Certainty

They had been dating for two weeks now, and Ailill felt that it was time to take the next step. Aidan had felt that it had been time to take the ‘next step’ for several years, although Aidan’s ‘next step’ was quite different from Ailill’s, and Ailill had always been a little unsure about that. In fact, he still was unsure. So they were proceeding with Ailill’s next step and ignoring Aidan’s. For several years.

He would take Aidan on a date. Neither of them had been on a date before, as both of them were first-time boyfriends and hopelessly ignorant of how dates were supposed to play out.

Ailill had even stooped to asking Aidan’s older brother, Densunus, for advice, but he’d immediately regretted it. Somehow, Densunus’ every suggestion seemed to lead to a bedroom. Or a broom closet. Or some other suspiciously dark room. Ailill didn’t think that was where their first date should lead to… or at least not in the sense that Densunus meant. Certainly, he and Aidan shared a bed, but…

Ahem. So Ailill had asked his sister’s advice. Celia was five years younger than him, the same age as Aidan, but she was a girl and so she knew about dates.

“Take him out to a nice restaurant,” she said, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Be sure to share a dessert with him, and hold his hand across the table… oh, and after you’re done eating you can take a romantic walk in the park!”

“So no artsy foreign films?” Ailill asked, looking down at the list he had compiled.

She grimaced. “Not on the first date. That’s like… the date you go on after eleven years together, when you no longer care where you are, because you’ve done it all.”

“Oh,” the black-haired man murmured, crestfallen.

“Cheer up, Ailill. At least you got the dinner part right.”

“B-but… I tried so hard to think of something he’d like, and… I never got anywhere.”

“So, what does he like?”

Ailill blushed, looking away. “He likes… kissing me.”

“Go Ailill!” Celia cheered, shaking a fist in the air.

“But really, I can’t make a date out of that,” Ailill said worriedly.

Celia grinned deviously. “I can.”

Ailill huffed, crossing his arms. “Well, you have a big chest.”

“Oh. Oh, yes. But Aidan doesn’t like those, does he?”

Ailill shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never asked him.”

“Maybe you should. Anyway, though, you should just do what I’ve told you to do. I’m sure that no matter how badly you mess it up—because I know you’ll mess it up somehow, Ailill—Aidan will appreciate the effort.”

“I feel so reassured.”

“Oh, don’t worry so much!” Celia cried, patting his shoulder.

Ailill sighed heavily.

(l)(o)(v)(e)

The black-haired boy coughed nervously. “Aidan…?” he asked gently, staring down at the blond who lay on his stomach on the bed, a book open before him.

Aidan looked up from his homework. “Yes?”

“Umm… well… I…” Ailill could feel the blush rising in his cheeks. “Would you like you go on a date with me?” he asked, as fast as he could.

Bright blue eyes lit up. “Really? Really, Ailill? Oh, I’d love to go on a date—you know that! Oh, I… I love you!” he cried, leaping from the bed to tackle Ailill.

Topaz eyes stared up at Aidan’s face. “Aren’t you going to ask where we’re going?”

Aidan shook his head. “Where it is or what we’re doing doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you.”

Ailill’s heart melted. “All right. Well, be ready tomorrow at six.”

“Of course,” Aidan agreed, leaning his head against Ailill’s chest.

“Of course, I might have a concussion, with you making me hit my head on the floor.”

Aidan waved it away. “Don’t be a whiner.”

(l)(o)(v)(e)

The two sat quietly as the hearse hummed down the streets. Ailill’s knuckles were turning white on the steering wheel, and Aidan fidgeted, his hands in his lap.

As forward as Aidan seemed at times, he was actually quite shy when it came down to it. He kept his eyes level with the dashboard as he spoke softly, “Heh heh, I imagine everyone thinks we’re part of a funeral procession or something…”

“I like my car,” Ailill said defensively.

“Well, I like it too, of course. Because, you know… it has quite a large backseat,” Aidan said, smirking over at Ailill suggestively. Ailill was glad that he had become more comfortable, and smiled back at him.

“For corpses,” Ailill said cheerily.

Aidan grimaced. “Mood-ruiner,” he spat, crossing his arms.

“You’re impossibly lovely tonight,” the black-haired boy commented, looking over at Aidan. He was wearing a long-sleeved blue shirt that made his eyes shine beautifully and black pants that… ahem.

“I’m always impossibly lovely!” Aidan cried.

“Well, yes…” Ailill agreed, and Aidan’s eyes widened. A pale hand reached out to stroke the side of his face…

“RED LIGHT!” Aidan cried, and Ailill slammed on the brakes.

Aidan winced as the seatbelt braced painfully against him. “You’re a bad driver, Ailill!” he cried, his voice jumping several octaves in fright.

The man blushed. “…Only when you’re in the car.”

(l)(o)(v)(e)

The two sat across from each other at a small wood table. It was a nice restaurant, with elegant low lighting and fine furnishings. Young people didn’t often come to places like these, and the older people around them stared at them when it seemed like they weren’t watching.

“An old-people restaurant?” Aidan asked, leaning in across the table and hiding the movement of his lips with his menu.

Celia had been right. So, so right. Ailill hoped she was right about Aidan liking it anyway, though. His fingers were crossed. “It’s not an old-people restaurant—it’s just that young people don’t have any money.”

“Hmm…”

“The food is good,” Ailill said defensively.

They ate their salads, speaking quietly to one another about nothing at all. Ailill noticed that Aidan’s shoulders shook slightly every once in a while, but the boy wasn’t saying anything about it, so Ailill had to take the initiative.

“Are you cold, Aidan?” he asked gently.

The blond nodded. “I think I’m under a vent,” he said, glancing up at the ceiling to the place where cold air rained down on him.

“Come sit beside me,” Ailill offered, taking Aidan’s salad bowl and pulling it across the table, next to his.

Aidan stood nervously, looking at the space on the bench. “Is there enough room?” he asked skeptically.

Ailill let his hands on Aidan’s waist, pulling him onto the bench beside him be his answer. Across the room, several elderly women gasped.

He smiled as a bright pink flush stole across Aidan’s cheeks as the blond took his cup and his silverware, moving it closer. Soon after, their meals arrived. Their elbows rubbed awkwardly as they both tried to cut up the meat.

“Sorry,” Ailill muttered, trying to edge away—but there was no more room on the bench. After all, it was only meant to seat one.

After the fifth accidental elbow-jab, Aidan huffed loudly, stabbed a piece of Ailill’s meat with his fork, and stuffed it into the other’s mouth. Topaz eyes bulged and Ailill chewed and swallowed as best as he could.

“Let’s take turns, Ailill. You can cut your meat, and then I’ll cut my meat… doesn’t that sound like a lovely plan?” Aidan asked, clasping his hands together.

“…All right,” the mage murmured dully. Could the night get any worse? Maybe he just wasn’t cut out for dates.

For dessert, they had ordered crème brulee. It was arranged beautifully, with caramel resting atop the custard in gently swirls and light pink flower petals arranged within the edges.

“Hmm, I’ve never eaten flowers before,” Aidan remarked, sticking his spoon into his slice of custard.

Ailill deftly plucked a petal from the top of the pie, holding it in front of Aidan’s face. The boy stared curiously at it. “What?”

“Open up.”

Aidan blushed, looking down as he opened his mouth. The flower petal was pressed into his tongue and he quickly closed his mouth, giving an embarrassed swallow.

“You’re awfully forward tonight,” Aidan remarked, tugging at the side of his collar.

Ailill noticed and wanted to smile. “I’m just worried, is all…”

Aidan blinked. “You should be worried more often, then. I could enjoy you being worried, you know.”

“Well… it’s just that this is our first date and I really wanted it to be special… but it’s been terrible so far, hasn’t it? I mean, we almost got in a wreck… and then you were cold… and then I jabbed you with my elbow about a million times,” Ailill said worriedly.

“It could be worse. You could’ve thrown up on me.”

The man’s eyes widened in horror. “Don’t jinx it!”

Aidan rolled his eyes, taking Ailill’s larger hand gently and intertwining their fingers. “Besides… I think it’s been pretty well near perfect.” He gave Ailill a timid, uncertain smile, and the black-haired man could no longer resist.

He leaned in, pressing his lips against Aidan’s tentatively. It was a gentle kiss, but several of the people around them left, muttering about scandals and rude youngsters. Ailill ignored them as he continued, “I love you… but that doesn’t really say it, does it? I mean, I could tell you that I love you all day, but you still wouldn’t really know how I feel—”

Aidan pressed a finger to Ailill’s lips, silencing him. “I do know how you feel… because I feel the same way.”

They kissed again, the bench straining with their movements as they struggled to get closer to each other. Aidan was just putting his arms around Ailill’s neck when a waiter with a high-pitched voice cried, “Your check, sir!” and slammed the bill down on the table.

Aidan glared. “Rude,” he muttered, shifting back to his side of the bench amid a chorus of creaky protests. Ailill quickly paid the bill and the two walked outside hand-in-hand.

(l)(o)(v)(e)

There was a bridge in the park, and the two halted in the middle of it, staring at the pond underneath. The sky was just beginning to fade from red to purple to a deep blue at the edges, and the dying sun played prettily across Aidan’s hair.

“Ailill?” he asked curiously as a hand reached for his shoulder, pulling him to lean against the black-haired man.

“So… should we do something like this again sometime?”

Aidan nodded. “But next time… I’ll cook.”

“You will?”

“Uh-huh. I’m a good cook, you know. I wouldn’t mind… unless you do?”

Ailill shook his head. “No, of course not. I’d be delighted to eat anything you cooked for me, Aidan.”

“Good. You’ll have to tell me what you want me to cook, so that I can find some good recipes.”

“All right. I’ll be thinking about what I want, then.”

Aidan turned around to face Ailill, framing him with a loving gaze. “Maybe next time… we could see a foreign film?”

Ailill chuckled to himself.

“What? What is it, Ailill? Is there something on my face?”

The man shook his head, leaning forward to caress the boy’s cheek the way he’d wanted to all night. “It’s nothing…”

And they kissed sweetly beneath the rays of the dying sun, all eager fingers and gentle touches and absolute certainty.