Pride,

Hers was always cut away slowly…

Painfully.

She could not even put up a good defense,

That brought guilt…

Guilt always seemed to overwhelm her senses.

It was being chipped away…

Slowly…

Painfully…

Mercilessly…

She would never escape.

Why was she so angry?

“My pride feels cut up and disregarded.”

Harsh cold cruel answers came next.

Her birth…

Her awful birth that was degrading…

To her mother.

She would always be the thorn in the side…

Even if her mother did love her…

She was always remembered along with her birth.

Guilt overwhelmed her.

Who was she to criticize?

She would never be free.

Her pride became more battered…

Along with her dignity…

And honor.

Her already pitiful defense steadily became worse.

Any defense she made…

Was thrown back into her face…

By players of words…

Something she would never be.

Never even come close to being good at.

Another defense broken…

Thrown back in her face…

Guilt made her gasp for air.

Who was she?

To question the path set for her by her parents.

Already she was finding their traits in her…

Children are doomed to follow their raisers.

Anytime she accused her sister of something,

Sister made a defense…

She threw it back into the sister’s face.

Guilt flooded her as hurt echoed across the girls’ face.

“You’re just being mean!

You know perfectly well that what I said is true!

Don’t make me follow in your footsteps!”

Her sister stormed off.

Admiration filled her chest.

One would escape…

One of us would escape.

One of us was no coward…

But she had courage.

She tried it once…

But the hurt on her mother’s face kept her from uttering her last defense…

That would have ended everything...

It might have shattered their delicate relationship.

Guilt…

Why was that so closely linked to the pride being chipped away?

Her mouth closed.

“I’m sorry, I- I’m just tired. I didn’t mean it.”

Her mother left.

The unspoken words that would have freed her soul…

The ones aching to burst from her throat.

The ones that would have dispersed the smothering fire…

Lingered in her mind.

All hope in this matter died.

The threats always lingered in her mind.

Her tongue always had to be watched,

In case it slipped out of her control and brought more pain and guilt.

The little girl inside her head, screamed…

‘Don’t make me make the same mistakes you did!’

But it was already to late…

yippee lots of angst i don't know where i come up with this stuff... sigh

rini thinks it's sad