Prologue

My grandfather, perhaps the only family member who might’ve understood me, once told me that everything in life has already happened, that what will come to pass already has. There’s no such thing as free will, or as choice. But, at the same time, we have to pretend that we can choose, and that we have options. We have to live as though free will exists. The thing is, if we live knowing that what’s to come has already passed, life is harder, sadder, more unbearable.

At the time, I was just a kid, and I figured that maybe the old man was simply rambling to his beloved granddaughter. I didn’t give what he said much thought till I was older. And I started to wonder…if everything’s already happened, then why should I pretend to have free will? What would it matter? What would happen if I decided to choose a different path then what’s been preordained? Or is that change of heart already part of history? I just didn’t know. I wanted to sit down and talk about it more with my grandfather, to ask what he meant exactly. After all, normal people don’t tell you these kind of things. Sadly, he passed away some time after I left home.

Perhaps this is his way of telling me to find my answer, whatever it may be. Is nothing in life in my control? Or am I the mistress of my own fate?

I suppose I’ll just have to go and find out, won’t I?