Frozen Spring

Unhappy with who I've been,
irritated with who I am,
this constant search is getting old
but I cannot kick the addiction.
Winter came and killed me,
and now spring wants to revive;
lungs that don't want any air
and a soul refusing to thrive.

Flowers open, wilt, and fade,
while I refuse to bud.
But it can’t stop the storms from staining
me with precious blood.
A hole inside me deepens,
as I fall into myself;
trapped inside a corrupt being
who’s far beyond repair.

I believed the lies and mailed in rebates
on things that can't be bought.
My soul I sold, to a part of me
that I had long forgot.

Now I'm everything you hated
and nothing that I want,
as my desperate life hits empty
I settle for what won’t work.
I’m breaking mirrors
to nix my luck
and killing perceptions
of what I was,
while contemplating
why I breathe
and what this term
“perfect” should be…

And winter stays frozen
while you flow into spring
cause I can’t unthaw
until I find me.

-Mizark
4/1/06