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“Mason, what is that?”
“I don’t know. But, if I squint really hard, it looks like a donkey.”
“Looks more like a raccoon to me.”
“Only if the raccoon is rabid and has five legs.”
“Don’t all raccoons have five legs? All the ones near my house do.”
“Don’t you live near a nuclear power plant?”
“Yeah. So?”
“I’m just saying, your opinion of this might be slightly…mutated.”
“Mutated?”
“Never mind. What did you draw?”
“I drew a pony!”
“It looks like an apple.”
“It’s a magic transforming pony.”
“It looks like an apple.”
“Shut up! You’re just too not creative to see the pony!”
“Too not creative. At least I am articulate, unlike you, Jeanne.”
“I’m articulate! I’m so damn articulate that if I unleashed my articulucity your head would implode and your heart would turn into a greeting card. That’s how articulate I am!”
“Please shut up.”
“Make me!”
“FINE!”
“OW! MY ARM! YOU BIT MY ARM!”
“You asked for it.”
“Now I’m depressed.”
“Then eat some chocolate.”
“Why would I want to eat chocolate?”
“Scientists say that chocolate makes you happy.”
“Oh, scientists say that chocolate makes you happy. Well, do you know what else scientists say?”
“This is going to be really stupid, isn’t it?”
“They say we landed on the moon! Scientists do nothing but lie to us!”
“Yep, that was stupid. How can you possibly think that we didn’t land on the moon?!”
“The stars, Mason. The stars. Where are the stars in those pictures of the moon landing? CONSPIRACY! How can you think we did land on the moon?!”
“Oh my god, you’re just so stupid!”
“And how is the American flag billowing when there isn’t any wind? Answer me that!”
“Are you high?”
“I’m high on the truth, Mason. High on the truth.”
“Jeanne.”
“Yes?”
“You’re insane.”
“People keep saying that…”
