Insanity

Her breath shimmered on the window. Amidst the loud yells and laughter of her peers, she sat quietly by the window. Looking outside, she saw her neighborhood wiz by. The bus’ engine was rattling her teeth. She closed her eyes and blocked off all sound, absorbed in her thoughts. She really didn’t mind the sound. How hard she had worked to get here. To ride the ‘normal’ bus. If only they knew…

Pain… It hurt her. He was hurting her. Not physically, but mentally. She knew that. Why didn’t she say no? She hated herself for giving in. He knew she would, sooner or later. Why hadn’t her mother listened to her sister? Why didn’t anyone believe her…? Them? She knew this pain was going to stay, but that didn’t stop her from ignoring it. Lies and pain makes the world go round….

Years later… She couldn’t remember exactly what he did to her… All she knew was that he did it… And the pain was unimaginable. She tried to remember, but she couldn’t. Years of suppressing memories had built a thick wall in her mind. Her shrink was nice, and she helped her a lot. She loved her dad and step-mom more than anything, which was why she couldn’t, no, why she wouldn’t die. Besides, she wanted to know what happens next.

A tear ran down her cheek. A smile walked across her face. She sighed, blinking away the want to cry. It was her stop next. Gathering up all her crap, she stood and swayed, making ready to step off. “See you tomorrow, Natalie!” some one called after her. She looked over her shoulder, and smiled. It was a sad smile, but that was her norm.

Standing on the side of the road, she waved to her friends. Her smile quivered, and she ran for home. Just inside the door, a tear dripped from her chin. He had caused her so much pain, and the pain had made her close herself off, and it made her insane, but because of her insanity, she had friends, and those friends cared for her. She was blessed with a curse, and cursed with blessings. But she was happy and that’s all that matters.