If Countries Were People Series

The First World War: Fighting is Wrong

A/N-Thank you to everyone who reviewed this story! I never thought it would be so popular (lol) Well, here's the second installment, WW1...it is set a while before Iraq, DUHHHH, I PROMISE that you will find out about the UK/France love match, and whatever maybe in 2 or 3 chapters... next is world war 2, then the cold war, and into our generation :) soo...without further time wasting, here's the story :)

Once upon a time there were about 180 people, who all went to the same school. This was at a time where tensions between the people of the school were very high. On this particular day, things would get very much far worse...

It all started when Austria was having a parade of her barbies. She had her friends bring their barbies to be the spectators, and to be people in the parade. The parade was to celebrate the fact that she had just gotten a brand new pair of barbies, the Sofia and Franz Ferdinand Barbie and Ken. She had them in a motorcar parade, surrounded by police barbies, guard kens, and parade barbies. Suddenly, the unthinkable happened...

Serbia, Austria's little brother, who lived in the same house as Austria, came up to the car and shot the Barbie and Ken dolls with a watergun full of permanent black paint. Utter chaos ensued, as none of Austria's friends wanted their barbies being ruined. Austria drove the motorcade back to her house, where her mom assured her that Serbia wouldn't try to ruin the dolls again. Luckily, the barbie and ken had only received minor paint wounds, which were on their clothes and could easily be healed. Nervously, Austria began to drive the motorcade car toward her friend's house, where they planned to have cookies after the parade. Suddenly, Serbia appeared again and this time shot the dolls with paint so bad that they were completely ruined.

"Sofia, no! Franz Ferdinand!" Austria screamed and began to cry. The next day, she gave Serbia an ultimatum: "You'd better apologize and buy me new dolls, or else."

Naturally, Serbia refused. Austria couldn't do anything to back up her threat, as she wasn't much of a fighter. So, the day after the ultimatum, she asked some of her friends for help. One of her allies, Germany, saw that Serbia was not going to back down, and could very well attempt more pranks and attacks at his sister. Germany agreed to help his friend Austria.

So the next day Germany decided to beat Serbia up. However, when he phoned Serbia to tell him this, Serbia told him that Russia was involved now. Because of the recent friendship packs that had been made, now that Russia was in the fight, France was too. So we now had a fight between Russia, France, Serbia, vs. Austria and Germany.

Germany, who was by far the strongest person out of the five, decided to eliminate the closest and easiest target first, who was France. He decided to attack France's clubhouse, called Paris, by sneaking through the back yard of Belgium. Belgium lived beside Gernamy, and France lived beside Belgium. So, early in the morning, Germany began to sneak through the back yard of Belgium. Suddenly, a massive spotlight illumated the entire yard, catching Germany!

"Freeze, buster!" Belguim yelled. He pointed the spotlight at Germany's eyes, who then couldn't see. "What are you doing in my back yard?"

"Go back to sleep, Belgium, I'm just going to attack Paris."

Belgium gasped. "But that is the headquarters of France! If you destroy that, she'll be powerless, and yours to command!"

"Duhhhh...exactly!"

"Well I must tell her at once! Fraaa-Ow!" Belgium began to scream, but Germany threw a rock at Belgium's head. Belgium's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he wobbled and fell. The skinny, short, brown haired boy lay unconscious on the grass beside the fallen spotlight. Germany trotted over to it and flicked it off, hoping that no one heard Belgium. Germany continued through the yard, toward the unsuspecting Paris.

"Lalalalalala... Bonjour, you are a very nice looking Barbie, I must do say!" France had slept in her clubhouse the night before, and was up early playing with her barbies. Currently, French Barbie was being wooed by French Ken.

"Oh, charming, dashing French Ken, I do sooo adore you! Let us kiss.... en Frencais!!" France then proceeded to make the ken and barbie...er...French Kiss...

Suddenly, France heard a rustling in the bushes at the foot of the tree, where Paris was built! Rushing to the window, she saw a dark figure in the early morning light. He was crouched and was heading toward the rope ladder steadily.

"Qui est la? Who is there?" France yelled. The figure froze.

"Uh...Guten Tag, France. It's Germany.”

France audibly gasped. "Audible Gaspe! But we are at war! Why would you come to visit me as we are in a not at peace agreement?"

"Uh.... I have cookies?"

"Oh, alrigh- wait! You have come to seize Paris! Ah, mais non! Everyone, to the outskirts of Paris, for this historic battle!"

And true to the word, a historic battle ensued. France sent her Barbies and Kens by any means necessary to the front lines, to combattle with the powerful force of Germany. Even Barbie Taxis were used to send them to fight!

"Hiya!" France grabbed a Barbie out of a taxi and chucked it at Germany, who swiped the flying doll away with his arm. "Oh, non!" She grabbed a Ken out of a schoolbus and threw it at Germany, who deflected it, now getting bored. "Mais, non!" She grabbed at a Barbie and Ken in a dump truck, then thinking better, picked up the dumptruck. Germany's eyes grew wide with shock, and he shook his head in disbelief.

"You can lift that!?"

France threw it at Germany's head, and Germany's eyes rolled and he fell to the ground. Not wasting any time, France pulled out her cordless phone (which is the old crappy technology that birthed the cell phone), a large black rectangular box with a massive antenna, and flipped it open dramatically. She dialed her friend's phone number with the rediculously large buttons... 555-3645 (That's 555-ENGL) And heard the phone ring.

"I do say...hello?"

"England!"

"Wot wot? Is it tea time already?"

"Uh... no I don't think so..."

"Then why do you bother me like a boot of a bobby cheery-o?"

"I don't know what you just said, but Germany just attacked me!"

"Oh? And why should I care? We just finished fighting over Canada, and before that, concluded the Hundred Minute War!"

"England! Germany attacked me at Paris....Paris! How could he have gotten to Paris?"

"Uh... by walking?"

"NO! By cutting through the backyard of Belgium, who is neutral in our conflict!"

"By jove! That fiend! He attacked an innocent nation! That somehow could be seen as violating our Queen, which is an unspeakable act! Germany violated the Queen! This heinous act must not go unpunished! I formally declare war on Germany!"

And with that, England hung up. Two seconds later, seven paper airplanes landed on France's lawn, each with the RPAF (Royal Paper Airplane Force) Insignias on their wings. They took off again, and began to pelt Germany, who was just getting up, like bees.

"Aww, now England's in this too! I'm clearly defeated here, though narrowly, and someday I vow, I will conquer Paris! And you, France!" And with that, Germany swooped his cape and whooshed away.

"Whoooooooshhhh"

The next day, in email, what the people used before MSN was invented, many people communicated that they were declaring war on this person, and that person, and so on. It was Canada (of course) who finally sent a forwarded email to everyone, saying...

"Gentlemen...we are in the midst of a World War. The First World War...."

"Canada, you can't talk all dramatic like that, shut up!" The United States of America hissed at his computer screen.

And so the war ensued... now referred to as the bloodiest war in modern history, many, many bobos and boo boos and broken barbies and toys and crumpled paper airplanes came as a result. This war was known for its brutal fare of warring... the trench warfare. The people would dig a hole in their backyard lawns, much to the dismay of their parents, and throw rocks at each other's holes, until one would snatch a hole and drive the other person further back into their backyard. The conditions were horrible- missed snacktime, gross bugs everywhere, dirty clothing, and no nappytime, resulting in grouchy children.

Finally, Germany was beaten back to his very own backyard. Within minutes, he surrendured. The worst war that any of the children could remember was finally over!

"Now, Germany- you have been brought before the council of me and my friends, because we want to punish you for what you've done...I mean...uh... your awful war crimes." England stood with several others in France's second clubhouse, Versailles.

"I was just trying to help out Austria!" Germany defended.

"Shut up! You were openly violating the queen, and declaring war on freedom! The only punishment for this horrible crime, is that you have to destroy your toys, eat more and get fat, and uh..." England intended for Germany never again to be strong.

"Anything else, guys?" He whispered to the others.

"Make him beg for your forgiveness!" The United States of America responded.

"Now, now, let's be reasonable- I think that England and Germany should shake hands-"

"SHUT UP CANADA!" Everyone said at once. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. England rushed over and opened it. A tall woman was standing there, smiling.

"Hello, children! I am the new teacher at your school! My name is Ms. League of Nations. I help people solve problems to achieve a greater peace and unity!"

Everyone smiled and invited the new teacher into the clubhouse.

And so Germany was forced by the point of a sharp stick to sign the Versailles Treaty, a bunch of promises hastily written by England on his tea napkin. The Versailles napkin clearly stated that Germany would give his lunch money to the people he fought against, destroy his toys, and eat more to make him fat and not strong. Germany was rather angry about this, but he had been beaten fair and square- he had no choice. What great event could this lead too?

Now Children: The moral of this story is 'Do not Fight', as fighting is pointless and stupid. You see how one little fight between Serbia and his sister, Austria, erupted into a massive battle between everyone! Fighting is just wrong.