Happily Ever After

Spring Break

"There is something seriously disturbing about this."

I half-shrugged. "To each his own, I guess."

We were in the park and Kandy was taking pictures of a squirrel on her cell phone.

She had named him Nutty ("She's the nutty one," Jay had mumbled under his breath a week ago).

She had also left a bowl of orange juice out for him in case he ever got thirsty.

The squirrel is not domesticated.

In the far-off field, Beau had just returned with an armful of skinny twigs in all shapes and sizes. He dumped them into the ever-growing pile next to Kandy, who was attempting to build a hut for her new pet. The first day that she excitedly informed me about this idea, I thought she was joking. The second day, when she starting actually collecting the materials, I was sure she would give up after an hour. But I was wrong. Very wrong. Kandy came strolling into the park on the third day clutching print-outs with instructions that she had found online. And now, two days later, she was constructing it at the base of an old tree with a wide base.

There was another tree, a younger, skinnier one nearby.

And in this tree, was John.

"I'm stuck!" he shouted pitifully over at us. "Someone call the fire department! Something's caught onto my boxers! There's fabric in places that fabric should not be!"

Ignoring this, Jayden yawned and buried his face into the crook of my neck. He had a late show last night, but had chosen to wake up early (eleven o'clock in the morning is not early, in my personal opinion) to participate in a Disney Fairytale play a local volunteer group had organized for the neighborhood kids. He is going to assume the role of Cinderella in, well, Cinderella after Aladdin is finished on stage. "How long will it take before she starts designing clothes for him?" he asks, wrapping his arms around me and pretending to snooze off.

"She's got half a pair of suspenders constructed already in her room."

"Oh God." His muffled groan tickled my neck. "Someone fetch the straightjacket. We'll add glittering rhinestones as bait, so once she gets close enough, we could shove her in there without much difficulty. You know how the crazies are usually in denial."

I tilted my head to the side and squinted at the little animal gnawing on an acorn. "He is kind of cute."

"Should I be worried that you're not looking at me when you're saying that, Princess?" he murmured drowsily.

"Yep. He's using that bushy tail to seduce me right in front of you, and you don't even notice." I pointed at Nutty (oh no, I'm actually calling him by his name) as he dashed up a tree. "That's a dance of seduction right there. It's making me feel all tingly inside."

Jay half-heartedly glanced at where I was pointing (he did not want to acknowledge its existence) and laid his head on my shoulder. "We'll need to go on Jerry Springer. You'll be the loose girlfriend blinded by pity. He'll be the buck-toothed, Redneck product of an incestuous relationship. I'll be the awesome guy who gets the standing ovation. Then we all cage-fight, where I'll have to rip my shirt off and all the fine middle-age ladies will faint. The ambulance will have to come afterwards, and I'll get to take a picture next to the sweet-ass siren. Then on the way home, I make him into roadkill. Happily ever after. "

I took his hand in mine and softly patted it. "I don't think Cinderella should adopt that kind of attitude."

"I think you should be glad that she didn't end up being some drug addict with three baby daddies."

I stared at him, aghast.

Jayden shrugged and squeezed me tighter. "I'm just stating my hypothesis here. Under that type of stress, I half-expected her to be snorting cocaine off toilet seats. If not that, then she should've been burying her nostril into a bottle of bleach."

"Did you forget the part where she finds her true love and gets whisked off her feet by the prince?"

"I didn't get that, either. I'm pretty skeptical that she had some type of magical shoe size that no other woman in the country did. So much for love. I know we only met last night, but if you can squeeze your bunions into this tiny-ass shoe, you get to sleep with Daddy tonight. " He placed a kiss on my temple. "If you ask me, our story should replace Cinderella's. It's much more interesting."

"I doubt someone would actually sit through a retelling of how we met."

"You'd be surprised."

"Jayden?" Lily, the event organizer, walked up to us with her clipboard in hand. Just then, a loud burst of cheers and clapping indicated the ending of Aladdin. "Would you like to get ready to put on your skit?"

"Yeah. I'll be ready in a few." He languidly detached himself from me and dug around in a large white, plastic bag. "Prepare yourself for an Oscar-worthy performance, baby." Jayden pulled out a sparkly, stiff pink dress and held it against his body. "Oh yeah… Skimpy, just the way I wanted it to be. This oughta get their attention."

The restless kids now turned their attention towards John up in the tree as they waited for Cinderella to start. They giggled behind their hands and pointed and called out names. He was shooing away a mother bird that was trying to protect her nest. "Go away! I'm not a frickin' koala! I'm a human being, and I've got a barbecue grill at home, so you better watch yourself!"

Jayden tugged his dark T-shirt up over his head. He stood half-naked as he twisted and turned the dress, failing to understand where it begun and ended. I got up to my feet and helped him shimmy into the outfit.

"I can see your boobies!" a little boy giggled at our feet before running off.

"Savor the moment, buddy. This is the only pair you'll ever see in your life," Jay called out after him.

"I don't remember Cinderella being a bully…" I said in a sing-song voice.

"Didn't she make that chubby rat her man-bitch?"

I sighed and placed my hands on his shoulders. "You're killing my childhood dream here."

He chuckled lightly and kissed me full on the mouth. "Sorry, Princess. I'll make it up to you later when I slip out of this dress." Bending down, Jayden whispered into my ear, "I'm not wearing a bra."

"I can assure you that I've got goosebumps from the anticipation." I jokingly rolled my eyes as he started nibbling on my ear. It's always been a fantasy of mine to get munched on by a man in drag. Hey, as long as it's happening, I might as well enjoy it.

"Dude, let's go." Adam was a few feet away from us, decked out in his tight Prince Charming costume. "The sooner this is over with, the better."

Turning from Jayden, I was met with the image of Adam wearing a spandex outfit. "Nice legs," I teased. I held up my camera and prepared to take a picture.

Adam hid his face behind the baby blue cape. "I don't want my kids to see this!"

"At least you're the guy." Jayden pecked me on the cheek and ran towards the direction of the makeshift stage. "This one's for you, baby."

I gave him a thumbs-up and followed at a slower pace to where the audience of little kids was sitting. Because I came at a later time, I had to take a seat in the back. As Lily started to introduce them, I cheered along with everyone else. Kandy and Beau sat cross-legged next to me seconds later. "How's the hut going?" I asked.

"Extremely well," replied Kandy, dusting her hands off on her faded jeans. "I think Nutty's gonna love it. Right, Beau?"

The Southern boy mouthed no, but simultaneously nodded in false agreement. "He's gonna be the coolest squirrel on the block."

Kandy instantly beamed. Beau joined in her aura of happiness and wrapped a tan arm around her shoulder. Even from this distance, I could hear the hiss that narrowly escaped from between John's clenched teeth up in the tree. I decided not to press upon the matter for fear of more cute moments like this that would enrage John. I wouldn't say that this love triangle has put a heavy strain on John and Beau's friendship because in Kandy's absence, they got along perfectly fine. But whenever she came around, their competitive side would emerge. As far as I knew, there were only silent glares and silly pranks that resulted from this. Luckily, there were no harsh fights of any kind. It was comforting to know that although they share affections for the same girl, they weren't allowing it to get in the way of their friendship.

"Oh dear, it's midnight!" Jayden was pretending to fret on stage. He paced around in his obnoxiously pink dress, sashaying from side to side.

I smiled, watching him. I didn't know what to expect when he and I first became a couple. Well, I never know what to expect from him. But I'll be the first to inform you that despite the old rumors, Jayden's not some super-slick womanizer nor is he a heartless seeker of one-night-stands. In fact, he's always there for me—during sad times, happy times, and stressful times. If laughter is indeed the best medicine, then Jayden's a certified M.D. He would never admit it, but he doesn't mind doing half the things he so openly protests to doing with me, whether it be watching chick flicks ("No, Rose," he'd choke out in a sob during the ending of Titanic), dancing to 90s pop music ("Tell me why I never want to hear you say…I want it that way," he belted out in my room), allowing me to give him a facial ("Hot damn, I've never felt so relaxed. These are cucumbers, you say?"), or most of all…watching The Oprah Winfrey Show in the afternoons ("Oh my God, it's like she's speaking directly to me. You preach it, girl!").

"It fits!" Adam gasped in front of the audience. He was kneeling down in front of Jayden and holding an abnormally large bunny slipper in his hand.

I love the way Jayden always reminds me that he's constantly thinking of me. I love how he never misses a chance to tell or show his love for me. I love his obsession for reciting cheesy lines from soap operas. But mostly, I just love him.

I wish I could say more, but I think I've been gushing enough about him over these past five months we've been together. There's nothing left to say except…Thank you, Mrs. Gambino for giving me my first ever detention in the beginning of the year.

"Oh, I love you, too, Prince Charming," Jayden shrilly squealed and jumped on Adam. The two of them, still in their costumes, fell to the ground and started rolling around, pink fabric flying in the air. The children shrieked with laughter, and someone's dad let out a wolf-whistle. In the front row, tiny Jack in his oversized black t-shirt sprang to his feet, hollering, "Dat's wut I'm talkin' 'bout!" Ken and Erica soon followed, getting up to their feet and applauding. Josh was doubled over in amusement, and next to him, Penelope tilted her head back and laughed with delight. Even John in his tree was cheering.

Jayden untangled himself from his best friend just in time to wink at me from afar. I blew him a kiss in return.

"And so they lived happily ever after," Lily narrated into the microphone.

a/n: it's finally over! i love happy endings. the sort-of sequel will up soon! i can't decide whether i want that or kandy's one-shot to be uploaded first. chap. 1 of the sequel is done & ready while the one-shot is half-finished. hmm. ANYWAYS, i really hope you enjoyed the story. thanks for all the amazing reviews! keep me on alert (if you don't already) so that you know when i post the sequel. thank you so much to everybody!

anon replies:

leader of the peanut rebels: first, aww thank you! no, kandy, beau, & john won't get a real sequel of their own. they'll get a one-shot, but that's about it. ): i feel like if i write a sequel solely about them, it'll be too similiar to this story. but they will show up from time to time in jack's sequel! thanks for all the compliments (you're making me blush!) & thanks for the review, too!! xoxo

Destination: for some reason, FP didn't alert me of your review. or they did & i accidentally deleted it with my college spam mail. i was manually going through my reviews on here to check for the anonymous ones when i was like, "hey, i don't remember this one!" well, sorry for the late reply! anyways, have you srsly been reading this since day one?! it's been 3 yrs, buddy; can you believe that!? yep, it's been one huge adventure with a few bumps here and there. but i'm glad you stayed along for the ride the whole time! thanks for being a loyal reader & i hope you'll continue reading other stuff i post up!! xoxo