Act I, Scene 5

(lights up on Caroline and Sam sitting at the table upstage. Eddie enters.)

Eddie.

(overly happy)

Guess what, parents??

Caroline, Sam.

(in perfect unison)

What is it, our dear son?

Eddie.

Today was the most excellent day ever! I was cast as the lead in the school musical, voted Homecoming King, named captain of the basketball team, and scheduled yet another date with Lisa, the most excellent girl in school!

Caroline.

(very maternal)

Not too excellent, I hope.

Eddie.

No, mother, she’s not one of those girls. She’s smart, gets straight A’s, she’s pretty, sweet, kind, fun, athletic, popular, captain of the debate team –

Sam.

That might not be a good thing, son!

Caroline, Eddie, Sam.

Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(they all sigh)

Caroline.

Well, it sounds like you’ve got yourself quite a lady there. Why don’t you invite her over for dinner?

Eddie.

Gee, Mom, that’d be swell!

Sam.

Sure would. Hey listen, gang, I’ve got some good news too – I’ve just been promoted at the office!

Caroline, Eddie.

Hooray!

Caroline.

Oh, Sam! That’s wonderful!

Sam.

I’m making so much money now, that in a few years I’ll be able to quit my job and move to New York City!!

(dead silence)

Caroline.

…What?

Sam.

(beat, then)

Just kidding!

Caroline, Eddie, Sam.

Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(they all sigh, and then fall silent)

Stephen.

(to audience)

Is that happy? Huh? Good money, good job, good son, good parents – is that what happy is?

Eddie.

It’s happier than we were.

Stephen.

Pardon?

Eddie.

You heard me!

Stephen.

(confused)

I did… but that mean you heard me…

Eddie.

I did.

Caroline.

We all did.

Sam.

We’re stronger than you.

Stephen.

Excuse me…?

Caroline.

We are happy.

Eddie.

We want you to leave.

Stephen.

I haven’t even –

Sam.

(standing, in a voice that leaves no room for discussion)

I want you to leave.

Stephen.

You do, huh? Wanna see what life would be like without me messing with your head?

Well let me tell you something –

Sam.

We don’t want to hear it.

Stephen.

I don’t care if you don’t want to hear it! You’re gonna listen! I’ve been a part of you – all of you! – for so long! Without me, you won’t even know who you are…!

(Eddie bursts out laughing)

(to Eddie)

What’s so funny?

Eddie.

It’s just… I mean… I know who I am.

Stephen.

Oh really.

Eddie.

(gaining confidence)

Yeah, and it has nothing to do with you.

Stephen.

Alright – fine, then. Fine. Back to the beginning, if that’s how you want it. I’m not here, I don’t exist.

(They all go back to reading the paper, chatting, etc. ignoring him)

Now are you happy?

(he exits)

(the family eats in silence)

Caroline.

So how was your day, Eddie?

Eddie.

It was good.

(silence)

Caroline.

Got any plans for the afternoon?

Eddie.

Homework.

(silence)

Caroline.

What sort of homework?

Eddie.

English.

Caroline.

Do you want any –

Eddie.

No.

(he abruptly leaves the table and exits)

Caroline.

(sighing, to Sam)

I wish he would just let me talk to him…

Sam.

(after a short pause)

Huh?

Caroline.

Oh, not you too…

Sam.

What? No… I was just… thinking…

Caroline.

About what?

Sam.

I can’t remember.

(Caroline doesn’t know how to respond.)

I’m getting old. It’s terrible. Just this morning – at least I think it was this morning – on my way to work, I ran into this guy who knew me, said we went to school together, but I couldn’t remember him at all…

Caroline.

It could have been just a bum trying to a get a few bucks out of you. I wouldn’t worry about it.

Sam.

But he knew my name…

Caroline.

Well, I can’t remember all of my classmates.

Sam.

Or did he? I can’t remember.

Caroline.

Maybe it was a dream.

Sam.

Maybe… it seemed like it.

Caroline.

(changing the subject)

So I noticed as of this morning that you still hadn’t packed for your trip tomorrow.

Sam.

Trip?

Caroline.

For that conference, in New York City.

Sam.

That trip… oh, shit! That trip… you see what I mean, now, right? Can’t remember anything…

Caroline.

It’s a phase. It’ll pass.

Sam.

Yeah. When I die.

Caroline.

(pressing the subject)

I started to pack for you, but I didn’t have time to finish…

Sam.

No, that’s okay, I wouldn’t expect…

Caroline.

And of course I didn’t know exactly what you wanted to take.

Sam.

Anything’s fine, but you didn’t have to –

Caroline.

Nonsense. It was nothing. And I didn’t even finish…

(they fall silent for a moment)

So are you looking forward to the trip?

Sam.

What trip?

(beat)

Oh, that trip. Sure, I guess.

Caroline.

I’m sure you’ll have a nice time.

Sam.

At conferences all day?

Caroline.

It’s a nice city.

Sam.

Nice?

Caroline.

Sure…

Sam.

I guess it will be nice to get out of the office…

Caroline.

Uh-huh.

Sam.

I’m so bored at work nowadays, you know?

Caroline.

Well, sure.

Sam.

The same old thing, day in and day out… It’s so… so…

Caroline.

Monotonous?

Sam.

Yeah. Monotonous.

Caroline.

But you like it, right?

(Sam doesn’t answer)

Deep down you like it, of course. Right?

Sam.

I don’t… I don’t know.

(the lights go down on them and come up on Eddie, downstage and off to the side. He is on the phone.)

Eddie.

I don’t know… should I tell them? …I mean, I don’t know for sure… well, how do you know? …okay, so I know, but should I tell them? …But what if they’re mad? …I don’t know… my mom probably will… I don’t know!! …What should I do? ...

(lights come back over the table. Caroline sits alone, wearing a bathrobe and drinking tea. It is the next morning. Eddie walks over to her.)

Caroline.

Good morning.

Eddie.

Where’s dad?

Caroline.

In New York City.

Eddie.

What?

Caroline.

On a business trip.

Eddie.

I need to talk to him.

Caroline.

What’s the matter?

Eddie.

I can’t tell you.

Caroline.

Why not?

Eddie.

I just can’t! You won’t understand!

Caroline.

Try me.

Eddie.

You won’t.

Caroline.

(hurt)

Well, if you’re willing to wait, he said he’d call…

Eddie.

It’s not the –

(a phone rings)

Caroline.

I’ll bet that’s him now!

Eddie.

It’s not the same!

(Caroline picks up the phone. Lights up on Sam, holding the phone, and Stephen, sitting in a chair at his side.)

Caroline.

Hello?

Sam.

Caroline? Listen, Caroline, I have to tell you something.

Caroline.

Okay.

Sam.

I think I’m going to need to stay here awhile. Something came up. I’m so sorry.

Caroline.

No, no, it’s alright. So when do you expect to be back?

Sam.

I… I, uh…

(he glances at Stephen nervously, then falls into silence)

Caroline.

Sam… when are you going to come home?

(Sam has no answer. Compulsively he hangs up.)

He hung up.

Eddie.

What?

Caroline.

(upset)

I asked him when he was coming home and he hung up…

Eddie.

Why?

Caroline.

(struggling to regain control)

He was probably disconnected… I’ll bet he calls right back.

(she stares at the phone expectantly. Nothing happens)

Well… maybe something came up.

Eddie.

Yeah. Maybe.

(It is obvious at this point that Caroline is upset – she knows what is going on and is torn between anger and understanding.)

(sensing something is wrong)

Mom…?

(as the dialogue between Sam and Stephen is going on, the lights slowly go down on Eddie and Caroline.)

Stephen.

In the end, you know it’s the only way.

Sam.

No it isn’t.

Stephen.

(persistent)

But in the end it’s where you always end up.

Sam.

But that doesn’t make it right.

Stephen.

(still persisting)

But it makes you happy.

Sam.

(passionately)

Happy? Does it?

(the lights on Stephen begin to fade and Sam is left alone on the stage.)

What is happy? A good wife, a normal son? A nice job? Money? I had them. Still wasn’t happy. And here I am with nothing, in love with a – with a thing! An… an idea! (incredulous)

I’m cheating on my wife with an idea! Do I love her? Yes. Do I love him – it? Yes. Was I happy with either one? No.

(a light comes up on Caroline, on the other side of the stage)

Caroline!

Caroline.

I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I’m so confused.

Sam.

So am I.

Caroline.

I don’t know what to do.

Sam.

Me either.

Caroline.

I want you to be happy.

Sam.

I don’t know what that is anymore.

Caroline.

Do you like this?

(gesturing to stage, audience)

This whole thing?

Sam.

It has a name.

Caroline.

(annoyed)

Right – this whatever you want to call it – performing -

Sam.

Stephen.

Caroline.

(taken aback)

Stephen?

Sam.

It’s name is Stephen.

Caroline.

Why Stephen?

Sam.

How should I know? I didn’t name it.

Caroline.

Who did?

Sam.

I don’t know. Someone. Not me.

Caroline.

And he –

Sam.

It.

Caroline.

Right. And it… told you its name was Stephen?

Sam.

Well, sort of.

Caroline.

Sort of?

Sam.

I guess I just… knew.

Caroline.

And you like it?

Sam.

Love it.

Caroline.

It makes you happy?

Sam.

(hesitant)

It does.

Caroline.

Then I know what I have to do.

Sam.

You don’t have to do anything, Caroline…!

Caroline.

What makes you think that you have any say in what I do? What makes you think what I intend to do concerns you at all? What makes you think you’ll even notice?

Sam.

Caroline…

Caroline.

I know who I am… I thought it had something to do with you, but it doesn’t…! It doesn’t! It’s me! Just me! If you’re… “in the cast” too, that’s great, that’s just great, but if you’re not… well… the show must go on.

Sam.

You’re leaving me… that’s not how it’s supposed to end…! Stephen!

Caroline.

Don’t bring him into this!

(Stephen enters from the audience, annoyed)

Stephen.

Now what’s the problem?

Sam.

She wouldn’t do this – she, she wouldn’t leave me!

Caroline.

Who are you to tell me what I would or wouldn’t do?

Stephen.

Now, calm down, both of you…

Sam.

We need to get this fixed. It’s not right.

Stephen.

I’m sorry, I can’t do that.

Sam.

Well, why not?

Stephen.

I’m just the director…

Sam.

Well, then who wrote it?

Stephen.

(beat)

You did.

Sam.

(beat)

(ashamed)

Oh.

Stephen.

(sighing)

Keep going.

(he goes back into the audience)

Sam.

I don’t know… I don’t know how.

(turning to Caroline.)

I don’t know what to say to you anymore… I don’t know what to tell you.

Caroline.

Tell me that I don’t have to go! Tell me there’s another way to end this!

Sam.

But this is where we always end up.

Caroline.

But that doesn’t mean it’s right!

(beat)

With you, Sam, I don’t know what’s real… maybe I liked that at first, but now I don’t. I don’t, and unless you stop me I’m going to walk away! Do you hear me? I’m leaving! You’re alone!

(she waits for an answer, when she doesn’t get one, she turns and walks off the stage)

Sam.

(to Stephen.)

She left.

Stephen.

(from audience)

Keep going.

Sam.

But she left!

Stephen.

(losing patience)

Keep… going…!

Sam.

No. No!

(he moves to walk offstage after Caroline)

Stephen.

You walk off that stage and it’s over! Do you hear me? Over!

(Sam doesn’t answer)

Do you think I can’t replace you? I know a million just like you! A million!

(By this time Sam is off the stage. Stephen runs up to the stage and looks to where Sam has just gone off)

Hey! Are you listening to me? It’s over! Unless you come back right now it all ends! Everything! Do you think I won’t do it? Everything I’ve given you - everything! – I swear, I will take it back. Your costume? Gone! Your script? Gone! Your name above the title? Well, I guess if you don’t want it…

(he turns away from where Sam has gone offstage)

Can we get someone to call the paper, put an ad in? ‘Audition: Middle aged male needed for leading role in hit new play, sure to lead to stardom… call Stephen at…’

(by this time, Sam is back onstage)

Sam.

Alright!! Alright.

Stephen.

I knew you’d see the light.

Sam.

Can we just get on with it?

Stephen.

(with a smile)

Right. Let’s take it from… your line, “Happy? Does it?”

(Sam nods and adjusts clothing, hair, etc, as a spotlight comes up on him and the rest of the stage goes black)

Sam.

(empty)

Happy? Does it? What is happy? A good wife, a normal son? A nice job? Money? I had them. Still wasn’t happy. And here I am with nothing, in love with a – with a thing! An… an idea! I’m cheating on my wife with an idea! Do I love her? Yes. Do I love him – it? Yes. Was I happy with either one?

(hesitant)

No.

(pauses expectantly)

Stephen.

(in the dark)

Keep going!

Sam.

Where’s Caroline? Caroline’s supposed to enter. A light’s supposed to come up on Caroline. Where is she?

Stephen.

She’s gone. Keep going.

Sam.

(confused)

Gone?

Stephen.

Gone! Keep going!

Sam.

(trying to hide his shock)

Right… gone…

(failing)

But why?

(no answer)

Stephen?

(beat)

Stephen? Caroline?

(blackout)

THE END.