-HAIKU IN GRANDVIEW-

(That’s not supposed to rhyme, by the way)

I LOVE coffee with all of my heart. Sometimes if I drink too much coffee I get premature ventricular contractions. My heart doesn’t love it then, but my soul does. Yee-haw. Ahem, when I was in the snobbish land of Grandview one fine day, I decided to go to the coffee house Stauf’s. It has some of the best coffee in Columbus. Go there. And the people watching is good too. Anyway, when I was sitting in the center of the café, I decided to procrastinate homework and write haiku. These are all real events, FYI. Here we go…

People always stare
When I gnaw on biscotti
So I just glare back.

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How do the artsy
Buy all this gourmet coffee
With their student loans?

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We have the same name
But she actually has hips
And ugly glasses.

(about an employee)

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Out of season tunes
Disrupt students’ study time
In mod coffee shops.

(‘Jingle Bells’ started to play in the shop. I have no idea why)

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Ancient white-haired heads
Sit across from the other
With matching black mugs.

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Two old women friends
Reading the ‘Other Paper’
While eating cookies.

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Platinum blonde pigtales
And an Arcteryx sock hat
Causes flirtation.

(about a pissy girl who became miraculously doe-eyed and sweet when her boyfriend in a hat showed up in the shop. Aw :) it was so cute)

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Black, yellow and white
Mugs are sitting on a shelf
Ready to be sold.

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I would have to bet
That if there was no coffee
I would just chain smoke.

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All haiku written around noon on March 8th, 2006.