A.N. This is a story that just came to me. I’m not used to writing romance so forgive me if this doesn’t seem to feel the way it should. I’m planing on making this only two chapters long, but if you guys want more, I may write a sort of ‘prequel’ to it. I may just do that anyway. To show that the main character isn’t all that whinny as she appears in this story. For those of you wondering what happened to Damien, don’t worry, after months of writer’s block, I’m on the third chapter and I know where I’m going now. Chapter three will be up shortly. Well I’ll let you get on to what is truly my first romance story.

Of Jealousy and of Love

Chapter One

I couldn’t believe the nerve of those two. My best friends, in a room, alone together. Behind the door I could hear the faint whisper of them talking. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make out just what they were saying. I banged on the door and put on my happy face. “I better not catch you two making out in there,” I said jokingly, even though that was how I truly felt. I tried opening the door but found it locked. Figures. They wanted their time alone together. I knocked on the door again and made sure I looked completely amused at what I knew I would find when Clyde finally opened the door. After all, I’m the type of person that laughs off her worries.

“Just a second, I have to put on my pants!” Clyde yelled through the door, opening it immediately after he said it, with a smile on his face. I looked behind him to see Gabby laying at the end of his bed, feet dangling off the edge and a look on her face that she had been crying and only recently started laughing again. Of course, when she had stormed into the house she went straight to his room and slammed the door, yelling at me that I’d better be glad she and I were as good of friends as we were.

I guess I should explain myself. My friends and I came over to Clyde’s house to film a movie I need to make for a school project. It was the last day I had the camera to film and we still had to rush over to my house to do some major filming. Gabby and Clyde were the main characters in this short and my two other friends, Tess and Valerie, were there to help me. We only had an hour to film the rest of the movie. Naturally I was stressed. Also added to the fact that Gabby and Clyde were flirting with each other like they were the only two people on the planet. Of course Gabby knew I had a crush on Clyde and she also knew it was a major ‘no no’ to go out with your friends crush. Unfortunately Gabby is the biggest flirt I have ever known.

So now that we have that explained, I can go on with the story.

“Clyde, your sister’s here so can we go now?” I asked impatiently.

“Yea, I just need to get changed. We’ll be down in a few,” Clyde said before shutting the door. I fought the urge to cry and went down stairs to where Tess and Valerie were waiting, just as impatiently as I was.

I sat in my car, with the door wide open and my leg hung out in a forced, relaxed posture. To this day, I wonder how tense I really must have looked. Tess and Valerie were going to drive to my house using Tess’ car. It was sort of an unspoken agreement that they would leave me to deal with Gabby and Clyde as I saw fit.

The minutes past by and my teeth hurt because I was grinding them so hard. It did not take that long to change into clothes that they really didn’t need to change into. I knew the moment Clyde said that, he was just buying time so he could talk to Gabby a bit longer in private. I looked at the clock and realized that we really didn’t have enough time to film today. As soon as we got to my house we would have to get back into the car and drive Gabby to her dance recital at the school. I gritted my teeth harder and pressed down on the horn.

“They really shouldn’t be taking this long,” Valerie said, folding her arms and looking angrily at the offending house. I shook my head.

“They’re not changing. They’re probably up there flirting their happy asses off,” I spit the words out as if I were throwing a punch instead. I took a deep breath and rested my hands on the wheel of the car. “We don’t have time to finish today.”

Tess gave an understanding look to me. Valerie gave me a look of disbelief, “Wha- Why?”

“We just don’t have time. That’s all,” I sighed as I admitted to the defeat. There went my grade. Flushed down the toilet like the piece of shit it probably was.

Clyde and Gabby finally came out (in the same clothes as earlier, I might add) hand in hand and walked over to my car. Gabby took one look at me and I think she knew she was in trouble. Clyde too.

“So what’re we doing?” Valerie asked.

“I’m going to drop Gabby off at the school and then we can go back to my house and hang out if you want,” I said, dragging my foot inside the car and putting on my seatbelt. Gabby gave me a dismayed look.

“I’m sorry we took so long, b-“

I interrupted, “Don’t be, we really didn’t have time to start with.”

Tess and Valerie nodded and headed over to Tess’ car. Clyde and Gabby got into the back seat of mine. That was a new development. I looked at the both of them through my rearview mirror. His arm around her shoulder as she leaned on him.

To be honest it made me sick.

The drive to the high school was silent. An uncomfortable silence and one that made me angrier by the second. It was then I realized how jealous of my friend I truly was. She was beautiful, happy and caring. In art I drew a picture of her because she was the only source I had. The boys in the class would pass by, look at the picture and go “She’s hot, do you know her?” At first I found only amusement in those comments. I was happy for her. She was my friend and I was happy that guys thought she was pretty. But at that moment, in the car, I couldn’t stand it. She had gotten the guy I was working so hard to get myself. It’s not easy for me to get a guy. All the guy friends I have are just that. Guy friends, people I can joke around with and talk to. No physical attraction whatsoever. That’s all that guys seem to see me as. Just a friend.

After I dropped her off at the school, and wished her luck, Clyde climbed into the front seat of the car. Tess and Valerie, who were tailing me pulled up next to me and waved at Gabby, wishing her luck. I looked over at Valerie and used sign language to tell her I was going to my house. She nodded and told Tess.

We barely got back onto the road when Clyde broke the silence, “If you need to blame anyone about this blame me.” I didn’t know if he was talking about the film or the relationship he was developing with Gabby.

I shrugged, biting back my tears; “I don’t blame you Clyde. It’s really no one’s fault.”

I could feel him glare at me but didn’t turn to face him. I had just recently gotten my driver’s license and I wasn’t that comfortable on the road. Also, whenever I’m upset, I pay more attention to the task at hand, than to throw myself into misery.

“Don’t do this,” he said quietly. “Don’t lay blame on no one. I’ve known people who have done that but they secretly blamed themselves. I’ve had friends die that way.” I could hear his voice crack a little and knew he was on the verge of tears. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want him to cry.

“I’m not blaming myself. You don’t have to worry about my dying that way.” I gave him an encouraging smile. One that didn’t pass over for him, even if I did mean it. I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I didn’t even bother wiping it away.

“You know, you’re terrible at hiding your emotions,” he said calmly.

“I’m not trying to hide my emotions. I was never good at it so I gave that up a long time ago.”

He looked away for a moment, before looking back, “Tell me what’s really wrong. I don’t want to hear that’s it’s about the movie. Just tell me why you’re so angry.”

I huffed a laugh and pursed my lips together before asking him, “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes I do,” his voice was steady.

“Alright,” I was quiet for a moment. It’s hard telling someone these types of things, but I was determined to tell him. “I’m jealous of Gabby. I’m jealous that you pay more attention to her than you do to me.”

In other words, I like you Clyde will you go out with me and forget about Gabby? I thought silently to myself.

He was silent for a moment and I noticed tears were running freely down my face. A car pulled out in front of me and I pushed on the break gently so I wouldn’t hit the idiot and so the car tailgating me wouldn’t hit me. I was farther down the road, Tess’ car was not to far behind me, following me to my house.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now. I think we should wait until we get to your house,” he said.

I nodded my head and the rest of the drive was silent. It was then I noticed that the radio wasn’t on as it usually was when I drove. I was glad, I didn’t want it on. As I drove, I wondered what he was thinking.