The Gay Man’s Kid Brother

Chapter Fourteen

And afterwards we’ll go for some sushi and rye

“Hi Sebastian! Hi Evan! I’m home!” Mom’s ever-familiar call sounds out, reverberating down the hallway, into the living room, and crashes into my ears. I moan under my breath, irritated now and shifting on the couch, still lying down on it though.

/I love my mom, I really do but… today’s just not my day, okay? I’m just so tired. Of everything. I was almost asleep too… crying, screaming, and being angry does that to me. Sucky./

I close my eyes, attempting to shut everything out, wanting to welcome the darkness and fall asleep – if it was even possible.

The door click shuts, the mechanical lock of the door catching my attention. It follows with mom’s shuffling along the front foyer; the noticeable opening and closing of the closet door as she obviously sheds her shoes and jackets in there. Her padded footsteps then come down the hallway, passing the kitchen and nearing the living room. The room I’m in.

“Evan… you all right, dear? You don’t feel sick, do you?” Mom’s concerned voice drifts into the living room, coming from on top of me now.

I shrug absently in response, letting loose a noncommittal grunt as I shift uncomfortably, adjusting my arm over my closed eyes.

/It’s a mom thing./

Mom’s warm hand rests on my forehead, her soft fingers and the gentle movement of her palm, soothing, and kind even. I hold back a pleased murmur, sighing quietly instead.

“Well… you’re not hot, you do seem fine, but… you’re not my normal Evan today, are you?” The last part of mom’s worried comment hums into a teasing chide, her hand falling to my cheek and pinching the remaining baby fat there, playfully.

I groan, annoyed; and swat at mom’s hand half heartedly, eyes still closed.

“Mom… stop… ” I whine, cheering inwardly when mom ceases her childish torture on my baby fat adorned cheeks. She chuckles quietly, her presence moving away from me and out of the living room.

“Where’s Sebastian, honey? Haven’t heard a peep from him this whole time I’ve been bothering you.” My eyebrows furrow at her last words, but I shrug nonchalantly, nonplussed about it.

“I dunno… ” I mumble past my arm, turning myself around so I was facing the inside of the couch now. I wriggle closer to the couch and hug the warmth, snuggling comfortably.

The sound of keys being inserted and clinking together as the door is unlocked, perks my attention.

/No… don’t let it be. C’mon, god! Give me at least another half hour, here! Christ./

“Hi, mom, sorry… I was out.” With the low and hushed tone of his voice from the front foyer – I freeze. Not only my body, but my heart too; even my brain decides to take a vacation and leap off Mount Everest for a change.

/It’s a weird feeling, freezing is./

“Sebastian! Nothing to worry about, dear, was just curious where you were.” Mom’s voice calls out, slapping at my frozen self and working its way through my immobile body. Her motherliness was taking its toll. “So. Where were you?” The question is blunt and not too discreet, the rustling of a jacket being taken off; following after.

“Just out. Needed some air.”

/I hear you…/

“Have plenty of that in here, dear.”

“You know what I mean—”

“Yes, I know, I’m just teasing you. Why didn’t you take Evan with you? I found him lying on the couch by himself.” I inhale a quick breath, scared out of my fucking mind on what Sebastian’s answer is going to be.

/What’s Sebastian going to say?! ‘Oh, I didn’t feel like taking Evan with me considering the fact he just bashed me! His own brother.’ I’m a bastard. A stupid, fat, retarded, dumbass, bastard. I deserve to die – but not before Sebastian gives a reason. Or I do at least!/

“I wasn’t feeling good!” I yell out hoarsely, yawning largely at the same time and sensing tears coming to my eyes.

/… at least it wasn’t for something stupid I said. Sort of. Blah./

“Are you still not feeling good, honey? If you’re not, I can get you some—”

“I’m fine now, mom. I was just… tired, needed some sleep, is all.” I say this quickly, not wanting to lie anymore to mom – but if thought about hard enough, I wasn’t lying to her. Too much, anyway.

Suddenly everything is dark, causing me to strangle a whimper, batting away at the material on top of me.

“It was in my car.” I peek past the material, hugging it to my chest. Sebastian’s voice is short and distant, dulled green eyes looking down at me blankly. I wince and cower below his gaze, guilt coming up my throat and choking back any sounds or any words I would have been able to stammer. I notice his hand moving towards me, causing me to push closer into the couch, closing my eyes tightly and swallowing a soft sob.

/He’s going to hit me – I deserve it, though! But… I’m still scared, damnit. Sebastian’s never hit me before, but then again… I’ve never bashed him like a homophobic hillbilly before, now have I? Don’t answer that. I’m screwed./

Something soft and comforting brushes across my cheek, seemingly reluctant fingers trace irregular patterns against my skin. I quiver in response; eyelashes fluttering in held back… something.

“You’re welcome… ” Sebastian’s husky voice whispers, alongside his feather touches that lift off my cheeks.

“Sebastian, Evan.. what do you two want for dinner? We’ve got leftovers in the fridge, but I thought you might want something different… perhaps I’ll spice things up with a little oregano here, and some stir-fry there… I could really make something here… ” mom trails off to herself, obviously cooking something up in that resourceful head of hers. She’s a mom; they’re automated with that type of stuff.

“Let me give you a hand, mom.” Sebastian’s presence disappears with his voice, leaving behind a tangible feeling that bubbles in the pit of my stomach.

I hugged the material closer, noting the cuffs and familiar warmth.

My coat.

An awkward heat blooms across my cheeks, one of those nervous and uncertain blushes coming up again. I blink my eyes open, being greeted by blurry sights, but I ignore that. I can’t seem to ignore that tingling feeling that crawls on my cheeks, wherever Sebastian had touched me.

“Thanks… ” I gush quietly, to nobody in particular but myself and that thing, that thing Sebastian had left behind.

/Maybe… just maybe, Sebastian doesn’t hate me. Too much./

gay

Function: noun

a man whose sexual orientation is to men: an alliance of gays and lesbians.