feed me with (more) lies

and it hurts (so fucking much) i can't let it go make it stop make it fade away (please, please) can't take the lies a n y m o r e but they are what i am because they are the (fucking) reason i am still held together so give me more (more, more) tell me that he/she/they love(s) me when really she/he/they hate(s) me

lovely.lovely.lovely.lovely. lies. l i e s. lies. that make me (so) happy i know i am lying to myself but i am (so,so,so) hungry (more, more, more) living like this is so much easier than having REALITY(!!) feed me with more lies that i'll blindly pretend to believe pretend to care (like you did) that was (such) a better (yet false) feeling everyday is worse so feed me more and more

i can't risk finding out the (horrible) truth if you lie too much (again) you'll be safe so lie to me (again) so i'll believe you are (were) a good person you'll never see anymore slits on my wrists,thighs,arms, legs,ankles, and heart (ever,ever,ever,ever again)

yet as the seconds (minutes, and hours) and days (weeks, months, years) pass by i realize - i am full (suffice of ALL THIS SHIT!!) maybe i'll suffer from bullimia (!!) wanting to take in the lies (so many but i want/need more) then feeling ashamed of my (fucking) fake life (being a poseur, too) so i'll end up vomitting it ALL out lies.are.my.fucking.life. because that's what you gave and now i'm stuck. i need them. but i hate them. so feed me with (more fucking) lies.

note: i know this isn't really that good, but i've had a writer's block and this is the only piece that i've written that didn't take forever to write. Please review and tell me what you think.