Hey, this started out as an assignment in Creative Writing class. It's about getting into trouble with a very untrustworthy boyfriend as your only compadre. This actually happened to me in October, and eight days later I met the guy who is my current boyfriend, the line about bravery is about him but doesn't have to be.

The names of the teachers were originally in but had to be taken out for obvious reasons. Mrs. R's the Dean, Father P's the principal (Catholic school), and Mr. H is the assistant principal.

Fear Before Flight

These things are scared

a piccoloist playing Firebrand alone

an unlocked locker, valuables inside

knees shaking in anticipation down the hall

These things are scared

your sweatpants ready to come off

and my paisley skirt that’s not

abandoned squares of Astroturf

underneath the stairs

These things are scared

hands shaking wanting to be left alone

wanting to hold nothing

being forced to anyway

These things are scared

a door creaking open

our dishevelled bodies trembling

in that tiny space

sneakers barely visible to our eyes

my stomach at the sound

of an accusatory voice

These things are scared

your mumbling voice unable to respond

my tear falling accompanied by a stuttered “sorry”

heeled shoes nearly tripping up the stairs

legs walking twice as fast

in an attempt to escape

the railing of the Fieldhouse balcony

not high enough to help me flee

These things are scared

shoulders shivering

on a couch in the Dean’s office

my stomach in each rush knowing

that Mrs. R and Father P weren’t there

my voice making its

pleas and apologies before Mr. H

a pen with no ink

unable to write vile epithets

on bathroom walls

your car as it drove away

without a word of goodbye

a cell phone message with some lame excuse

a mind not knowing

how to forgive cowardice

wishing for bravery

while trying to repair a fragile reputation

these things are scared

(March 21st, 2006)