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Halloween 2002
7th Grade
North Minneapolis
"I can't do it," I said. Me, Jenny, and Monica were walking back from Creekview to check in with Monica's mom. The current situation was this: I lived in Suburbia temporarily and me and my "boyfriend" Brad were on a hiatus. Well, a hiatus from staring at each other and giggling anyways.
"Come on, this is the perfect night," Monica said. The suggestion was that I kiss Brad. Before this we had a hard enough time hugging each other. Typical middle school romances. I was nervous beyond all belief even thinking about it, but I know I wanted to do it.
"I can't," I insisted. This was getting ridiculous. We were almost to Monica's house and I knew they wouldn't let it go. "Fine," I said. I think a few neighbors considered calling the police after the two of them shreiked in delight. I think I almost threw up.
At Monica's house I was yelled at for having my shoes untied.
"You're mom is so weird," I said as we headed down 49th back towards Creekview.
"I know, but just ignore her. Let's find Brad." We had left them at Creekview which was the community park & rec center connected to our school, Olson Middle School. I looked around for Brad and his posse of the idiots he called friends. No where in sight.
"Hmm..." said Jenny.
"Brad!" I yelled across the mini-pond before us.
No answer.
"Where are you guys?!"
"Over here!" I heard someone say; Adam, maybe, and saw a group of three guys standing be the bridge that crossed Shingle Creek. We walked around to the other side and I tried to be careful not to run or fall or show any signs I had a rick up my sleeve. Earlier in the evening I had to get Brad to come trick or treating with us by giving him a hug. And I giggled. Now, looking back, this night felt very juvenille.
It was about 7:30 when we crossed the bridge. Half-an-hour before I had to execute my plan and get back home. We trick-or-treated a while longer and everytime I looked over at Monica or Jenny we started giggling.
"Brad, Ashley has to talk to you," said Monica. We were about to cross from one side of 49th and Logan to the other. She shoved me in his general direction and deliberatley held Nathan, Adam, and Jenny back.
"Do you really have to talk to me?"
"Well, sort of." I looked behind me and Monica she gave me her innocent grin while Jenny silently giggled.
"What?"
This was a very difficult conversation because I didn't know what to say. I was trembling all over. This went on for a whole nother block. Me and Brad talking about our "relationship." Do you still like me? I knew the answer, but I just wanted to get to the end of the block so I could get this over with and go home.
At 50th and Logan, I stopped and stood under the giant maple tree at the corner house. Mine and Brad's posse were standing aorund like they weren't there. Monica and Jenny went and sat at the curb and turned the other way.
"I have to go home now," I said. Even in this early stage I could feel Brad's possessiveness emenating. He didn't want me to leave, even if he ever said it. We stood there staring at each other for a moment and he hugeed me. He always had amazing hugs. Behind Brad, Adam was yelling, "If you two are going to kiss, hurry up."
"Shut up!" I said back in response. I pulled away from Brad and looked into his eyes, just close enough that he couldn't kiss me wihtout me being able to chicken out. His eyes were so blue and vibrant I'm surprised that didn't trigger me going into shock. My knees were already locked.
I got closer to him and it almost happened. But I chickened and I kissed him on the cheek.
"Now let me kiss you," he said. And he did just that. It was freezing cold out but I felt like I was on fire. Everything was warm and soft. In that one second moment on Halloween, I was changed forever. Forever bounded to Brad, whether I liked it or not. I didn't know it then; all I knew was I had my first kiss and it was amazing.
Since published on 3-26-06