no delay would put them behind enough to loose. Anyone who was at the level of a fishes mind would know that that wasn't quite true, but we will suppose it is true and continue along with the ship before it reaches the setting sun without us.

"As the boat sped along because no one was watching where it was going, our Captain Toma was sitting crossed legged in the middle of the boat playing fiddle sticks with Sir Blake well the pathetically speck like number of crew washed the upper deck and tried not to glance at the coming mountains for fear of slowing them down and receiving a special gift on their heads for this error. Unfortunately for them, this would have been a good time to slow the ship down, as it was going so fast that it did not think to stop when it reached the beach and everyone aboard was jolted off their feet, or in the case of the captain and the little man flattened on their backs, when the boat landed in the trees. This state of being on his back put the captain in a very bad mood as it made him think of his cruelty to the rake and for their mistake both crew members where given an extra ordinary prize of four knocks each on the head.

"When he was finished handing out the lumps Captain Toma raised his head and realized that the waves seemed to have changed colour, and had to pause the story to treat the little man to a fifth lump of the day when he was told the waves where in fact leaves.

"This made the little man happy since on a previous engagement an agreement had been forged betwixed the captain and he that stated that no more then four lumps a day where allowed to be given to him from the captain. Of course lumps from the rail did not count, and the little man had a nagging feeling about the days following that agreement and the fact that he seemed to be getting a lot more lumps on the head from rails and beams seeming to be accidents on his parts but also being rather suspicious in their timing.

""Oh sparingly thin crew!" Captain Toma swished to face the men who straightened instantly from their comforting the bumps on their heads. "We must now find a way down from the trees so that we may get the ship back in the water before we explore this island we have landed on."

""Yessary Cap'n!" The crew used their second to non skills of sycronization to reply then turn and search the ship for a rope to get the four residence onto the sand below. There was in fact no rope on board except the one that held the precious flag in it's high state. There was of course no possible way they could take it down after searching so hard to restore it to it's rightful place, and so the four men sat down in a sort of misshapen circle to put their heads together and think.

"An ingenious idea popped into the little mans head but unfortunately it jumped in so quickly that it pushed his head forward and resulted in a collision that left yet another lump on his poor forehead. He was secretly laughing inside though as this collision also left a mark on the captains forehead and Toma could not get him back for it because he had already given the little man his four lumps of the day.

"Captain Toma therefor had to be pacified with lumping each of the crew members, who had sadly not been present when the deal was made and hadn't been able to get their two cents in to have their own heads saved from extra bruises.

""Cap'n oh cap'n I've figured out how we can get down from the ship!" Sir Blake shouted in exclamation.

"This shout shook the boat so hard that it fell clean out of the trees and landed with a strange gentleness in the water right near the beach. Everyone was still for a moment then a bird flew from the tree with it's eggs deciding this was the perfect time to move before any more crazy wooden creators parked on top of it's home.

""Why Sir Blake! That was a perfectly planned plot! It worked immensely well."

"Sir Blake smiled widely, keeping secret the fact that that was not his plot, since a moments farther exploration of it proved it would not have worked anyway.

"Now that the boat was in it's proper place the four men where able to drop the ramp over the side and barley hang on to it as it hit the sand, which they blamed unanamisly on the one eyed cleaner for his studying his nails in the middle of the escapade. Once the one eyed cleaner secured the ramp by himself as punishment for his earlier thoughtlessness for others, the men came marching down one at a time in a very neat row. Captain Toma led Sir Blake who was followed by the thin janitor who stepped ahead of the cleaner because he was still mad at him for his soar fingers.

""Ahem!" This said by Captain Toma as he stopped short at the end of the ramp and just missed getting hit by the three behind him as they waved their arms to keep their balance, lost the fight, and landed one in the sand, one in the water, and one in what had caused the tall thin captain to stop in such an indignant abruptness.

""Help! Help! I do not like eggs!" Screeched the knight as his arms continued to weave around in the air as if he was trying to spell his name.

""Janitor! What did I tell you about tossing your breakfast over board?" Captain Toma demanded.

""Why cap'n it weren't me I swear!" The tall thin crew member spluttered as he climbed back on the ramp after his lovely dip in the ice cold water.

"The captain turned and knocked him on the head, which cause him to loose his grip and take another not quite as lovely as the first swim. "Then whom dropped this hugemungas rotten egg directly in our path?" Toma wanted an answer.

""Why cap'n," Sir Blake paused in his spelling to stroke his unshaven chin. "I do believe it was the giant bird that flew above our ship the other day."

"Captain Toma nodded. "Yes, I believe that be the case. It explains the pleasant landing and the not quite so pleasant smell wafting into my sensitive nostrils!"

"The crew members took their cue and speedily sucked up the egg with their vacuum cleaner that nearly burst from the extra amount of water that joined the extra amount of egg. Even though the vacuum should have known it was stuffed to fullness it apparently wanted more as it gobbled up Sir Blakes arm and it took till the sun had set for the unusually low numbered crew to find their screw driver to take the vacuum apart to free the said arm and then clean up the egg again when the vacuum got sick.

"Because the sun was no longer in the sky the four men returned to the boat, pulled the ramp up, and followed the suns lead in tucking themselves in to bed. The next morning when they awoke they replaced the ramp and came down in the same fashion as the day before seeing as the one eyed cleaner had again studied his finger nails at precisely the right moment to cause the others to drop the ramp and pinch their fingers.

"Only this time Captain Toma spared the others from their dunks the day before by stepping onto the beach and out of the way so they could come down behind him. Once they where all standing in a tidy row on the sand, they swiveled their heads to take in the trees, mountains, and ity bity crystal like pebbles around them.

""What do you suppose is on this island besides potential glass for the window we broke with the vacuum cleaner if we can find enough heat to make it with?" The tall thin janitor pondered his own question.

""I do believe this is the island of Mathamaticaly Geographical Figurense of Great Stater and Poise." Answered Sir Blake.

"The others turned their heads in unison, the crew slightly down cast that Captain Toma had no problem with the sycronization of the action, and blinked on the silent count of one half. Sir Blake turned his head first to the captain, then to the crew, then back to the captain, and stared at the tree in front of him for relief from the eyes. "We called it the Isle of MaGaFaGaSaPa for short when sifting past the articals about it to find the correct homework ingredients we needed to claim the F we felt we rightfully deservedn in that particular subject."

""In that respect we shall call it the Long Winded Isle." Captain Toma dubbed the floating land, not bothering to wait to see if it would object to the fact he made it seem as though it where the islands fault it took a lot of breath to say even it's nickname.

"With all this passed them the four pirates turned to start down the beach. They soon found why the island had such a long name for every mountain and tree had a mathamatically geographical figure that contained both stature and poise. What these words meant non of them knew but they decided that must be what the shapes the mountains and trees impersonated where called since no other reason for the long name being attached to the small island could be conjured up in their minds. They had encompassed the island within an hour and sat down on the beach near their boat to document what they had discovered.

""Sand, trees, rocks, and birds." Captain Toma wrote in the log book. "And now that we are entirely finished with our report, I believe it is time for us to forsake this place even though it has been most enjoyable filling our shoes with sand."

"The crew members and Sir Blake where distraught for they had grown to love the time they had had, but humbly followed the captain back up the ramp into their ship. After reaching the top they pulled the ramp in and waved goodbye to the fading sight of mountains, trees, sand, and birds. The latest mentioned of course being the one that disappeared last for on top of the tallest mountain sat a bird twice the mountains size.

"Days later the crew had reached an average of twelve lumps a day each for their imputance in suggesting that they did not know where they where going. The little man was wiser and kept his mouth closed unless he must answer a question or consume substance to keep his little body moving in at least a half cohorant state. The captain spent the time staring at the floor mostly, which was precisely why they where not actually headed in a perticulare direction, because he knew that if he watched the horizon they would never reach it.

"And so after speeding very directly to no where really for an uncertain period of time the boat came to a screeching halt inches from hitting the object in it's way. It was halted by the little man who accidently looked up and saw the already mentioned object. Captain Toma raised his sneaky eyes and lifted his nose to the air. "And they supposed we would be delayed far to long to catch them."

"Yes indeed, their little boat had been carefully guided by who knows what force and reached their fantasticly snooty arch rivals the Pirates of Eighty Sneers. This name suited them to perfection for there where in fact eighty members aboard the ship who had nothing better to do all day then to practice sneering at each other so that when they might meat a ship to pillage they will get it right and not get lumped on the head by their captain who just loved to reward them in just such a fashion. Was there a connection between his lumping and our dear Captain Toma's lumping? Return to the story and we may just see.

""Ah Toma I under estimated your ability to find your flag and catch up with our so much bigger better and bolder ship."

""Oh yes, smaller simpler and speeder is often the correct course to take when one is trying to reach ones destination on time."

"The captain of the bigger better bolder ship sneered down at our captain standing with one hand behind his back and the eleven fingered hand grasping the spy glass as usual. "We know what trick you have used to reach us this quickly! Everyone knows a watched pot never boils and a watched horizon never comes closer! You cannot fool us into thinking that you had some other brilliant plan hiding in your small skull..."

"The little man, our brave knight, Sir Blake, lifted his head to see the captain above them. "Why cook, if you know the secret, why was it not put into use?"

The captain turned red as a poppy and his face pinched as though he had eaten a sour grape. "Cook! Cook! How dare you call me such a name! I am no cook, I am the great Captain of this ship!"

Sir Blake looked very sad as he turned his eyes to our captain who had turned to face the other direction, unable to meet the eyes of his userpar of grander things any longer without breaking out in some kind of spots in his righteous anger.

""I prepose a race!"

"Eh?" Every sneer on the stolen pirates ship turned on the tall janitor and he almost appeared to shrink down to the size of the one eyed cleaner standing beside him. "Eh what?" The pretend captain inquired.

"Our true captain Toma lifted his spy glass and waved it menacingly at the one of two crew members that had had their brains so theraly scrambled by lumps on the head that they actually wanted to remain with him instead of the new captain, even if it meant sailing on a life boat in the miniature state of the bigger better bolder true ship. The tall janitor zipped his mouth and Captain Toma swished around to face the captain cook. "A race. To the finish line, which consequently is the island of lost treasure. When you loose, you will return my ship!"

""A race it is! And when you loose you will sail away into the horizon and be cursed to forever watch it come so that you never will reach it!"

""A pox on you as well!" Sir Blake shook his fist at the cook as this strange scene came to a close and left both ships moving toward the island side by side. It was not by choice that they where together, but by incident of heading in the same direction. All day they made sure to let each other know this fact as eighty sneers where greeted by four shifty glares.

"On the third day of this venture, every person aboard the two boats had very sore eyes, which is why it is a very good thing in some sorts that a very strange thing happened at this moment to give everyones eyes a rest from the sight of many or few eyes depending on who's view point you're looking from.

"With a sudden enormasly horrific sneeze from the clouds, the ships where pushed apart and set to sailing in opposite directions, neither one headed in the correct direction to reach the destination they had been trying to reach with their most greatest efforts. Everyone was knocked off their feet except the one eyed cleaner who was to busy studying his finger nails to bother to remember it would be considered rude if he was the only one left standing when if anyone could accomplish such a feat it should have been our beloved Captain Toma since he is the true heroic main character of the tale we are most studiously following with undivided attention.

"Since the ships are now no longer together we must choose one to follow, and it only makes sense to race after our tall thin inspirational captain Toma and his rather large boat for the fact it is in deed a life boat.

"The heart breaking news I must confirm is that when the clouds noses where tickled so profoundly well to create the maga sized sneeze, the boat lerched hard enough to knock out a certain one of our pirates when his poor innocent head bumped a little to hard against the railing that just barley caught him before he went diving over it's thin arm. This pirate that is currently laying curled in a restful ball, is our brave soul Sir Blake.

"Captain Toma did of course, when he realized Sir Blake was sleeping on duty, march across the boat to poke him with the spy glass. When Sir Blake did nothing but snore louder for a moment as if to say 'I'm busy! Come back in a few hours!' Captain Toma turned indignantly to his bewildered crew of two. The tall janitor was bewildered for he could not understand how a pirates pathetic attempt at a sneer had so suddenly turned into a rather frightening look cloud that had zipped passed so fast he could not remember why it had been frightening, and the one eyed cleaner was bewildered because he had been certain up to a minute before that he had clipped that hang nail off hours ago.

""One and one is sadly my crew! Come hither to this spot!" Captain Toma stabbed the air near his head to make sure they knew he was serious, and the annoyed air stumbled away to heal itself with a swear of revenge on the careless pirate captain.

"The crew straightened and skittered over to their captain with a 'yessar what be your command for us to most happily oblige?' only stopping short of reaching the spot they where told to come to because a moments hesitation proved the captain hadn't quite been that serious.

"Captain Toma swished to stab the air above Sir Blake, which said invisible thing ran away to join the first injured air and help it plot a way to get back at this most hateful human. "Wake him at once!" The now twice confirmed foe of the air insisted.

"The crew set about trying everything their bean sized brains could work out to wake the insolent little man who dared to sleep at such as time as this in which they where speeding paralessly across the water in precisely the wrong direction for the simple reason that not only was there no one watching where they where going but they where in fact not even thinking of thinking about where they where headed which caused the boat to take advantage of it's unchecked personality and go as fast as it pleased.

"After many futile efforts to wake the curled man the crew turned to their captain and humbly received their lumps for an uncompleted task of great importance. Captain Toma, after bending his over used spy glass back into shape, turned back to the little man and asked the question no one had thought to ask yet.

""Sir Blake! Where has your mind gone to wonder that it will not return to it's proper place even if I where to ask please?"

"Sir Blake sighed deeply in his bliss, a smile proving he was quite happy where he was. "Oh what lovely mountains, even if they have been rather squished from their imperial stature of before by the bird that should have known they where half ways to small to land on."

""Halt boat!" This time Captain Toma recovered his right to be the only one left standing when the vessel instantly stopped. It was of course an instant halt for it did not want to collect it's prize for being so evil when left to do it's own will. Captain Toma turned and pointed with his spy glass. "The Long Winded Island! At once! We must capture that very naughty brain that has ran away from it's master to skip among the hills that where once mountains!"

"At once the boat completed a sixty degree angle turn and sped across the water. When it finally reached the island Captain Toma ordered the ramp lowered and the crew off into the sand with a net to catch the bad mind that was sitting most impishly on it's high and mighty thrown above their heads in the hills.

"It took them till the sun set, for the mind did not want to leave the island for a second time, but when the night's really cool floor length coat fell off it's shoulders to land on the world the mind had difficulty seeing in the darkness that resulted in the lost coat and with that tiny bit of luck the crew snatched it out of the air and returned triumphantly to the boat.

"Sir Blakes mind muttered and waved its hands most insistently but there was nothing more it could do and had to slip back into it's true home. Sir Blake sat up instantly and inquired if it was dinner since he was certain the last meal he had eaten was breakfast.

""Sir Blake, your mind has been very bad! It has cost us precious time with it's escapades across the sand!" Captain Toma scolded the little man. "I am positive you will punish it accordingly.."

"Sir Blake hung his head. "It is hard to do when it tells me such lovely stories of where it has been... but you are right my cap'n! It has been very bad and I shall do my best to ignore it!"

"This of course resulted in an almost useless Sir Blake for the next few days well the air got back at the Captain for stabbing it by pushing their boat in every direction except the one it was supposed to be heading in. When Sir Blake was certain his mind had been punished enough he came to the rescue and shooed the air away.

"Unfortunately the airs parent, the wind, left with it's child and the boat decided it did not feel like moving anywhere without the wind to keep it company. And so our four pirates where in desperate straights, as they where almost certain their bigger better bolder arch rivals the Pirates of Eighty Sneers had by now beaten them to the island of lost treasure.

"Non the less they brought out their ores and Captain Toma kept time as the other three rowed, every one of them loosing weight as they ran back and forth trying to keep the boat headed straight when there was three instead of a helpful four to keep it under control.

"When the boat was completely dizzyfied it finally jerked once to knock everyone off their feet in it's way of getting back at them, and then took off on it's own steam. But of course since it was so dizzy it was not sure where it was going, and consequently nearly collided with the object that seemed to appear out of no where in it's path.

"This object caused all four pirates to peep over the rail, only their eyes showing above it, and practice their wide eyed stares. For there it was. Right there as big as life in all it's glory and though picture many times never quite as brilliant as it was in real life.

""Why cap'n..." Sir Blake breathed for them all, which made it difficult to talk since he was not used to breathing for quite that many people at once. "I do believe that is it."

""Why yes Sir Blake." Captain Toma agreed, taking his breathing responsabiletys back from the little man. "I do believe you are correct."

""But cap'n.." the tall janitor objected, also taking back his proper job and jabbing the one eyed cleaner in the ribs to remind him it wasn't fair to make others do chores so important as breathing for you for to long. "If that is it, then what has happened it it's residence?"

"The tall janitor was correct of course, for one does not usually find stoves floating angrily in the water.

""I do suppose we should ask it. Right after we invite it on board." Captain Toma stood up and cleared his throat. "Oh stove, lovely stove that belongs on my lovely ship, will you join us on our lovely boat that is the spitting image of the bigger better bolder ship only much smaller in it's stature?"

"The stove agreed it would rather sit on dry wood then in the bad waves who where again at their tricks of attempted assassinations. When it was on board it told the whole heart rending tale filled with such woe I must hear warn the witnesses to this tragidy that it will bring tears to your eyes and may even cause you to feel quite sick.

"The truth here unfolds... as the bigger better bolder ship sped off in it's wrong direction the self titled captain stood up with such rage that he had been pushed away by the wind that he ran into the kitchen, grabbed the stove that used to be his dearest bosom friend, and threw it heartlessly into the waves.

"Sir Blake broke down in tears at this cruel act, and Captain Toma patted him on the back. "The cruelty is hard to swallow it is true... but we must continue on our way! If not for other reasons then at least to return this good stove who has served so many to it's home!"

""Yes, oh yes cap'n! We must bring it home!"

"With this unanames vote the boat sped in the direction the stove swore the bigger better bolder ship had not gone. Naturally, after the horrid make believe captain had thrown the stove over board the crew and he had gone into such a state of argument over what should be done to whom for what that they had failed to notice the frightening cloud who had swooped down to have some fun with the ship that it was very mad at for things it had done, things we will leave unstated, in the passed.

"Captain Toma asked a bit of passing wind to spread the word to the cloud that he would be obliged if it did not hurt the ship to much, since it was the very object that meant more to Toma then his spy glass did. The wind sighed and left to carry out it's task, barley catching the added bit that the cloud could do whatever it felt like to the nasty stove dumper on board.

"A few hours later the boat got lost and ended up beached on an island. The four pirates grumbled and complained loudly that if only they had known that the proper name was the lost island of treasure and not the island of lost treasure they would have been there a lot earlier, and then had to argue with a very big giant that it was not their fault they where late. The reason that non of this makes sense of course is that we skipped the fact that the four pirates had gone to sleep the night before and woken up at this very place they have been searching for for the whole tale.

"The giant appeared from no where, as everything does when it does not really fit into the story but wanted a part and was big enough to convince the weaver of tales that it did indeed belong. When the giant had had enough of the boring story it moved out of the way and let our four heroes passed it into the caves.

"It took them a number of minutes before they got lost enough to stumble upon the sparkling treasure, which proved it was indeed not the island of lost treasure or in fact the lost island of treasure but very correctly though in some sorts redundantly named the lost island of lost treasure. Of course this getting lost had taken long enough that by the time they had found what they had been searching for it was quite dark and the four pirates decided together to tuck themselves into bed and dream of what they would do with their new found shiny things and how long it was going to take the bigger better bolder ship to get lost.

"They actually did not have to wait long for just the next morning the bigger better bolder ship had lost its way to the island and the eighty crew members marched straight off the ship with no sign of a sneer anywhere upon their odd faces. Captain Toma demanded why this was so and the eighty pirates explained that the cook had been carried away by the cloud who had gotten the message from the wind and decided he wanted to take his new pet home and of course though the cook objected the cloud was much bigger and stronger and put a leash and collar on him.

""But why the lack of sneers?" Sir Blake was very confused but needant be for long since the cause was very plain. The eighty pirates where so tired of sneering that as soon as their userpar captain had disappeared from sight they had wiped the sneers away and had found the island very fast after that since they had had such trouble figuring out how to make a normal face after sneering so long that they had lost their way and almost crashed into the life boat.

"After that Captain Toma returned to his rightful place as captain of the bigger better bolder ship, the life boat was put to bed in it's rightful place as life boat of the bigger better bolder ship, the stove was sent home to it's rightful place as resident stove of the bigger better bolder ship, and the eighty-four pirates where renamed the Eighty-Three Pirates of the Bigger Better Bolder Brand Newly Re-Constructed Crew of the Bigger Better Bolder Ship Under the Bestest Most Grandest Captain Tomaszewski Zielinski Villanueva. Or just for short, The Pirates, since they where the only pirates within fifty miles of anywhere."