Did I Really Get What I Wished For?3-6-06Brittany Ariana Stone

Did I really get what I wished for?

The time since my fourteenth year has changed me so,

But the pain of love is still a deep puncture wound to the heart that has refused to clot because the scab gets ripped off again and again.

It is always sure to remind me of the pain

Like small shards of shattered glass that become embedded in a finger or a foot; causing pain at movement and constant bleeding

Ever time that I begin to think that I’m all-better, the glass breaks again. And I’m left that way. Unable to heal. Damaged goods.

But during that time I had hope that kept me waking up each day.

Hope that I could learn to love someone again, and that they would love me too

I wished that I would become somebody’s baby. Somebody’s somebody. Somebody’s sweetheart.

That someone would finally love me the way that I loved them, and I would feel free to be me during this time; nothing more, nothing less.

But the fear of heartbreak and hatred are still fresh in my mind

I’m afraid that a good attribute will be stifled, while a bad magnified.

Afraid that the person would find a way to break my heart again. Find a flaw and never let it go.

I wished that this time would be different. Because the worst of the world’s tortures cannot compare to the feel of a broken heart or unreturned, unrequited love.

Please let my wish come true…