Jack popped another olive into his mouth and casually spat out the crimson pit. He glanced over at the memorial dryly and then plucked another olive from the plate, sighing; though at what he wasn’t sure.

There she lay, peacefully at rest and beautiful as ever. Damn her.

“Ah! There you are, Jack!”

Jack turned to see Al lumbering up to him with a cautious grin on his face. Jack smiled back at him in the same manner, but said nothing. Al clapped a hand firmly on Jack’s shoulder and they both turned to face the corpse.

Jack heard Al mutter something or other before turning away with tears in his eyes. Al reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a stained white handkerchief into which he blew his nose obnoxiously.

The two men stood, Jack facing Al and the coffin, which he eyed narrowly as though willing it to incinerate. “I’m sorry,” said Al once he had pulled himself together again. “I just can’t believe it, can you?” Jack held his gaze intently upon the corpse as he answered. “No, terrible what happened, isn’t it?”

“You ought to know,” The corpse said, lifting her head and glaring over Al’s shoulder. “you did this to me.”

Jack’s eyes narrowed even further at her. Al remained oblivious. “What did happen anyway? I don’t believe I’ve heard the full story.”

“Go on, tell him,” she said disdainfully. “you know all about it. You know everything that happened.” She had risen and now stood behind Al. “Tell him.”

“Well Al,” he began, never looking away from her. “they say it wasn’t a pretty scene. I read in the papers her whole damn head was smashed in.” He gestured meanly toward her with his pointed chin. “Wonderful reconstruction they’ve done, hmm?”

The corpse lifted her hand self-consciously to the scars where pieces of skin had to be faked to fill in small gaps where it couldn’t simply be pulled back together into its once beautiful form.

Jack smirked. “Yes, yes, just for the wake.” Al deduced, still oblivious to Jack’s distraction. “How well did you know her?” he questioned, trying to keep up the conversation so he wouldn’t tear up again. “Oh,” said Jack, “not so well.”

She gasped disgustedly.

“Yeah, how well can you really know a woman, hmm? Pretty thing though, wasn’t she?” Jack paused and the smirk melted from his face as he recalled the image. “Yeah…” he said, quickly shoving a firm green olive between his lips. “Fucking gorgeous.” He spat the pit scornfully onto his plate. His face began to redden with anger. The face staring at him over Al’s shoulder began to smirk. Damn you, he thought, wipe that fucking smile off your face. You’re dead now, I won! You’re dead!

Apparently the corpse wasn’t listening. She stepped around Al’s large middle and placed herself between the two men.

Jack shivered at the closeness and tried to act as though he couldn’t see her.

“You can’t get away from it, Jack.” She whispered seductively into his mouth.

Damn you.

“I know what you did, and soon everyone else will know too.”

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

“And why…”

“Come on Al,” Jack finally said, wrapping his long fingers around Al’s grubby wrist and turning to leave. “let’s go.” “W-where?” Al stuttered as he stumbled forth in Jack’s sweaty grip.

The corpse stayed and watched as Jack stormed out of the room, Al stumbling behind.

Jack didn’t dare turn around as he heard her laughing. Damn you, damn you, damn you…

They burst into the next room, filled with guests come to pay their last respects to the withered beauty. “Where are we going, Jack? Jack?” Al wheezed behind him as Jack paused for a moment, red with anger and perspiring heavily. There she was, standing in her Sunday best among the crowd. She began laughing again. Damn it. Damn you. Damn your face.

He continued on out of the building, in a panic for an escape. He had lost poor gasping Al somewhere in the crowd. Jack looked around frantically until he saw it. The car! Yes! The car!

He charged it like a madman and ripped the door open. There she was on the passenger seat.

“Ready to go, darling?” she said mockingly.

Jack screamed and fell back in surprise. When he rose she was standing in front of him, smiling. Damn that smile.

“Get away from me!” he cried.

“‘Get away?’” she ridiculed. “But Jack, I just got back. Don’t you want to spend some time together?”

Jack turned from her and ran, through the nearby park and down the street.

“Come on Jack,” he could hear her voice in his head now. “we’ll go down to the lake. You bring the champagne…” He was running faster than ever now. “I’ll bring the corkscrew!”

Suddenly they appeared in front of him, those eyes, that smile, that body, that hair, each one perfectly in place; perfect. He stopped himself before running into her, before touching her, before falling again. Her sumptuous lips parted so delicately to let out a blaring foghorn of a note, and he cried out over it, “DAMN YOU!”

Suddenly she was gone, but the note wasn’t. Finally his eyes focused - through the sweat pouring from his brow - on the 18-wheeler barreling down the road just a few feet in front of him now. “Damn y-”

“Two funerals in two weeks, can you believe it?”

“A shame what happened.”

“Yes, they say he did it out of grief, was so torn up he just couldn’t live with it.”

“Mm, a lover’s tragedy, surely.”

“Sure. Have you paid your respects yet?”

“No, it seems odd to pay respects to a closed casket.”

“Well you wouldn’t want to do it with it open.”

“Good point. What a stomach churner that would be.”

“Yeah, I hear there wasn’t even any hope of putting him back together.”

“Nah, it wasn’t so bad as all that. But damn, you should have seen his face.”

“Bad?”

“Nothing left of that.”

“Oh my.”

“Yeah, pretty violent, it mightn’t have been so bad if the tire hadn’t popped. The rim really did the worst of it.”

“Popped? I hadn’t heard that. How’d that ever happen?”

“Apparently there was a corkscrew, right in the middle of the road. Went right in and burst the tire, then flew out again, smack in the kisser. Like I said, the rim did the rest.”

“Oh how gruesome, I’m sure he wasn’t expecting that; and all that damage because of a corkscrew.”

“Indeed.”