To Myself Before I Die

Life tore you apart too many times.
You bled the outside to kill the pain inside
You retreated to the dullest corner of your mind
Did it work? Did it make you feel complete again?

Do you remember how to smile?
Do you remember how to frown?
Can you still laugh? Can you still cry?
Will you ever love and hate again?

You tried creating yourself a whole new person
You gave her a name and tried her out for a while
But she had to stay hidden so the world wouldn't know
Did it work? Does she do the things you never could?

Do you remember who you are anymore?
Do you remember your own name?
Will you ever laugh again? Will you ever cry?
Can you ever go back to who you were before?

You say it hurts for you to smile
Is that because you are screaming inside?
You say that you can't cry anymore
Is it because you've given up on life?

Where do you go when you sleep at night?
Do you journey into a world of monsters,
Is it nightmares that trouble your sleep?
Or do you drift to a dreamland far away from life?

Do you think that dying will end this agony?
Do you conspire with yourself about ending it all?
Life seems a nightmare streching on for eternity
Neverending in it's purpose to cause you more pain

As you slide the blad across your wrist
Do you think that maybe this time will finish it?
As you watch the blood soak the ground beside you
Do you wonder about the great things you could have done?

By Sarah Odle