Unit 03: “Bauched”

The irony of Vira having that conversation with Joy and Ellie when she did was that the first of the “Seven Wonders of the Western World” arrived off the coast of San Diego three days later, and quickly began moving northward towards Los Angeles.

“Alright girls, today’s the big day.” General Velari said to them from the command center of USSDF headquarters as Joy and Ellie listened from the cockpits of their respective components. “Do you guys want me to give you the run-down of what our plan is again?”

“… Could you, please?” Ellie replied.

“Plan A: …” General Velari began. “Components 01 and 02 will be deployed along the coastline—Site A—where they will engage the Hostile with firearms until it is destroyed.”

“… Is there a Plan B?” Joy asked.

“Okay… yes… sort of.” The general replied. “Plan B consists of the usage of a large cannon known as the Liquid Nitrogen Rifle—or LN Rifle for short—which will freeze the Hostile so badly that we should be able to shatter it with gunfire… in theory.”

“What do you mean ‘in theory’? It’s not gonna blow up on us is it?” Ellie interrogated.

“Oh, I doubt it’ll do anything like that.” Vira replied. “It’s just that we have it on loan from the European Union, and it’s never been tested or anything… so we think there’s a chance in might not do anything at all.”

The girls fell silent.

“But don’t worry! We probably won’t have to use the rifle at all!” Vira tried to reassure them.

“Alright, enough chit-chat; I want to see some carnage!” High Commander Escher intervened. “Get out there, my little duckies, and make daddy proud!”

Just as Vira had explained, Components 01 and 02 were deployed to Site A. On the horizon, Joy and Ellie could see a huge, purple mass floating out in the water.

“We’re sending you close-up images of the Hostile.” General Velari told the girls. Various pictures of the beast’s front, sides, back, and top appeared on Joy and Ellie’s screens. It had spikes sticking out of it from every direction and it had no recognizable face, limbs, or human-like features to speak of.

“We’re fighting a giant sea urchin?” Ellie remarked, viewing the images.

“Well… not exactly… I think.” The general replied.

“It doesn’t seem to be doing anything.” Joy remarked.

“It’s moving closer and closer to the coastline, but the shallow water has slowed it down considerably.” Vira explained.

“Shall we move on with this little shindig now?” Interjected Commander Escher.

“Components 01 and 02 will commence fire in five… four… three… two… one.” The frigid Sub-Commander Rockfellow announced.

The girls began to pelt the beast with a barrage of lasers and bullets for roughly thirty seconds before stopping.

“General Velari? I don’t think that did anything.” Ellie said.

“Pull up a damage report on the Hostile.” Vira ordered her underlings. Seconds later several images of the Hostile appeared on the screen in front of her.

“No significant damage to report on, general.” One of the underlings said.

“… Well so much for Plan A.”

“General! There’s been a significant energy hike within the Hostile!” Cried one of the underlings.

“Energy hike? What for?” The general mused.

“It’s a counter-attack, you bloody wanker!” Commander Escher exclaimed, rising from his seat.

“Shit! Girls, watch out!”

Suddenly, three of the creature’s sharp, purple spikes came shooting outward towards Components 01 and 02. One hit a nearby building, another landed in the water, a short distance in front of Component 01 and the third hit Component 02 itself.

Immediately following the impact, Ellie began to panic. She began sweating profusely and experiencing shortness of breath, which led to hyperventilating. The cockpit began spinning and then it appeared to her to be caving in.

“Get me out! Get me out! Get me the fuck outta here! Get me out!” She screamed.

“Ohh noo…” General Velari mumbled.

“General, Carmichael’s synchronization rate has begun to drop!” The underling nearest to Vira exclaimed.

“What’s her status?!”

“Forty-eight percent and falling!”

Moments later, a gray, mostly-metal object shot out from the back of Component 02. This was the cockpit being expelled from the machine itself. It was a reflex to the pilot’s synchronization rate falling below 25, which was a dangerous condition of the pilot to be in.

“Component 02 is shutting down.” Another underling announced.

“Umm, General? … What do I do?” Joy asked.

“We’re initiating Plan B immediately! Deploy LN Rifle to Component 01! Joy, you just… sit there and wait for the rifle!”

“Alright…”

Moments later, an exaggeratedly-long flatbed truck pulled up alongside Component 01, which proceeded to pick it up and aim it at the Hostile.

“Am I doing this right?” Joy asked.

“Yes, you’re fine, just concentrate on aiming and then fire!” The general replied.

“… Okay… I think I’m ready.” Joy announced.

“Then shoot the bloody bastard! What the ‘ell are you waiting on?!” The high commander asked.

Component 01 pulled the trigger on the rifle and a long stream of liquid nitrogen rushed towards the Hostile, freezing it on contact. Moments later, after some maneuvering, the entire entity had been frozen.

“We need to attack it now, before it begins to de-thaw.” Dr. Blackbell said. “In the state it’s in now, a little gunfire should destroy it completely.”

“Joy, fire everything you’ve got at the hostile!” Vira ordered.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Meanwhile, we need to get a medical crew out there after Ellie." Said the general.

Component 01 opened fire on the Hostile once again, this time shattering all of the spikes, only to reveal a hard, titanium-like shell underneathe.

"... I'm out of ammo... I'm sorry." Joy said.

"No, that's alright." Vira sighed. "Is it dead yet?" She asked one of her underlings.

"The Hostile is still showing vital signs."

"God damnit!"

"What is your plan now, General?" Sub-Commander Rockfellow asked, rather condescendingly.

"Joy, get the LN Rifle and freeze it again." Vira ordered, brushing off the sub-commander's rudeness as best she could. "And I guess we'll just keep freezing it and re-freezing it until we can figure out a better plan of attack..."

"Vira, I don't need to remind you what is at stake here." Said the high commander. "If the USSDF can't defend Los Angeles against these things we'll be the laughing stock of the whole world, not to mention your arse will be fired so fast your fucking head will spin off your shoulders, take flight, and get caught in orbit 'round the bloody moon."

"... And we'll be dead as all get out." Dr. Blackbell added. "Don't forget that."

Somewhat dazed from the commander's odd phrasing, Vira replied "... I know, sire."

"Good." Escher replied. "There will be a manditory board meeting tonight at nine. If you value your job, I suggest you be there. You too Blackbell."

At exactly 9:00 PM the leaders of the USSDF met in the forth confrence room of USSDF headquarters to discuss a "Plan C" for disposing of the first of the "Seven Wonders of the Western World". Five very important people were there that evening: the high commander and sub-commander (who ran the USSDF for the entire country), General Velari (who's job it was to strategize against any Hostile that happened to threaten Los Angeles), Dr. Eugene Blackbell (who designed Components 01 and 02, as well as the soon-to-be-completely Component 03), and head engineer Christian Heidegger (who led the construction of Components 01 and 02 and would now see to their upkeep).

"We all know why we're here tonight." Commander Escher said. "The first Hostile has arrived in Los Angeles, we don't know how to destroy it, and Component 02's pilot has proven herself to be completely and totally worthless."

"Elizabeth Carmichael is currently being treated for a nervous breakdown at the USSDF personal hospital." Vira explained. "When she's well enough, we'll run another synchronization test with her and Component 02, but until then, we're left with only the Prototype."

"That won't do." Dr. Blackbell commented. "The Prototype is just that. Component 02 is the final product; we need it. Though Component 01 isn't entirely worthless, it was made more-or-less as just a back-up for Component 02."

"So basically we need a third pilot?" Asked the high commander. "The Cleveland branch is gonna pitch a shit fit, you know. They reserved the right to build the third model component and therefore choose the third pilot. In fact, I believe they already have someone in mind."

"Well then great!" Vira exclaimed. "If they've already chosen a third pilot then why don;t they just send him or her and Component 03 over already?"

"Component 03 isn't finished." Dr. Blackbell clarified. "... Well, technically, it is fully-functioning, but they want to make sure it's perfect before they send it to us."

"This is bullshit. We've produced two models in the time it's taken them to build one." Vira said.

"Yes, here in Los Angeles you've managed to turn out a worthless prototype and a stubborn, complicated final product that no one can pilot in the time it's taken Cleveland to produce a near-perfect model. Outstanding." The sub-commander chided. Vira shot her a dirty look, but said nothing, for she valued her job.

"Alright, so, we need another pilot. There's no way around it, right?" The head engineer--who had kept quiet up until that point--interjected. "And if it means that we're gonna have to hurt Cleveland's feelings, then so be it. We can't really afford to prance around much here."

"Christian's right." Vira followed. "We need that third pilot right now. We can't wait on Cleveland to fine-tune Component 03."

"Not only do we need a third pilot, that pilot needs to meet some specific criteria." Dr. Blackbell added. "First and foremost, the third pilot needs to be able to pilot Component 02, and effectively; someone with a significantly higher synch rate than Elizabeth Carmichael would be ideal. Also, it would be a good idea if the pilot was male and over the age of eighteen. All sorts of child labor groups are breathing down our necks for employing Lockhart and Carmichael for the first to pilots, and we don't want to be labeled as the organization who sends little girls to war."

"Fine." The high commander replied. "But where is this 'miracle pilot' gonna come from? We can't just go pick some kid up off the street. We tried that with Carmichael and you see how well that turned out."

"Well... I think I might know of someone..." Said Vira, reluctantly.

'But your ex-husband is going to massacre you when he finds out you even conceved such a thought.' Her concience told her.

'I know...'