tremble

gentle magic infused finger tips that write with a fury after a solid day of confronting you
tense vibrations were welling up and agravating me
i'm sorry i can't, i just can't
ti amo di piu
avert my gaze, suck in my lips (but i wish, no i can't, i need to get my mind off of you)
trembling alone trying to sustain myself, it used to be you comforting me in those arms
i don't want to remember, i know that you remember
harsh bittersweet longing memories that plague me when i shut my eyes or
peer into the dark abyss of yours
i want to tell you everything, why can't i tell you, why bother, as if you care, don't fake it anymore,
haven't you faked it enough?
my intricate intuition sensed it before i gave in to the truth
stunned. lonely. frozen. aching.
you said 'don't let go' remember that? i feel the gathering tears of that day; you said 'don't let go'
you made me believe...
so hypocritical of me, a thousand reasons that i've stated echoing your own
though i allowed myself to believe, i crumpled up like withered petals you pieced together once and now have so daintily crushed
tell me how the most beautiful thing could simply disintigrate
one pricky thorn in the side of our blossoming love
swear that was truly everything?
oh god no, could you, one thought of you and i've lost my entire train of thought
i remember you being there and falling deeper for you every time i stumbled out of the depths of my drama and plunged into your kiss
that day as i stared out at nothing, all the boys that somehow had been part of my life
kept passing by, one after the other
a tragic sideshow of my lack of commitment and my angst
i can only hold onto myself now
and i get it, you know, i get it
i wasn't good enough, too moody, conceited, sarcastic, this bitch quivering to my senses and uncaring i wasn't... HER
you need violet sweet scented flower princesses and picnics and sleeping enchantments
the entire package that i could never supply
i came with too many complications and unsorted instructions
i still can't fathom how we could hold out as long as we did
though in the simplest words you just don't give a shit
honeysuckle, if i was venom why did you hold out so long?
you said 'you're worth the drama' everything you ever uttered like a harsh slap across my face you would never slap me i guess you hit on the equivalent
i get it, so why do i even try?
i'm trembling and i'm contemplating when all day i've wanted to hold you and make you better a failed attempt to reach through to you
you were surrounded by thorny branches and barricades like Sleeping Beauty
i crawled out scraped and defeated and forever lost, what a surprise
and thus my ramblings skid to a halt, bleeding all my frustration in vain
but i'm already humiliated
i can only wonder,
whose kiss are you waiting for?