Never Be Right

By: Shima And Tempis

There’s a strong yearning in your body to go near them, speak to them, have some sort of contact, even for the briefest of moments. You want to antagonize them, egg them on just enough that they’ll respond and not leave you alone. You prefer any attention whatsoever to them ignoring you. Regardless of the fact that you don’t actually like them. You don’t want to be there friends; you don’t want to sit with them at lunch. Nothing of the sort. You just want them to pay attention to you. You want them to notice your presence. Even if it’s just to glare at you in the hallway.

You know how strange it sounds. Why would you want to get attention from people you don’t even like? And to be honest, you have no idea. You yearn for their attention more than the attention of your friends. You want them to snap at you more than you want deep conversation with your best friend. It’s just the feeling that their lives revolve around their next insult to you that makes you drink in every piece of attention they throw your way.

It’s self-centered, thinking that someone else’s world revolves around you. But if theirs’ didn’t, why would the pay attention to you so often? Why would a single look spark a glare or a snide comment? Why would they continue to post awful messages about you and horrible lists about your faults where they know you can see them? Why would they go to such extremes to get your attention if their world wasn’t complete without it?

You can bear going through a day without seeing them, and you know it. You’ve done it plenty of times before. It took you three months to realize they weren’t even speaking to you. But once you get a taste of something you like, it’s hard to get a taste for silence. Every insult makes you stronger, more amused. You share the list of insults and faults they’ve come up with with your friends, and you all laugh together and realize that they don’t know you well at all. These friends, the ones laughing with you, they know you. But these people, the ones who live day to day ready to insult you or try to make you feel worse, don’t know you at all.

One of the funniest comments is the one that says you never argue with your parents. What teenager in their right mind never argues with their parents? You’re parents just recently decided that you were going to ruin your life taking the courses you wanted to take. They said you were too easily swayed off your path, that the occupation you wanted to pursue wasn’t going to get you anywhere. And then they’d turn around and be whole-heartedly on your side. Since then you’ve tended to stop listening to them.

So as you go on, day to day, waiting for what they’ll do next, you realize that it isn’t your addiction, or your self-centered attitude, that makes it seem like their lives revolve around you. It’s the fact that everyday they make their presence known, make sure you don’t feel your best, that has you knowing exactly what their intentions are, and makes you smile.

Because after all: who cares what they really think? It’s what they say aloud that really matters, and what they say aloud that has you smiling and known they’ll never be right.