What lovely weather for the middle of winter, I wish it would snow just this once. It'd remind me of times when you were actually here with me, and not just in my mind. But the sun comes out too soon, and melts the frozen water that clings helplessly to the petals of the flower that you gave me. Would it be okay if I dropped it and walked away? You always told me to stay a child, to be a child forever, so that I could always have fun and not experience the heartbreak that later days would cause me, but it's not fair. It's not fair that being a child would shelter me from heartbreak, though many children have known it from the moment they could understand it, and even before they really could. Would it be okay if I grew up now? I'm tired of being so scared. We painted a fantasy with colors of blue, I didn't know what they meant. But even though you could sense that the colors were upsetting, I knew you were color-blind. I feel so selfish when I hesitate to listen to your words. Would it be okay if I pretend to be deaf? Your words can hurt so deeply. The seasons change so suddenly, the wind becoming warm. I wish the warmth was coming from you, and not from the breeze that wraps around me. The sky scares me, it's so wide, so endless, and so final. You tell me what it's like on the other side, but those words are only temporary. You say if I stumble to grab ahold of you, and you'll never let me fall, you'll be there to help me stand, until my legs are strong. A child in your arms, so scared of an eternity of tripping into darkness. Would it be okay if I rest a while? I'll try to keep up. I'll try to manage, on my own. Though I merely walk behind you, sadness makes me call out to you relentlessly, until my voice dies, and I stumble. I fall down alone. But that flower you gave me, I still hold in in my hands, still stare at it with wide, sad eyes, still bring it to my nose occassionally, like I never grew up. I always look at it when I feel alone, to make it feel like you're still here with me. I'm sad that the ice diamonds that rimmed it have melted to water tears. I still stare at it's color, though you couldn't tell it by sight, you knew it by heart. Red is for love, but it's the color of blood, as well. I hold the flower so fondly, my eyes never leaving the sight. Would it be okay if I dropped it and walked away?