Uncontrolled

One…
Two…
Three…
Watch as I can swiftly move the blades,
See closely.
Look at my eyes as I do this,
Watch them hesitate,
Bleed tears.

Completely uncontrolled as I hurt my body,
Kill off the skin I permanently live in.
Emotions spilling over the top of me,
Unable to stop this plight.

Emotions uncontrolled.
Completely uncontrolled.
Working their sweet way into my sleeves.
Making me die on the inside.

Tears bleed from my eyes
As I manage to sit there without moving.
Uncontrolled movements from my hands.
Never realising until it’s over,
Too much for me…

Uncontrolled movements,
Hurried stupidly along my arm.
Three…
Two…
One…
Taking it all back,
Taking back all the uncontrolled actions.
(I wish I could…)