My heart rips itself apart

I had you and let you go

Twisting my stomach in knots

How will I ever know

What's meant to be or not

I take the lead and wait for you

I follow these instinctive desires

And get hurt from something so true

My mind races itself in circles

Chasing what I don't know is right

I wish you'd take control just once

So my heart can surrender this fight

I feel us rushing forward

But one wrong step and we're falling back

As our relationship constantly changes,

As we fade from gray to black

I reflect on lingering meaning

I had you and let you go

When what I want is something

That I don't even know