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BEGINNING SONG- I like this story so much... I think it's one of my all time favorites!
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I watch him as he sits in the chair across the room from me, his face sober and still, the very antithesis of how his hands moved quickly and lightly over his keyboard.
I can't help but wonder, "I'm supposed to love him?"
His head dips just for a second, and the light bounces off the top of his hair, as if he's heard me. I know he hasn't, but I still look away.
But the action was foolish; I look back after only a second.
His hands have stilled.
What does he think about?
I daydream about the nights and the days that have passed like this, a cycle I honestly didn't think I wanted to break.
I...I like him like this. Quiet and almost broken, seemingly a dead man to the people who watch him with loud questioning eyes that follow as his body participates in life; but his mind and soul just sit back and anticipate something maybe never thought up.
How long has he been like this?
Not too long, if you're counting the days, the time between here and here. Forever, if you count with your heart beats, the only reliable measure of time's passing fancy.
He sits in that same chair, looking out of the window sometimes as harsh snow falls gently to the ground, and as the winter sun burns through his irises.
When I pass him, I touch his shoulder, his face, just to make sure he hasn't died quietly and peacefully while everything around him churned.
He's never dead.
It disappoints me once in a while.
Sometimes, I want him to be dead. I want him to be gone, so he can... move. It's only logical, if he is so still and beautiful in life, then in death he must be vibrant and grotesque...
I want him to be nothing more then a corpse, a hollow shell of the silent insecurities that must be claiming him hostage.
Other times, I could cry with relief.
Another day he isn't dead is another day I can watch him.
I'm waiting for him. He's going to do something sooner or later, and I have no doubt that whatever he does will shake my life from it's already shaky foundation, and... I'll never be able to leave him.
When he starts to talk, I don't hear him, nor really, because... well, he isn't really talking.
"I want it to be over. This and... would that change? Could it?"
I sit silently and watch him move his mouth. Do I answer him? How do I answer him? If I do, will everything be... different? "I don't know..." I whisper aloud, more of an answer to myself, then to the words he spoke.
But maybe it was okay, because he finally turns from the computer he had been typing on, and looks at me.
I flinch.
When he looks at me, he looks. There's nothing hidden because he tears everything away greedily, with no thought of permission or tact.
We stare at each other, wanting the other to move first, but too scared to wait for it. A battle of wills that were broken, a battle for something shining and bright that lingered in our minds.
And slowly, his lips curl up, and I realize that I have just given him... everything.
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-fin-
ENDING SONG- I hope you guys all liked it, please review, for it makes the me happy!