Part 13/13:

In an unlucky turn of events, the 3 of us waited for my mom to pick us up for 4000 hours, which was the rest of our summer, and also a lot more. While we were there, we talked to Plaid, who was like

"You boys learned a lesson, you know." and we were like

"You're dead." but she just wouldn't learn.

"All my life I've lived with being a burn victim, and all my life I've lived with the torture brought on by you kids and also Jeff, but mostly Jeff. I just kept thinking about his moustache, and that greasy mullet, and I was like

'Wow. Jeff is a hottie. Too bad he's dead.' so I killed myself to be with him, and then you sent his soul away."

We felt sorry for Plaid, we really did. Except not. She left us with one final piece of knowledge that we really didn't care about...

"I was never back talked. I was always yelled at infront of my face... But why? Back talking is better, I guess. Because all the lies clump up on your back, and turn into wings of sorrow which you can gracefully fly upon. You also get a flute."

In the end, it turns out that for true love to really be true, there can never be a mutual agreement, and they must always be apart. At least for a hunter like Plaid.

Mom finally came to pick us up, and she said

"You boys get in here before I kill you!" and we did, because we value our lives, seeing as the after life sucks so bad.

When I got back, I found out my math teacher, Professor Jynkel died. The paramedics had tried to save him...

"Hang on, and don't die in your own way! Die uniquely apart from yourself!" but that phrase pushed him over the edge. He loved his life, and he didn't want it to be controlled by originality, because he was so original he died the same. He died the same in his own way.

During his freakin' short life, he was always busy converting fractions into wholes. That was his thing, and it made the kids happy... But in the end, he converted my whole heart into a fraction of one.

And that's the story of love and loss and kids across the nation bearing arms to fight against the pedophiliac overlord tree monster named Jeff, followed for eternity by the unrestful, lustful, suicidal soul known forever as Plaid. Goodbye.