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Hello! I hope you like this. And, please, excuse me for anything I do to massacre what happens when you’re pregnant and the process to find if you’re pregnant or a virgin. I’m sure I massacred ittons.
Enjoy!
The Neglection of the Birds and the Bees
1
The Virgin Mother
Oh, someone, please, the moon has raped me
I can feel it inside me
Oh, mama, please let someone fix me!
Let them fix me, uh huh
Let them fix me, uh huh
The Lament of Pretty Baby by Cursive
Ebony walked a little faster, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up. Someone was following her. She could feel the eyes on her, hear the footsteps that weren't quite matched with hers.
The footsteps behind her sped up as well. She looked back but could see nothing. She looked forward and could feel them, right behind her. Any second now they would reach out and grab her and nobody would be around to hear her scream.
Ebony let go of any semblance of being calm and broke into a sprint. Behind her she knew someone else was sprinting. Someone she couldn't see but could certainly hear.
The person was gaining. She could hear heavy footsteps and heavy breath, coming ever closer. She wouldn't make it to her house in time. She knew that, and knew also that she couldn't let the person behind her catch her.
There was only one thing she could do. Swerving off the sidewalk, she ran as fast as she could to the nearest house, hoping for all that she was worth that the person pursuing her wouldn't be able to catch her before she reached the door, but knowing that, in the pause it took to open the door - if it was even unlocked - the person would most likely grab her.
Just before she reached the steps to the house, the door opened and a male figure stood before her.
"Let me in, please!" she screamed at him, not bothering to see who it was.
She could feel hands touch her hair...
Suddenly there was a feminine "oof!" and the sound of someone stumbling to the ground. Ebony sprinted as fast as she could, her breath coming in short spurts. She slowed down just before she ran past the figure in the doorway and stopped when he shut and locked the door behind her.
Collapsing onto an overstuffed chair, she tried to regain her breath. As she put her head in her hands and breathed as slowly as she could, she could see the man's feet silently walk from the room. Half a minute later he returned. Ebony looked up to see him holding out a glass of water.
"Are you alright?" he asked in concern.
She looked at him closely for the first time. Black-red hair, dark gray eyes, pale face…Ebony swore. She knew him. He was new to her school, having only arrived a week ago - however, they had already not gotten along well. Or, rather, Ebony hadn’t gotten on well with him. He didn’t seem to have any trouble with Ebony.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she growled automatically, not really thinking of what she was saying. Really, she was trying not to think at all.
If she did think, she would have to think of the very real fact that the person she had felt follow her around for two weeks had finally tried to seize her, and that very same person (who had sounded like a woman) was very much invisible.
Damien Rose lifted an eyebrow. “This is my home, Ebony.”
Ebony groaned and leaned back against the chair. “I know. I know. I just…God, do you have any idea what the fuck is happening to me? Because I don’t. Who the hell was that? Why couldn’t I see them? Why the hell do they want me? I’m nobody, Damien! Absolutely nobody. Okay? Okay. Good.”
Damien chuckled softly. “You aren’t nobody, Ebony.”
Ebony glared at him. “I want to be nobody, Damien. If I’m nobody, nobody chases me. Especially not…invisible people. And stop it with the accent, would you? It’s grating on my nerves.”
He grinned. “I can’t just stop my accent, Ebony. I’m sure my American accent would grate on your nerves much more than my real one.”
She groaned once more. “You know, what the hell country are you from anyway? You’ve never said. How the hell am I supposed to know if you’ve never said?”
“I don’t expect you to know,” he answered. “Never said I did.”
She groaned louder this time, pulling at her hair. “I’m having a mental breakdown. A mid-life crisis. Or a fucking teenage crisis, what the hell do I care? My point is, I need sleep, I need chocolate, I need to know what the hell is happening, and I need to know what the bloody hell country you come from!”
Damien only laughed as Ebony groaned even more. “God! Damien! You’re rubbing off on me. I’ve never said bloody before. Have you ever heard me say it? Because I definitely never have, and Americans don’t. Ever. Unless stupid, moronic, bastards like you decide to come in, disrupt my life, and make me say words I’ve never said before!”
Ebony waved her hands around dramatically in the air as she spoke.
“La - Lord, Ebony, I’ve never seen you quite so utterly a mess,” Damien informed her. “Let’s get you to bed before you spontaneously combust or start hyperventilating or something equally dreadful.”
He grabbed her elbow to help her from the couch, but she just snatched it away again and stormed off out of the living room with as much dignity as she could gather up - which resulted in pretty much nothing.
Her dignity vanished completely as she stopped and looked back at Damien with wild, hopeless eyes. “Where the fuck is a bed? I need a goddamned bed.”
He pointed to the stairs and she walked up, Damien following behind. At the top of the stairs she paused and he pointed out a door silently. Ebony walked to it and opened it without a word to find a neat, orderly, obviously unused room. She sighed with relief as she saw the bed and collapsed into it, closing her eyes.
“Good night, Ebony,” Damien said quietly, leaving the door open slightly and walking to his own room across the hall.
Where is the blasted bathroom?
Ebony was having more trouble holding it in. If she didn’t find the bathroom soon…
The door across the hall opened to an alarmed Damien. When he saw her, his face melted into concern and he walked swiftly over to her, grabbing her arms.
“Come on to the bathroom, Ebony,” he said gently.
“Da - “ she began. She couldn’t finish his name. She threw up.
Damien stepped back quickly, swearing under his breath. As Ebony continued to retch, he moved behind her, grabbed her hair, and gently guided her to the bathroom at the end of the hall. She continued retching into the toilet for a few minutes before her stomach was finally emptied. She laid her head on the toilet seat.
“Oh, God,” she grumbled. She turned her head so it was facing Damien but still resting on the toilet. “I hate you.”
Damien gave the raised eyebrow that Ebony was beginning to know and hate him for. “Me? Why do you hate me?”
She wrinkled her nose and buried her head in her arms. “I hate you because - damn it, leave me the hell alone.”
Damien smiled and stood up. Ebony, expecting him to leave, sank down completely to the floor, lying on her back, her hands covering her face. Then she heard the water to the shower running and looked to see Damien still standing there.
“You aren’t planning on taking a shower while I’m still in here, are you?” she asked cautiously.
He shook his head, grinning at her. “Nope. This is for you. You need it. You smell.”
Ebony rose to a sitting position and rolled her eyes at him. “Ha. I smell? Smell yourself. I managed to get some ofmy vomit away from me. Most of it landed on you.”
“Yes, thanks for that,” Damien replied sarcastically, but his smile ruined the effect.
Ebony scowled at him. “Why do you always have to smile? See, that is a very good example on why I hate you.”
Damien raised an eyebrow, looking amused. “You hate me because I smile?”
She glared defiantly at him. “Yes, I do. Now get out so I can take a shower.”
“Why, of course, my dearest lady,” he replied, dodging a half-heartedly thrown washcloth Ebony had found sitting conveniently on the edge of the tub.
After he had pointed out the towels and left, Ebony got up, pulled off her clothes, and stepped into the hot shower, emptying her mind of all unwanted thought.
Well, okay…several towels. One wrappedaround her waist, covering her legs, one wrapped under her arms, covering her chest and stomach, one clutched around her shoulders, covering everything else, and one wrapping her hair.
But, still, she wasn’t clothed.
“Damien!” she yelled out.
A moment’s pause, and then, “Yeah?”
Damien’s head popped out of his room, and then his whole body, looking around.
“Don’t look in the hallway, I’m coming out,” Ebony informed him, glaring.
Damien looked over to where her head could barely be seen and smiled in amusement. “Of course.”
She glared at him until he closed his door. Opening the door the rest of the way, she quickly walked over to her room, glaring at Damien’s closed door, making sure it wasn’t opened. Once inside, she paused. Shit. First of all, she had left her clothes in the bathroom, and second of all, it didn’t matter anyway, because they were covered in vomit.
Ebony groaned. She should have had Damien wash them while she was in the shower. Damn it. What the hell was she supposed to do now?
A second later there was a knock on her door. Frowning, Ebony opened it very slightly and angled her body so only her head was showing.
“What?” she asked, scowling.
“Thought you might need some clothes,” Damien said, smiling brightly. He held up a pair of red flannel pajamas.
She glared suspiciously at them. Damien laughed at her expression.
“They’re just pajamas, Ebony,” he said, laughing. “They’re my old ones. Were my favorite pair, actually, but they shrank in that blasted dryer.”
Ebony grabbed them from him. “Don’t know how to use a dryer?”
Damien shrugged, looking uncomfortable for the first time since Ebony had seen him. “Never had to.”
Ebony snorted. “Figures. Probably had a bloody maid.”
Ebony scowled when she realized what she had said.
Laughing, Damien said, “Something like that, yeah.”
She rolled her eyes and asked him, “Have you got my clothes?”
Damien nodded before turning around, bending down, and standing up again with a basket of laundry, her clothes on the top. “Yup. They’re right here. I was going to wash them for you. And don’t worry, I’ve learned how to wash clothes.”
“Good for you,” Ebony said. She reached out a hand and looked through her clothes before grabbing her bra and underpants. “Now go away.”
Damien grinned at her. “Will do.”
Damien winked and closed the door.
“I hate you!” she yelled after him.
“You really don’t have to keep up the pretense, Ebony,” he called out.
Ebony sputtered angrily and wrenched the door open, clutching the towel around her shoulders tightly. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Damien turned around and smiled cheerfully at her before looking to what she was wearing. Ebony clutched the towel around her shoulders even tighter. He raised an eyebrow.
“You were afraid of me seeing you like that?” he asked, amused. “You’re wearing more than you were before your shower.”
Ebony rolled her eyes. “Shut up. Now what the hell did you mean?”
“By what?”
“By what you said!” Ebony exploded in exasperation.
Damien smiled at her, mischief and laughter showing clearly in his eyes. “I was joking, Ebony. Although now I know someone’s a bit defensive.”
“I am not defensive, I was just unsure of what you meant,” Ebony informed him, glaring.
Damien shrugged and walked away. “If you say so.”
Ebony growled once more before shutting the door to her room and changing.
Walking into the kitchen, stomach rumbling, Ebony looked to find Damien at the stove cooking eggs, bacon, and sausage. The toaster popped and a bagel was revealed.
“You know how to cook?” she asked in surprise. She hadn’t suspected someone who didn’t even know how to wash clothes know how to cook.
Damien nodded proudly. “I just learned, too. I’ve found I’m quite good at it. Well, at sausage and eggs and bacon. I haven’t tried much else. Hotdogs, grilled cheese, and soup, though, I know that. And cake from the box. And Raman noodles.”
He paused thoughtfully. “I know quite a lot, don’t I?”
Ebony rolled her eyes and leaned forward to inspect the sausage. “The easy stuff, at least.”
Damien tried to look affronted but didn’t quite manage. “And you can do better?”
Ebony raised an eyebrow. “Of course I can. I’ve made pizza before, I’ll have you know. By scratch.”
“And how did it turn out?” Damien asked.
She wrinkled her nose at him and turned away to inspect the eggs. “Fine. It was only a little burnt.”
Damien’s mouth was threatening to break out into a full-fledged grin. “Only a little?”
Ebony turned off the burner where the eggs were and glared at him. “It was edible.”
Damien laughed. “I’m sure.”
“The eggs are done,” Ebony pointed out needlessly, ignoring his last comment.
“Wonderful,” Damien said, grinning at her. He inspected the other food. “Hm. Let’s eat the eggs while the rest cooks.”
Ebony nodded. “Right.”
Damien went to the cabinet and pulled out two plates and proceeded to get two forks from the drawer. He handed a plate and a fork to Ebony. She took it without saying thank you and began to scoop eggs onto her plate.
Damien laughed, something he seemed to do a lot. “Save some for me.”
Ebony rolled her eyes - something she seemed to do a lot - and said, “There’s plenty. I’m bloody hungry.”
“You - “
Ebony glared at him and snapped, “I know I’ve said it again. I give up. I’ll say it all I bloody well want. See? There you go. I’ve said it again. And I’ll keep saying it.”
Damien laughed and Ebony just rolled her eyes yet again. “You know, you could have gotten ‘bloody’ from Harry Potter.”
Ebony shook her head. “No, no, I’m pretty sure it’s all your fault. It’s always your fault, see.”
Damien pretended to be intrigued and nodded slowly. “Hm. I see. Thank you for your analysis.”
Ebony put on a haughty face and said, “You’re welcome.”
As Damien laughed, Ebony turned away and looked at the sausage and bacon. “I think the sausage and bacon are done.”
Damien looked over and nodded. Ebony turned off the burners and put food on her plate as Damien took the bagel from the toaster and began spreading cream cheese on it. When he was finished, Ebony snatched it and walked over to the table to sit down.
“Mm, good,” Ebony said happily as she took a bite from the bagel.
Damien raised an eyebrow. “You do know I made that for myself.”
Ebony shrugged and smiled sarcastically at him. “Well, see, I’m hungry.”
Damien nodded slowly. “Ah. That makes complete sense.”
“Well, yes, I know,” Ebony said. She went back to her bagel.
Laughing – which he did at the smallest provocation, Ebony noted with annoyance - he put another bagel in the toaster and loaded his plate with food. He sat down and the two began to eat in acomfortable silence.
“I still don’t like you, you know,” Ebony said after awhile.
Damien looked up from his eggs with a raised eyebrow.
“That’s something everyone wants to hear,” Damien commented, smiling.
Ebony scowled at him. “You do realize you’re smiling?”
Damien’s smile stretched even wider. “Yes, I do believe so.”
Ebony glared at him. “You’re bloody annoying. Do you stop smiling at any point?”
Damien laughed softly. “Only if I stop finding something amusing.”
“I take it that would be a ‘no, Ebony, I don’t ever stop smiling,’” she said irritably.
He grinned. “If you want, I could say that.”
Ebony rolled her eyes again and finished off the last of her food.
“You don’t happen to have anything to drink, do you?” she asked.
“I have orange juice,” he said.
“I don’t like orange juice.”
Damien stood up and opened the fridge, peeing inside. “I have apple juice.”
“I don’t like apple juice.”
“I have milk.”
“I don’t like milk.”
“Do you like grape juice?”
“No.”
“Hm…strawberry-banana Kool-Aid?”
“I hate bananas.”
Ebony glared at him and saw a small smile on his face.
“Why are you smiling?” she snapped.
The smile got mysteriously bigger.
“No reason,” he said. “I just like smiling.”
“You’re smiling because of something,” she said. “What is it?”
He grinned fully.
Ebony squinted her eyes at him. “You’re acting mysterious. What the hell is your problem?”
“Nothing.”
Ebony groaned and stood up, pushing him aside. She peered into the fridge.
“You asshole,” she said. “All you have is Sunny D and orange pop.”
Damien let out a laugh and peered into the fridge beside her. “Well, would you look at that.”
Ebony grabbed the Sunny D, shoved him out of the way, and set the drink on the table. “Where’s a cup?”
Damien reached into a cupboard and pulled out a black mug. Ebony grabbed it from him and poured some Sunny D into the mug. She took a large gulp before walking out of the kitchen into the living room and sitting on a couch.
“Where’s the TV?” Ebony answered.
“I don’t have one,” Damien answered.
Ebony looked at him incredulously. “I hate you.”
Damien sat down beside her on the couch, ignoring Ebony’s conspicuous attempts to move as far away from him on the couch as she could.
“Do you really like television that much?” he asked, forming the question as if he had thought different.
Ebony rolled her eyes. “Who cares? I just feel like being lazy right now. God.”
“I have a library,” Damien said. “You might find a book you like.”
“You have a library?” Ebony asked, trying to keep the hope out of her voice. “In your house?”
Damien nodded. “It used to be an extra living room, but I put in some bookshelves and books.”
Ebony stood up and followed Damien out of the room. “I doubt you have any books I like.”
Damien laughed. “You never know. Maybe we have the same taste in books.”
“I doubt it.”
Damien led her into a warm, comfortable room with bookshelves lining the walls, one bookshelf in the middle of the room, and comfy armchairs dotted throughout.
“Those are all young adult and children books,” Damien said, pointing to the shelf in the middle. “Those are reference books and non-fiction books.” He pointed to one of the walls. “The rest are just regular fiction.”
Ebony went over to the shelf in the middle and looked at the books. “Why do you have young adult and children books here? You don’t seem the type to like those books.”
Damien grinned. “I like to be prepared for anyone.”
Ebony rolled her eyes and drifted over to the fiction section. She grabbed an old favorite, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and sunk into a large, plush chair.
“What are you still doing here?” Ebony asked, looking up from her book to see Damien grinning down at her.
“Just looking at you.”
Ebony glared at him and shifted in her seat. “Well, don’t.”
Damien sat in a chair next to hers and she pointedly ignored him.
Damien broke the silence after a few minutes. “Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday, Ebony?”
She didn’t look up from her book. “No.”
“You don’t want to know who was chasing you?” Damien questioned. “You don’t want to know how they were invisible?”
“Shut up,” Ebony snapped, finally looking up. “I can’t deal with this, Damien. I feel nauseous and I really don’t want to bother digesting any of this. Okay?”
“I’m sorry,” Damien said gently. “I’ll leave you alone for now. But we will have to talk about it eventually, Ebony.”
Ebony ignored him. Damien stood up and retrieved a book from the shelf, returning with it to the chair. An hour later, Damien ventured to speak again, but wisely, not about what had happened yesterday.
“When are you planning on going home?”
Ebony glared at him.
Or perhaps not so wisely.
“What, do you want me to leave?” Ebony asked.
Damien grinned at her. “Of course not. I was just wondering.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t feel like going home just yet,” she said.
“I thought you hated me.”
“I do,” she said. “I just would rather be here than home.”
Damien continued to look at her curiously. Ebony could feel his eyes on her and looked up from her book with an annoyed sigh.
“If you must know, Martha is being a bitch because she’s pregnant and she won’t stop yelling. Not that she actually yells at anyone in particular. I think she just likes yelling for the fun of it.”
Damien grinned. “Won’t she worry about you?”
“No,” Ebony said. “I told Ivory I was going to my friend’s house. When I got there, of course, she wasn’t even there. But Ivory thinks I’m there, so she’ll tell Martha I am.”
“Who are Martha and Ivory?” Damien asked.
“Martha is my adopted mother and Ivory is my adopted sister,” Ebony said. “Now go away, talking is making my head hurt.”
“Are you okay?” Damien asked.
Ebony glared at him and returned to her book. “I’m fine. Just nauseous.”
The next day Ebony had to return home, as it was Sunday and she would have to go to school the next day. She slipped into the house quietly, trying to avoid Martha.
Of course she had never been lucky, and Martha was very accomplished at finding someone to yell at.
“Ebony?” Martha said in a shrill voice, waddling into the parlor. She wasn’t quite used to the extra weight on her stomach yet. “Is that you?”
Ebony sighed in defeat. “Yes, Martha.”
“Finally,” Martha said. “Where have you been since Friday? There’s been so much work around here, and no one to do it! I certainly can’t, not with this – this thing in me.”
“Didn’t Ivory tell you I was staying over at Athena’s?” Ebony said.
“Yes, well, I need you more,” Martha grumbled. “I have a baby in me, Ebony.”
“So does Athena’s mother, Martha, and she only has Athena to take care of her,” Ebony said. “You have me, Ivory, and Ray.”
Martha scoffed. “Jade’s a strong woman. She can take care of herself.”
Ebony rolled her eyes and attempted to walk past Martha and make a quick getaway to her room.
“And where do you think you’re going, young lady!” Martha shrilled. Ebony stopped walking. “I need someone to clean the kitchen! It’s absolutely disgraceful! And since Ivory and Ray seem to be nowhere to be found, you must clean it! Now!”
Ebony went to the kitchen tiredly.
“God, you’re a bitch when you’re pregnant,” Ebony mumbled loud enough for Martha to hear.
“Yeah, well, I’m allowed to be!” Martha screeched to her retreating form.
Ebony only growled in annoyance and continued to the kitchen.
“You’ve gotten better at making it there,” Ivory said, a smile playing on her lips.
Ebony groaned and sat down on the floor. “What’s wrong with me, Ivory? I keep on throwing up, I’m nauseous, I’m tired all the time…”
Ivory smiled at her. “Maybe you’re pregnant…?”
Ebony rolled her eyes. “Being pregnant, Ivory, requires having had sex.”
“Well, you know, with all this new-fangled technology…” Ivory said, her eyes twinkling.
“Go away,” Ebony said half-heartedly.
Martha waddled into the bathroom.
“Ugh,” she grunted. “It smells. Are you still sick, Ebony?”
Ebony only groaned.
“Well, come on then, let’s take you to thedoctor’s,” Martha said.
“But – Martha, I’m fine!” Ebony protested.
“Oh, I’m sure,” Martha said. “Come on, Ebony, I’m not having you die on me. Wash up and then get in the car. I’ve already made an appointment.”
Ivory grinned at Ebony. “Come on, Sick One.”
Ebony groaned again.
Ebony shook her head. “No. I’m a virgin. There’s no chance I’m pregnant.”
The doctor looked doubtful.
“All the same, I think it would be best if we made sure,” she said.
Ebony tried protesting, but to no avail.
“I’m not pregnant.”
“Yes?” Ebony said, looking at her as she walked into the room.
“You’re pregnant.”
Ebony looked at her incredulously. “I can’t be. I’m a virgin.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure!” Ebony exploded. “How could I not be sure? I think I would know if I had sex.”
The doctor began to look concerned. “Perhaps at a party, and you didn’t know what was happening…”
“When I was intoxicated?” Ebony said. “Sorry, no chance of that either. I’ve never had a drop of alcohol.”
“We could run the test again…”
“You do that. You’ll see. I’m not pregnant.”
“But I’m a virgin!” Ebony protested loudly. “Run one of those, one of those virgin tests! You’ll see!”
“We could try…”
“A virgin?”
The doctor nodded, dumbfounded.
“Well, I told you,” Ebony said, rolling her eyes.
“I don’t…I don’t know how to explain this,” the doctor stammered. “Perhaps…perhaps you somehow got artificially inseminated?”
Ebony scoffed. “You still maintain that I’m pregnant?”
The doctor looked at her hopelessly. “It’s undeniable. I’m sorry. I don’t…I don’t know what to say. I’ve never…encountered anything like this.”
Ebony just stared at her. “Are you serious? You – that’s all you have to say?”
“I’m sorry. You’re pregnant, and…and a virgin.”
I hope you liked it. And if you're going to say anything about how that doesn't happen when you're pregnant, or that's not how it goes at the doctor's, or blah, blah, blah...please don't. I know I probably have some thing wrong. If I wanted to get all the processes perfected, I would. The thing is, I don't. I think it's fine how it is. I'm going to look up more about what happens during the various months of pregnancy, but that's all I'm doing. Sorry.
Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter, Ebony will tell Damien she's pregnant and they'll talk about what happened to Ebony at the beginning of the chapter.
