Lawrence KS, Due to the inclement weather, I haven't been outside in several days. Cabin fever has begun to set in and tragedy has befallen me. I have been reduced to playing Sega’s Sonic the Hedgehog® for entertainment. This might sound, like an entertaining pastime to you, but I mastered this whirly and whimsical videogame when I was the age of twelve.

For those of you who do not know the story of the mighty Blue hedgehog, I will relate it to you here:

The world in which Sonic inhabits in has been taken over by the evil and insidious, Dr. Robotnik (named Dr. Eggman in Japan due to his fat, humpty dumpty-like appearance). Anyways, Dr. Robotnik has taken all the cute and cuddly creatures of the world and turned them into slightly less cute but far more evil robotic slaves.

It is your noble job as Sonic the Hedgehog to liberate your cute and cuddly friends from their robotic bondage. However I turned from that path long ago. I still rescue the cute and cuddly creatures but now I have become specialized in leading them to their untimely demise. Sometimes I use the spikes or bottomless pits to dispatch the cute and cuddlies but my favorite method is the lava pool.

I have also become more sadistic in my treatment of Sonic himself. Whether it is death by drowning, pit of spikes, fire, or even electric shock; I am relentless in his torture. I make stupid moves just to see the surprised look on his face as flies off the screen. It would seem that snow makes me sadistic and I find this sudden sociopathic need to dispatch pixel people to their doom disturbing.