She tilts her chin up slightly,
Admiring the springy curls
On her pretty head

Doll, I never went to my prom
Either

And they had explained how im not quite
Ade(you outta)quit
Smart, but cute is outdated

The computer screen breaks
My eyes, dots swimming
As the numbers grow blurry
And I SWEAR 10 times 6
Is 600

Her fashion is so much better then mine
As I passed by him, tried to catch
His eye but my eyes pulse
From
I cant sleep yet, notyetnotnotyetnotyet
Im not smart enough

Not yet,
I want a rock and roll marriage
With the convertible roof back
And the wind blowing in the sun
Flowers in spring, leaves in fall
And a hot sun in summer
For the super huge faked gemmed sunglasses
In my dyed hair whipping
Speeding in our awareness of mortality

IthinkIneedashowernadmyasshurtsandthe
Adrenaline
Has my hands shaking,
The cold cold cold cold wont leave my clammy skin
No matter how far down I snuggle

Movie queen, my head asks, what are you playing at
And the slut fixes up her make up and I think of
All the boys
I had fucked
She’s a virgin going out to play the game, pretty, smart-
Er then me, I hope
O these American girls these days,
These girls

I never kept that promise to my sister

O darling, im crawlin’ through this spring
In my sweats and stringy hair,
I just want to make it……
To lie on the warmed green grass
And sleep

Wake up, and marvel
At my stolen wallet and keys and life
And the little cut and couple bruises
From the change people had thrown
At me

This flesh my daddy created, cultivated
Grew
All that love, all that hope

And youre ranting

But it’s not my fault I always
Always
Always
Forget the damn door knobs,
A psychotic spinster in the making
With an affinity for
Hoping
Even though it always happens
Once you’ve finally lost
All hope