His fur was gorgeous in the firelight. Biting back a sorrowful noise at my limited concentration I nodded in agreement. “I was human. Like you, I cared little for the corrupt wrongness of the world I lived in. This place seemed inviting. But In the Kingdom I was constantly fighting. Survival was no easier here than there, the paths simply different. I knew I couldn’t stay the night I…” his voice faltered but resumed its monotone as though it had never been interrupted. “I raped a girl. A cat-girl. She was in heat. She was willing. Her body was willing. It wasn’t really rape, but it felt like it. I remained for a while, wanted to protect her, felt I owed her that much. She mistrusted me because no other male acted as I did. When her pregnancy was nearing completion the elder females fought me. My place was not with her. In their minds, in this land, my role was clearly defined. I made myself a home here, on the outskirts. I’m no more fitted to here than I was as a human. I remain an outcast. I intend to remain so. Now will you leave?”

Speechless I lowered my head between my paws, desiring to comfort him in my presence but realizing the risk of losing ourselves could not be overcome. “I still don’t know where I belong.” I whispered, knowing only Shayden could hear me. “I thought it was here, being a mother, or a caretaker, but it’s not progress, it’s not even regression. It’s just not right, is it?” Sighing I watched Nightseer rotate, his tail motionless. “We’re humans, selfishness has condemned us now. What was your name?”

“Shay. Shayden. Hassling”

“How old are you now?”

“If I were human, I would be twenty. You’re not going to leave are you?”

“It would be better if I did. But if we are human still, do not fit, we can stifle these enhanced instincts and help each other. That’s what I’d like.”

“Is that possible, you saw what happened. We cannot control it.”

“We must.” I began to shake. Something was welling inside me. I let out a fearful cry.

“Rayne?” Ethera was at my side instantly. “Rayne, what’s wrong? Rayne!”

My body was convulsing. Was escaping one’s fate punishable by death? Faded callings of my name lingered then skipped away as I snuggled into the warm darkness. Poor Shayden. We’d wanted the same thing, really, but had both looked in the wrong place. I sank lower and could feel the temperature decreasing. I began to shiver. Take us back. Take us all back so we can live again. If we meet, maybe this can all be undone. Maybe we can find peace and acceptance…

I woke with my head in someone’s lap. Shayden Hassling was peering down at me, dried tears on his cheeks. “You stubborn little cat-girl.” His kiss was sweet, lingering, sad.

“You’re from before, aren’t you?” I whispered, tired all over, finding it hard to breathe.

“You’re Rayne Shelley. I never knew you would.”

“Hush, it’s alright now. Where’s Ethera?” My ears twitched involuntarily.

“She’s consulting with the elders.” His gaze was soft; I felt I could fall into them… “We’re the same, but reversed, how can that be?”

“I’ve given up on that question.” I sighed, for the first time, really content. “We find our own answers.” His paw smoothed back my hair and I purred. Our bodies were silent. We were simply Shay and Ray; humans in furry bodies. Thank goodness.

Sunlight had melted away again before Ethera returned. Shayden and Rayne had dozed for a while then talked then dozed. The air was different, softer. Ethera no longer feared their loss of self though no logical reason presented itself. They had not changed, the situation remained. Now what would be done? “We have concluded, “she knelt by them, an alien wetness sliding down her cheeks, “that you must go together.”

“Together?” Rayne inquired.

“To where?” Shayden responded.

“Back to your realm, your home. The Will of things has put you here, in the same instance, with similar origins so that you may learn and return. I sound all-knowing but I know so very little friends. I live and, like you, learn.”

“Why do you cry?” Shayden’s eyes were warm. “Should it not be joy for us all?”

“I have discovered something true. You are closer to me than you think.” A glance at Nightseer changed her expression to one of amusement. “Or perhaps not.”

“How are we to return Ethera? And why do you continue to refer to him as Nightseer?” Rayne shifted into a half-seated position her strength still wanting. “And why do I have these fits?”

“As I say, I don’t know everything but, in contrast to what may appear to be weakness on your part, these fits may actually be the groundwork for returning to your life. Our theory, and it remains pure theory, is that your mind has been weaving a path back to the place you desire to be. These fits are brought on by the power of exertion needed to maintain contact between your Earth and this place. They grow stronger because you grow closer. Before they merely amplified emotions and instincts, reverting back to body rather than a proper unity; now both are beginning to fade. Many times Shay thought you would melt right between his paws.”
Shay’s expression of concern confirmed this remark and Rayne shivered at the thought of literally dissolving. “Then I should have no trouble returning home when the next fit takes me, so long as I do not resist?”

“Optimally yes but I do not want to take a chance that you should end up stuck, or someplace more alien. There is a ritual that we can perform here, tonight that will transport you and Shay back to your human world.”

“But, hasn’t Shay?”

“Yes, haven’t I been here too long to return?”

“You can return together, that is all I know.”

“Well, vaguery always was the way of the mystical.” Shayden grinned and Rayne giggled happily, weightless joy intoxicating her beautifully.

“You never answered my other question.” Rayne recovered enough to say.

“Regarding Shayden as Nightseer. He has visions, many of which are significant. He works with the elves, though not directly, since his influence is very helpful to us in our maintence of this world. But his will is also tortured by his being imprisoned and we wish to eradicate unease if it is within our power to do so.”

“What will this ritual entail?” A note of suspicion had entered Shayden’s voice and Rayne became nervous.

“The desire to return home together. That is all.”

“Why does simple hardly ever mean easy.” Shayden whispered, seeming to forget that Rayne could hear his cat-tone.

“Because that is the way,” she replied, accompanying it with an embrace, “without challenge there is no growth.”

Do you love me though we have just met? Can life be beyond this struggle of give and take, produce and consume? Touch my nose to yours and peer into me, for I am you and all is me. Rayne panted as she danced, the words igniting her will and body as the fire licked at her heels. Shayden Nightseer had closed his eyes but his lips echoed her thoughts. Ethera had built the flames high and amongst the smoke tangled puzzles of meaning wove and unwove in the air. Do not stand separate from the dance my fellow, join and be whole. Shayden stood. Though one could not say he danced as Rayne did his movements melded in the heat as sweat rolled down his tense back. Where there had been sexual power there was now something else. Consuming and intensifying. They wove closer until their arms encircled one another. They did not touch but their gazes held. I do not know what’ll happen on the other side but I have seen a glimpse of your true being. I believe we will be fine.
We will, I believe it though doubt may assuage my belief I will remember this night, our communion and believe again.