Useless Catch

By: Richard Lynch

o o o o o

Sharks gotta swim, bats gotta fly
I said I’d love you till I die
But as we shared that wedding waltz
I was blind to all of your faults

You came to me to be my love
It seemed a blessing from above
Until came the monthly thunder
And from heaven? I must wonder

Your friends came over every day
And I would beg them not to stay
But when I did get you alone…
You’d talk forever on the phone

I loved to listen to your song
(Of dinner cooking far too long!)
But still I ate and held my bile
Gagging while I tried to smile

At night I could never sleep
You would lay there without a peep
‘Twas cold amongst us two lovers
(‘Cause you always stole the covers!)

At morning you were quite the rube
You’d never close the toothpaste tube
Your coffee tasted like cham-poo
(And you’d take too long in the loo!)

But lives do part, and flowers die
Wheat makes bread and potatoes fry
I ask you now, I can not force…
But come on, baby, let’s divorce!

o o o o o