Bleed On My Living Death

As I lie dying
in a pool of sins
As I lie screaming
among the shards of my innocence

I need You I need You I need You

Your blood to pour into my outstretched
hands and touch my lips to make me clean
Your hands invisible like ghosts to move
through my brain and bleed on all those
memories to wash away their poison

And I know it was me
who hammered those nails into Your beautiful hands
And I hate myself for the weakness that makes me do it again and again
And I know I am selfish
to lie at Your feet and thirst for Your crimson release
but to punish myself would only increase the cuts in Your skin and Your heart
And I know it should be me
hanging there in my suffering now and You should be free
Your innocent eyes without pain and your beautiful body untouched unstained unbroken

But we both know
I would be doomed and damned without You
Dead and forever perpetually painfully dying

6.4.06