There is a legend about me.

I knew this story well, for I had heard it ever since I was little. Everybody spoke of it.
Everybody loved to retell it. Aside from the stories of the gods, it was our people’s first legend in their new home.

The new home.

Our people once lived in a land that was cold all year long. The adults said that they had traveled throughout the year, following herds of animals. Snow often dusted the ground, keeping it frozen all year long.

After one harsh winter, in which many tribes-men died, it was decided that they would move further south. Their numbers had been greatly diminished, and warmer climates were greatly desired. In the end, they moved further east also. My home.

The four gods traveled with the people, deciding where they would make their new home.
The best place for such hunters and untried farmers. A forest healthy with game surrounding a great expanse of steppe hills. My home.

Within days of the people settling, I was discovered.

My parents told me I could not have been more than a few days old. None in the tribe had recently given birth, and the nearest settlement was over a weeks’ travel on foot. I was without a heritage, no family.

They became my family. The whole of the village. The raised me like one of their own; I wanted for nothing; they loved me. They became my people.

Some believed I was a gift from the gods, for I was indeed blessed. I learned quickly, and remembered all that I learned. I invented things. I realized things long before many of the elders did. I was a step ahead of everybody else.

The gods denied creating me.

I was human.

And yet, I knew something. I knew what I was destined for. I knew where the path of my life was to lead.

And I was afraid of my destiny.

---

I had only seen eight years when I first entered the temple as a novice.

At that time, there were only three of our four gods in residence. The two elders, the Goddess of Life, and the God of Death, and one of the younger ones, the Goddess of Peace. Our fourth god, the God of War, had long ago departed for distant lands, keeping ours safe from war.

I served the three gods, and I quickly rose in favor. I knew more that the others of my age. I learned quickly and taught others what I learned. Only my age kept me from becoming a master within the Temple. Still, I had yet to reach puberty, and the elders often came to me with questions or when in need of advice.

My place within the temple was set. I was my people’s pride. I was the gods’ pet. This was the path my destiny had laid before me.

I treaded this path with great care, afraid of where my fate would lead me. I knew my future, and I feared it.

---

I had only just passed my fourteenth year when the God of War returned to our people. I did not get to greet him upon his return, for I was on a journey to a neighboring village for peace talks. It wasn’t until three weeks later, five days after we had returned home, that we were presented to our god. We had been away from home for well over three months. I had turned fourteen less than two months before.

We were presented to our god in a special ceremony. There were twenty of us that returned home. The other eighteen that had gone with had stayed behind to build relationships with our new allies.

I laid eyes upon my god and knew I would love him.

Gods have a defense against death. It is sort of like a love potion. When a human sees a god, they fall in love. A god does this to survive.

Gods only exist at the whim of humans. As long as humans believe, a god will live, once they stop, they lose power. Eventually, they die.

This was different.

I loved the others like family. The way a human loves his god. This one, I knew, I would love with all my heart, body and soul.

When he spoke to our group of youths, I knew, also, that this was where my destiny was leading me.

He offered us all immortality. He offered us a life of a god.

I had hid behind the group, gawking at him without his gaze upon me. I couldn’t get enough of looking at him.

The youths before me all eagerly agreed to this bargain. None saw the look upon his face as all agreed. I did.

He looked so terribly sad, as if he had tested us and what he found was disappointing. He had wanted us to say no.

Clutching a hand to my chest, I turned away and tried to sneak out of his presence. He noticed me then, for his voice echoed though the temple, calling to me. I stopped and bowed low. He had stood and was watching me intently as we spoke. He finally asked me if I wanted to be a god.

Deep within my body I felt a tugging. Something in my soul was telling me what to do. This was where the path to my destiny started. I would have to be immortal, I would have to be a god for my destiny to be achieved.

“No.” I didn’t want to be a god. I was afraid of my destiny. I wanted to be a normal human. I wanted death. I bowed formally and repeated at his shocked look. “Forgive me, Lord, I am not worthy enough to be a god.” I backed away, edging to the door. He followed.

For the next two years, he was at residence within our village.

In the fall of my fifteenth year, he became my lover. Ah, such pleasure there! Everything about him was perfect, and I loved him with my whole being. Nothing would I deny him. Save for my mortality.

And ask he did.

I was gifted with the love of a god, truly blessed. And although I could refuse him none of myself, I was too afraid of my destiny to accept his invitation. I stood firm on this. I wanted my death. A mortal death.

It was there, our hideaway, a tiny spring, naturally dammed to create a small pond of clear fresh water, that fate took its own back. That small retreat held so many memories of us, for we always met there just before dark and lay together in the ferns. One vision remains clear within my mind of that night. His hand brushing softly along my shoulder as his eyes marveled at my human flesh. My fingers entangled with his as my eyes slid closed into a deep, empty sleep.

As I drifted off, I felt it. Destiny telling me, the time had come for me to follow my set path.

The next I awoke, it was to find four days had passed. My body was weak and my lids were heavy. Forever, I lay, not wanting to move, but knowing that with the dawn’s light, I too must rise. Barely had I sat up with my head spinning, than he entered, his eyes intent upon me.

What had happened? I had grown ill. So ill, the spark of my life should have been smothered. Should have been. I felt it in my bones, I should have died. An illness spread from poisoned moss that saps strength, and deteriorates the will to live through the pain of stomach and chest.

He never lowered his gaze, and within I could see the truth. Before I could cry nay, he gathered me in a tight embrace, offering soothing words I could not accept. Finding my voice, I could only utter one word, repeatedly. “Why?”

He waited until my tears slowed enough for me to hear. Lips touching my ear, he whispered words I had, until that moment, cherished. “Because I love you.”

Suddenly my body was renewed, under my own command, and I pushed him from me. “Lies. You speak false. If you had loved me, you would have respected my wishes. I asked not to be a god. I asked to die a mortal death. You knew this. You knew this! You have betrayed me.”

Harsh words to gift the one you love. Caustic in their uttering, meant to blister his heart, just as he had torn apart my selfish desires. I chose not to see the pain in his gaze. I chose not to acknowledge his suffering at my words. Young and selfish, I was, then.

A truth I had learned, was that he could now control me as he saw fit. I wasn’t a natural god, neither were the others I was now like. Not created by a human’s belief, but by a god’s power. Far different. He owned me, for my powers were really his. I was his puppet.

The love in my heart turned cold and I hardened my resolve. I had to learn. I was but a child of sixteen years, turned godly. I needed to learn. He, and the others, taught me. And it hurt. I lived now at the temple, for I was a god. Lower than the Four, but a god nonetheless. A servant still, like the others that had accepted this gift, but a powerful servant.

The Lady of Life taught me separately from the others. I fancied, then, it was because of the anger I hid within that she could see. The Master of Death spoke with me as we walked miles of paths underground. The Maiden of Peace allowed me the rest I could not find on my own, soothing me into a sleep unburdened with angry dreams. And he, the Prince of War, taught me what it meant for me to be a god. I had been separated from the others for reasons only known to they Four. I was too full of myself, of my wounded pride to notice at the time.

I stayed, and I learned. My family died around me, my people changed with each generation. The tug deep within me quieted as I blindly followed my destiny. Quieted, but never left. There was still more to come. More that I feared.

---

Our people changed with the years, as is wont to happen. Some left, a taste for exploring whetting their appetite. Many died, the Lord holding out his hands when illness arrived at our village.

The Four remained strong. Those that had been blessed by the God of War went off to fight for his honor, and died at the hands of true-born gods. I hid within our temple, a coward, hiding from my fate.

Time had passed me by. Outside my sanctuary, the world was changing. Growing. The Four never pressed me to leave, and I never had a desire to reenter the world of mortals. Within the temple, I was safe from the web of fate.

Through it all, I never spoke of our past together. I never allowed him to touch me. I never allowed him to thaw my heart. I couldn’t find it in me to forgive him his rash actions. I was weak and found false strength in my cowardly ways.

I do not know how much time passed, in all. It was enough for the people to forget that I was once human. They worshiped me along with the Four, although I asked for no prayers, nor offerings. I was a child god. The God of Fate, they named me. How I hated that name.

When they built an alter to me, I couldn’t stand it any more. I was a servant. I was a child blessed, not one to be elevated to godhood. It went against the teachings I had received as a mortal child. I could not be as honored as They were.

I left.

And I felt that clenching, that tugging deep within, reassert itself. Fright consumed me, and I ran from the only home I had known since my birth.

---

I explored the world. Time passed, and I learned everything anyone was willing to teach. I watched as civilization was born, I watched as humans created clans and, later, governments. I watched great monuments rise from the ground by human hands. And I watched as nations fell under their own weight.

And I never returned..

I had no contact with my people, with my gods. I was alone. There was nowhere I could call home. There was nobody I could trust. I was in a mess of my own making, shunning those that loved me. I tasted the world and grew weary with what I learned. The same mistakes, the same discoveries repeated through history. It wearied me and I again hid from it all.

I found a small isolated island and rested. I spent years laying on the sand of the beach, allowing water to wet my toes. I spent nights gazing up at the stars, where humans believe fate was written out. I had no company, no animals, no gods. I was at peace, for the stench of civilization could not reach me, the noise of life was as near as the bottom of the ocean that surround me.

Then I was suddenly pulled from my sanctuary by such a power, I feared once again. I was pulled through time and space in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, I was in a temple I could not recognize. Made of stone and grand, it housed four statues, one gracing each wall.

The north wall held a stone statue of a womanly form, taller than two full grown men. Etched with care, and painted, she was beautiful and lifelike. A smile graced her features as she gazed down at me, maternally.

Along the south wall, a man in dark robes, his feature hidden from sight and one hand held out, palm up, stood covered with shadows. His chin and lips showed below the hood, and the smallest of serene smiles played upon his full, carefully painted lips.

To the east, another woman graced the wall. Her smile was jovial and she had her fingers tangled in real flowers, shimmering in the firelight with this morning’s dew.

Slowly, I turned to the last statue, reluctant to see what I knew would be there.

He too smiled, a slight crook to his lips. He held a sword by the blade behind his back and stood, ready to attack any who dared cross him. The statue didn’t hold my gaze long, for the god himself stood just below the dias, just inside a door to the side.

He looked tired.

Shivering in the empty temple, I approached.

“Where have they gone?”

“They are dead.”

I clutched my arms around myself, unable to get warm. “How?”

He turned away and I followed him down a hall and up stairs. Several flights up, we stopped at a window and he pointed out. Following his direction I gazed at the jungle that surrounded the temple. Not understanding, I turned questioning eyes on him.

“Our worshipers are gone. Have been gone for many generations now. Lost to us by war, plage, and newer, younger religions. We are a thing of the past. I am the last.” Again, he turned away from me and walked some more. I followed blindly, lost.

We came to a bed chamber where he slowly, like an old human, settled on the bed. “I am without power.” His voice was low, without feeling. “When the last of our people died, He retreated to serve them in death. She soon followed, for none were being born.” As he spoke, his hand gestured to a figure of each in turn.

Tears trailing down my cheeks, I sat on the edge of the bed, trying to comprehend what he told me. I knew gods could die, had seen it often. But not mine. Never mine.

They birthed me, raised me. They were my home, my family. Following his hand to the figures, I cried for my mother and father.

“Sister only recently left, for our people’s final stand was in war.” I cried out, knowing that my people died in pain. Knowing that She died unfulfilled. “There is nothing left. What texts there were are gone. Only this temple remains, and with none to kept it, it, too, will fade away into history.” This temple was the last of our religion. Once that was gone, there would be no hope for the religion to be reborn. No hope for the gods to rule again. And so they died. “I will fade.”

“No!” I covered my face and cried. I was helpless. I was weak and pointless. He sat up and touched a hand to my shoulder.

“Do not cry, little one.” He smoothed back my hair and smiled kindly. Kindly, after all that I had done to him. “You will live. You will defy all laws of gods and mortals.” Again that tugging returned, but I was too caught up in my grief to pay any heed to it. “You will live, my lovely.”

“Don’t leave me.” The words were out before I realized I meant them. “I love you. Please don’t leave me.”

He smiled and his fingers threaded through my hair. “Everything dies, mortals and gods alike. It is the way of our world. Everything dies, except for you. You will live, my strange one.” He laid back upon the bed and this time I followed him down, holding him close.

His head rested upon my shoulder, his hands holding my waist. We laid like that for hours. And I realized something. Through it all, he could control me, command my body without my willingness. Through it all, never once did he, until this day.

I lifted his head, for he was not sleeping, even now, so close to death that his body was listless and heavy. “I love you, I have never stopped. I never could. I will not ask forgiveness, for I am undeserving. But know that I have always loved you.” He smiled again and I tasted his lips with my tears upon them. And I loved him, loved his body the way I could now allow myself after thousands of years.

Afterward, as I held him in my arms, his around my waist once again, I was consumed with a bittersweet happiness. For all my faults, he loved me still. He had forgiven me.

Then, still holding him, our fingers entwined, his weight became a dead weight. Sobbing out in pain, I clutched his body closer. “Don’t leave me!” I screamed, face hot with tears.

Then his body dissolved into a mist of glittering speckles. I was left clutching nothing. Nothing.

I curled in on myself. Pain overcoming me. I cried through the night and most of the day, until I had no tears left. I made myself explore this temple, my new home. I created boundaries that warded off humans. None would find this temple so deep in the jungle, for I wanted no company. I wanted this life over. I wanted a mortal death.

And, as even more years passed, I learned that he spoke the truth. I would not die. I could not die. Fate had other plans for me.

As much as I hated myself, hated my fault and my errors, I could not die. I was alone in this ever changing world. Those I loved were gone.

I locked myself away in this temple and slept a sleep so near death, but so far. No dreams no nightmares, just empty blackness. My only solace in this world of pain.

Then I awoke. I woke to a strange new world. Humans had overrun this earth, changed it. I can feel fate tugging me still, and still I hide away from it all within my temple.

So much time has passed, I had spent more time asleep than awake now. I had forgotten so much. None of it matters anymore, only one things pains me.

I have forgotten his name. But he forgave me. I remember that. And fate may not be done with me, but I was at peace in my heart, knowing he loved me in the end.