Already Gone

Chapter Seven

The next day was not a usual Sunday. I wished it had been. I wished that the day would consist of Jamie and I sitting around the apartment, relaxing, spending time together. Even as I opened my eyes and thought about it, I knew I could forgive Jamie for bringing Katrina to the apartment. She was his friend and I was in no position to tell Jamie who he should or shouldn’t be friends with.

But all bets were off when I left the spare bedroom that Sunday morning, yawning out loud. Because there she was, sitting on one of the sofas, by herself. The television was on but the volume was turned down low. When Katrina saw me, a smile formed on her lips. But it wasn’t a friendly smile. Her not-so-thin face and her narrow nose made her look mean. It took all I had not to glare at her as I passed, making my way into the kitchen.

Jamie was there, as I expected. He was reaching in to the refrigerator and didn’t notice me until he turned back around.

“Lily,” he started, “’morning.” He looked uncertain.

“Right. So,” I began, not wanting to say the words but knowing I had to, “I’m going to go.”

“What?”

“I’m leaving.”

“No, Lily.” Jamie lowered his voice then, and added, “Please don’t leave.”

“Uh, well,” I paused, to pretend like I was thinking about this, “yeah, I’m going to go.”

“Lily, let me explain.”

“Why should I?”

Jamie stared at me blankly, not expecting to hear those words. And with that, I picked up a sweater off of the coat rack by the door, put on my sneakers and left.

It was cold outside and I didn’t know where I was going. Snow was blowing around in my face. My hands were numb almost immediately, so I shoved them deeper into the pockets of the sweater I had on. I wished I was back in the city, with Ashley, with my sister. I felt like it was déjà vu from the first day I had spent in Parry Sound. Cold. Alone. Scared.

Suddenly I remembered Caroline. She had given me her phone number and told me to call her anytime, if I needed anything or just wanted to talk. Slowly I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out my wallet. Inside I searched and finally found the folded piece of paper, which had her number written neatly on it. My cell phone came out of my pocket next, and I dialled the number slowly and with great caution. What if she had forgotten about me? What if she didn’t care?

“Hello?” I heard her voice in my ear a moment later.

“Oh, hi. Caroline?” I must have sounded just like a frightened child.

“Yes, this is Caroline. Who’s speaking?” she asked politely.

“Caroline, this is Lily Otto. We met a couple of weeks ago, in the park.”

“Lily!” Her voice raised, and I could feel her smiling.

I was suddenly very relieved. She hadn’t forgotten about me. “How are you?” I asked her.

“Oh, I’m fine, Lily. But how are you doing? I was afraid I wouldn’t hear from you again,” Caroline told me.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I haven’t called. I’ve been okay. I’ve had some bad days; it’s been up and down. I guess I’m just calling to… talk.”

“Would you like to meet up? My afternoon is free,” she informed me.

“I’d like that,” I answered.

“Okay. Where are you now?”

“I’m just walking around. I’m…” I stopped talking, to look around, “a few blocks from the park, where we first met.”

“Okay, well how about I pick you up and we’ll grab a coffee somewhere?” Caroline asked, and it sounded good to me.

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you soon.” And then she was gone.

It didn’t take long before I was asking myself is calling Caroline had really been a good idea. Maybe I shouldn’t get her involved at all. Maybe I was better off just dealing with everyone on my own. But before I had time to think about it much further, a dark coloured minivan pulled up and stopped at the curb where I was walking. I could see Caroline in the driver’s seat, though the barely-tinted glass.

Just minutes later, we were sitting across from each other at Jackson’s Café, in silence. I don’t know why Caroline chose this particular place, but I didn’t mind. I knew the people who worked there, and I hadn’t been there in awhile. Caroline obviously didn’t know where to begin with me, so she waited, looking worried.

Finally I spoke, cautiously, “I’m really… angry.”

Caroline looked up, wondering what I meant by this. “About what?”

“It seems so… minor… considering everything,” I began, keeping in mind that Caroline didn’t know my whole story, or why I was in Parry Sound. To her, I was just a runaway. “But Jamie, the guy I’ve been staying with… he brought this girl home, who is his ex, or something…” I wasn’t looking at her as I spoke.

“And you and Jamie are…?”

I wasn’t expecting her to ask me that. “We’re not anything… I guess.”

“But you have feelings for him?” she wanted to know.

“Yeah. He’s awesome, and he’s done so much for me over the past few weeks, and he told me he cared about me…” I replied.

“But now he hurt you.”

“Yeah. So I left, but I have no where to go, so I have to go back.” I was looking down at my hands, and my hot chocolate.

Caroline took a sip of her coffee. “You’re still planning on staying in town for awhile?” she asked.

“Yeah, I can’t go back to North Bay… not for awhile anyway.” I knew that how long I stayed in Parry Sound depended on so many things. It depended on my grandmother and on the North Bay police and if anyone was even looking for me.

“And Jamie is okay with you continuing to stay with him?” Caroline questioned.

“He wants me to stay. But recently I’ve been feeling like I should be contributing something. I’ve been thinking about trying to get a job, but I don’t have a resume, or anything… I don’t know what to do.”

Caroline thought about this for a moment and then smiled. “I could get you a job. I’d have to convince my father-in-law that I’ve known you longer than a few weeks, is all.”

“What do you mean?” I looked up at her then, confused.

“My husband’s father owns a supermarket in the east end of the city. I could get you an interview with him,” she informed me, still smiling.

I literally couldn’t believe what she was saying. It sounded completely unreal. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, would you be interested? Would you like me to set something up?”

I wanted a job more than anything right now. I wanted something to keep my mind off of everything. I needed something to focus on. Plus, I needed money. I knew I would be staying in Parry Sound at least a few months. And I wanted at least some independence. “Of course,” I finally told Caroline.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him and set up an interview,” she smiled again.

And suddenly I felt nervous and anxious. “Wow… thank you,” I smiled back.

“Oh, I’m just glad I can do something to help. My younger brother Trent has worked at the supermarket for years, all through high school. He’s nineteen, now… he just started college.”

I wasn’t exactly sure why she was telling me this but I smiled at her and nodded. Then I began thinking about Jamie again, and how Katrina had spent the night, and how I was sure I would never trust him again. Then I thought about Cale, and how much I wished I could call him and have him make everything better. And suddenly my mind when to Ashley, back in North Bay, probably worried sick about me. And then Cassandra, my little princess, alone and scared and abandoned.

For a moment I forgot that I was still sitting in the café with Caroline. “Sorry,” I mumbled out loud, “I just have a lot on my mind.”

“I bet you do,” she nodded. “Do you wan to talk about any of it?”

I couldn’t tell her about my parents or my sister, at least not yet. I didn’t want to involve her in my drama with Jamie and Cale, either. So what else was there to talk about? “I can’t, really… not right now,” I answered.

Caroline nodded again. “Okay, that’s okay. If and when you want to… let me know.”

“Thank you.”

“So, do you have somewhere to go today… tonight?” Caroline changed the subject then.

I thought about the question for a minute, and then told her, “Yeah, I’ll find somewhere to go.”

She looked concerned. “Well, you can call me, if you need to.”

I nodded, forcing a smile. I knew I wouldn’t call her, but she didn’t need to know that. And I was grateful for her offer. It didn’t feel like it, but it had been over two hours since we had arrived at the café, and Caroline looked aghast, after glancing at her watch.

“Oh, dear,” she began, “my brother is babysitting the kids, but he has to get to work soon.”

“Oh, ok… well… thank you so much, for talking with me, and everything…” I replied, not knowing what else to say and feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“I’m glad to help in any way I can. I will give you a call soon… after I speak with my father-in-law. Is that your cell phone that you called me from?” Caroline asked, standing up from the table.

I stood up, too, and nodded. “Yes, and thank you.”

“Okay, good. Do you need a ride back somewhere?” she went on, picking up her empty china coffee mug from the table.

“No, no, I’ll walk. I’m not exactly sure where I’m going yet,” I told her.

She nodded, and stepped forward to hug me. I hugged her back, and when we pulled apart, she told me to take care. I thanked her once again and then watched her leave.

I was daydreaming for the next hour or so and didn’t even notice when someone entered the small café and walked up to the counter. I only snapped back to reality when I heard voices nearing me.

“Lily?”

And there was Cale, standing with J.J., the waiter. J.J. just smiled at me and walked away, leaving Cale there, a few feet away from me. He pulled out the chair that Caroline had previously been sitting in, and sat down across from me. At first he didn’t say anything. And neither did I. When Cale couldn’t take the silence from me any longer, he spoke, not holding anything back.

“What are you doing here?” he wanted to know. No ‘hello’, no ‘how are you?’.

“I always come here. Is this not coincidental meeting?” I asked, half sarcastically.

“Jamie called me. He told me you just up and left and he didn’t know where you were. What the hell are you doing?” Cale looked glad to have found me, but frustrated and upset at the same time.

“I’m drinking hot chocolate.” I pointed to my cup.

“Lily, you can’t just take off. You scared Jamie, and you scared me,” Cale snapped, now looking more angry than anything.

“If Jamie really cared, why didn’t he come out looking for me himself?” I wanted to know.

“He just asked me to go out and look for you… he didn’t say why he couldn’t… but he was really upset.” Cale was trying to look right in my eyes, but I was looking down at the table by now.

“So you don’t know why I left?” I asked him.

“Jamie said you just left because you were pissed off.”

“And he didn’t tell you why?” I let out a laugh. Cale fell quiet. “I got back last night, from shopping with you and Mandy, and there was Jamie, sitting on the sofa with Katrina. I got a bit upset and went to the spare room for the rest of the night. This morning, I woke up not even thinking about it, and there she was, on the sofa, watching television. She stayed the night.”

Cale obviously didn’t know what to say to me. He knew how I felt about Jamie, he knew this would strongly affect me and the way things were going to be from now on. He cleared his throat. He adjusted his hat. He was trying to buy time.

“You know Jamie, Lily. He doesn’t think when he does things sometimes. I’m sure he didn’t even realize this would upset you,” Cale finally told me.

“And that makes it okay? Jamie and I just had a talk about our relationship a few days ago, he said things, and I believed him… and now I don’t think I can…”

“He didn’t mean to hurt you. Jamie’s a little slow when it comes to girls and their feelings,” Cale laughed, and then added, “Will you call him, please?”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t want to talk to him.”

“Fine,” he flipped open his phone and started pressing buttons. Before I could stop him, he was already talking into the phone. “Hey man… yeah I found her… she’s fine. Uh, no. Okay… well… I’ll call you in a bit… Okay… see you man.”

“Did he really even care that I was gone?” I asked, only half seriously.

“Of course he did. He was worried. He cares about you, you know that. We all care about you,” Cale replied, smiling.

“Even you?” I asked with a laugh.

“Especially me,” he told me, and then changed the subject, “So, what are your plans for today?”

“Well you know… since I’ve already been sitting here at this table for like three hours… obviously I have no distinct plans for the day.”

Cale let out a laugh. “Okay, well, do you want to come to band practise? Mandy is out for the day with her mom… and I need someone at practise, for moral support.”

“I’d love to be your moral support,” I told him, smiling. And for the first time all day, it was not a forced smile.